This post was inspired by a writing prompt in the Worldbuilding Community - Worldbuilding Prompt #882 - Facial Hair Styles.
Enjoy !
Image created by AI in NightCafe Studio
It was half past... well, who knew or cared. The Mallatsson clan of the Niandi Dwarves were out partying in Milmar, and all they knew was that the beer was flowing and they were having a great time.
They'd made enough from the shipment of bronze ingots and raw emeralds that they could afford to spend an evening in The Captain's Cabin. Far more upmarket than the Sea Stallion which was their usual haunt when they came to this port.
To an outsider, the dwarves all looked very much the same. Stout, short chaps with big beards, big bellies, and ornate leather jerkins. Every one of them wore, or had stuffed into a belt, an almost identical brown woollen cap. Shapeless knitted things that looked like a beret.
But when Esmerelda the bar-wench had bought the last round of drinks, Snorri had swayed backwards - slightly drunkenly, so not really his fault - and had knocked into her. She'd saved the drinks, but his cap had been knocked off his head and the truth had been revealed. Inside the brown knitted hat was an inner layer of stout wax-boiled leather. It had hit the floor with a solid "clonk" sound.
"Oops !" Snorri said to Esmeralda, as he bent to pick it up. "I hope I didn't hurt ye ! It's my lucky mining cap, protects from rockfalls and dust, made by my own mother before my first mining trip."
Esmerelda smiled. "No harm done, it's good to know your mother cares for you !" Then she whirled the tray away to get more drinks. She'd have a bruised elbow by morning, but she didn't mind, the dwarves were jolly fellows, tipped well and were never any trouble.
"Okay, okay !" announced Mikkal Mallatsson, the captain of the expedition, standing up and swaying slightly. "It's time for a game. A beard measuring competition ! Longest beard gets free drinks for the rest of the trip, shortest beard buys the next two rounds !"
The dwarves erupted in laughter and friendly jibes. Some even made bets on whether they or their neighbour would have the longer beard. There were jokes about the rules, whether a long moustache could be added to beard length or could even win the contest on it's own, although the whole thing seemed so anarchic that it was clear Mikkal would just get to decide.
Pushing up the sleeve to his jerkin, he pulled out a stick of charcoal, and grabbed Snorri's beard. The latter called out in surprise, but then stuck his head on the captain's shoulder so that Mikkal could measure the distance from the top of his shoulder to the longest hair and mark the length on his arm with the charcoal stick.
It was impressive - well below the elbow but not to the wrist. Others clamoured to be measured next. Some were longer, some were shorter.
Then Mikkal turned to Vallant, who'd been sitting at the back during the contest, as if trying not to be noticed.
"Your turn !" he announced in a jolly drunken roar. Before anyone could move, he grabbed Vallant's beard to pull it down to his shoulder.
It came off in his hand.
"What the..."
All the dwarves' faces carried various expressions of absolute shock. Silence ruled over the clan who had been partying so loudly just a moment ago.
Sitting before them, Vallant was bare-faced. Not a hint of facial hair. None. Nada. But plenty of red-faced blushing.
"It's what all the girls in civilised countries do," she retorted. "None of them wear beards. Look at Esmerelda... she hasn't got a beard. She looks lovely without one."
"But... but... you're a dwarf ! It's our tradition ! You know the old saying; no beard, no bride. No self-respecting dwarf will marry you if you haven't got a beard at least half as long as his own."
Mikkal wasn't angry, but his voice conveyed a sense of deep (and somewhat inebriated) upset.
It's probably lucky he didn't hear Snorri mutterr under his breath "Well I'd still marry her."
Alcohol gave Vallant a courage she wouldn't normally have felt when dealing with the head of her clan. "I'll marry whoever I please," she said, defiantly. "And if a dwarf won't have me, maybe I'll pick a human. Or an elf. But don't worry, I love you all enough that I'd never marry an orc."
The joke broke the tension a bit. Mikkal looked down on her with a wicked grin. "Shortest beard. Looks like you're buying drinks for the rest of the night !"
From the other end of the table, another dwarf piped up. "Not just Vallant. I, Sviatsa, will help her pay. She's not the only one with the shortest beard."
And with that, Sviatsa pulled off her own false beard and tossed it onto the table as all the dwarves exploded into more laughter.
Vallant smiled with relief, then leaned over and murmured in Snorri's ear, "So will you break one tradition by marrying a dwarf girl with no beard, or break two and marry both of us ?"
