I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I heard the words to this song roar by Katy Perry while I was shopping at the mall, and it brought back emotions and memories I thought I had long gotten over, apparently they were still tucked away somewhere in my subconscious. These words right here were my reality some years ago, I was just too scared, battling a very low self-esteem, I let people walk over me because I was so scared of confrontations, I didn’t want to offend anyone, I let things slide ever so often just so I could get along with some people.
My mum had died when I was still very little, and I didn’t have so much of a mother figure to help me navigate the world hence the reason for my not-so-healthy self-esteem.
I remember the first day I heard this song some years back, I felt like it spoke directly to me, like the artist could tell what I was going through, because at that time I was almost at my lowest, but at some point, I had to pick myself up, and started the journey of building a healthy self-esteem. Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (hey)
Get ready 'cause I've had enough
I see it all, I see it now
I had had enough of all the stuff I had to go through because I wasn’t able to stand up for myself, I had discovered that no one, absolutely no one was going to look out for me, I had to do that for myself, I had to take care of me.
So began my journey, I began reading books and watching some videos on how to gain confidence, how to stand up for myself, how to be my cheerleader, and how to take care of myself. It wasn’t a jolly ride, but it was a process I needed to undertake for myself, there were times when I relapsed, and had to start from zero, but it was part of the process, so I had to keep going. Gradually I began to see changes, I began noticing subtle but visible changes, like I began speaking up regardless of how I felt, which was not so before.
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
I discovered that I could be who I wanted to be, and the only person who could hold me back was me, I didn’t want that to happen, I wanted to live my life to the fullest and have no regrets whatsoever. I wanted to look back when I get old and all gray and pat myself on the back that I indeed lived my life.
I’m not there yet, but I’m not where I used to be, I’ve grown a lot, I have taken my life into my own hands, no longer waiting for someone to look out for me, but looking for myself whenever the need arises and it’s been awesome!
Cause I am the champion, and you're gonna hear me roar
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ever since this particular song has been on top of my playlist, I roar during the chorus and sing out as loud as I can.
Thank you for stopping by💕.
