A few years ago, I was shy to accept the fact that I am more of an introvert than an extrovert. I only feel like an extrovert when I am with people that I share close relationships with. Whenever I say I do not like public spaces people would always look at me as boring and weird. Slowly, I got to accept the fact that this is who I am and that is what makes me.
In 2022, after I left my ex-relationship, I tried making myself a different person. I would always want to go clubbing, I would want to visit the latest restaurant, partying with my cousin and his friends who at that point felt like they were my friends as well. During that period, I would always feel exhausted and I would just want to go home because I wasn’t enjoying myself no matter how hard I tried. Most times, I couldn’t even voice out because I didn’t want to look like a boring person.
But I could tell how exhausted I felt after every outing. Sometimes I even felt like this wasn’t my kind of thing but maybe I needed that change so I thought. It took me months before I was finally able to cancel on them most times I was invited out for parties, clubbing, and the rest. I made it look like I had other plans, well my other plans were to stay home reading a new book I just got or maybe stay home see a movie, or sleep.
When I look at my friend cycle, I realize I do not have many friends, I honestly can’t call that anti-social. I just feel like I have the right amount of friends for my peace and my simple kind of life. I could say I have 2 to 4 close friends, with whom I have created a strong bond. Amongst my friends, I have a very close one with whom I share lots of similar personalities.
She is more outspoken but then if there is one thing about her that I love is that she derives joy in the simplest things. Whenever we spend time together, either an outing which is always once in a while since we have different priorities, or even a stay at home, we tend to bond well. Our relationship has built me and I do not feel emotionally drained whenever we hang out or spend time together at home. I am always certain that when she calls me for a hangout it is always the two of us.
I have other friends who also call me for a hangout but most times I prefer to just stay home and do something else because I know it would be draining to me, or there would be a crowd and then I would always look for an excuse to come back home.
A few times I have gone out with my Dad to several events and occasions hosted by one of his friends or work colleagues, I just sit at a place and listen to their conversations and spend hours doing nothing because that’s not my kind of social gathering. I do not like public spaces. I have sometimes attended occasions with massive crowds, but I try to make sure it is very important to me and it isn’t going to drain me.
So naturally I am someone with a little social life and small friends circle and I love it so much because to me, I avoid anything that would drain me and I derive pleasure in simple activities, and also simple but deep conversations.
All images used are mine except otherwise stated
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