As an extrovert and a minimalist, sometimes the silent battles between my active personality and my mindful lifestyle is an interesting thing to watch. I mean, I want to be outside but not around a lot of people which is almost impossible especially during certain seasons. I’ve actually laughed at myself a number of times in certain situations because of the contrast between my personality and lifestyle.

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster of December fun in my life with so many people. I mean they say the more the merrier right? But I realized that, at the end of it all, I was always missing out on the fun even while being present and it felt like everyone had left me behind. 70% of the time, I went all quiet and then the people around me would ask if everything was okay.

That brings me to my topmost adaptation mechanism of living in the moment; being quiet. Most of these fun places are very noisy and trust me when I say sometimes, it gets very exhausting just being there, not to talk of participating in whatever activity is going on. One of the things I do in such situation to slow the clock and be able to soak in everything is to stay quiet in my corner. I shut the doors to my world and watch as the world live however they want to while I take my time to register every moment worth remembering.

For a place like the beach, it’s almost impossible for me to just stay quiet when almost everyone wants to talk to me. Especially during this season where the whole place is crowded and noisy. To be able to live in the moment and not get carried away by the chaos, I put my phone on DND, and then collect sea shells. This in itself is more than therapy. It’s always like leaving the world behind and stepping into a place where nothing else matters except you. And from what I’ve been told, I always look like a happy 5 year old girl when I’m doing it.

The funny part about all of this is that, there are days the chaos come from myself. My thoughts race so much and make me feel like I’m not doing enough for my life. That is when I resort to my first love; crocheting. Just the repetition of patterns easily calms me from whatever is going on around me. I could write a whole book about this but the highlight is that no matter what happens during crocheting, I can always account for the time I lost track of. Looking at my work in the end helps me appreciate myself and effort in real time.

Writing this made me realize I have been pretty good at living in moment at my own pace irrespective of my active personality. I am going to say I’m proud of myself for creating a door to the other side where I find the peace and calmness that sustains me most times. And I’m definitely going to leave that door opened for as long as it needs to be.