A few months ago, I had a big plan to follow my passion; the goal was to move from my state to the "somewhat" music capital of my country and create a career; The word "create" is very intentional. In fact, I had the whole plan of auditioning, singing for free, and all that because, at that time, I felt like I loved music enough, and that was all that mattered.
Well, In case you want to know if I did; SPOILER, I didn't, and I had a few reasons why I didn't, from everyone being against it to feeling inadequate to chase such a big dream, but, anyway, I gave up on taking such a big step and decided to work on myself, grow with threespeak and make sure that I was doing the right thing; the end!!! Or is it?
I do wish it was that easy, but it wasn't, and while I was trying to work on myself, a job that I had wanted for the past two years came up, and that screwed everything because I couldn't keep up due to the stress and the depression that came with this new job.
It got so bad even that I couldn't even sing because I didn't listen to music; I didn't just have the time to, which is crazy, and this meant I was giving up on my passion for a job; to survive, and I wasn't even sure I wanted the job even though I needed it.
Anyways, the lack of music meant that I wasn't getting INSPIRED and thinking about this now makes me feel like the lack of music might have provoked the depression; currently undergoing therapy because of how bad it was, but that is a tale for some other day.
For months I had chosen SURVIVAL which made everything suffer, including my hive, but fate had better plans. On a random day, I stumbled upon my threespeak account and watching the videos there felt weird, like it was a lifetime ago, like it wasn't me. You know when you take a view into your past and realise that it wasn't as bad as you felt? That was how I felt at that moment, and I decided immediately after that a balance was needed and SURVIVAL couldn't be the only choice.
SURVIVAL VS PASSION: A BALANCE
While, as humans, we need to chase survival because it's a big part of our nature, we also need to fuel our passion, and in most cases, one without the other is a recipe for disaster, but how can a balance be found?
Personally, in my case, my goal is to be INTENTIONAL and intentionality to me means scheduling, pushing myself and trying my best to keep up.
I am currently trying to figure out a schedule that would balance out PASSION AND SURVIVAL; it isn't the easiest thing, and I don't think I can jump on it easily, but it is worth it trying.
Anyway, I haven't written in a while, and I feel like this is just me rambling; generally my head feels like this so, I guess that's what I have to offer.
My goal coming back is just sharing my thoughts and following my passion and this might be way better now that I can SURVIVE regardless, if that makes sense.
All images used were either taken or created by me.
