Take It Easy On Yerself

in #hive-19484811 months ago

featured.jpg

new-hr.png

I finally visited the Penguins.

This after being aware that they were nearby back in December 2022. If you can believe that.

small-hr.png

penguin-grooming.jpg

small-hr.png

For some years I wondered why nobody heard me, you know.

Or listened.

Or even asked for my side of the story.

Or asked for my, not so white, life-partner's side of the story.

Instead, a white male was believed and no further investigation was done. And when the folks who had enough power to set the record straight discovered they'd made some mistakes... they went quiet and disappeared.

Now I understand shame, embarrassment and fear pretty well, myself. So no judgement from me, other than the fact that if they were in those positions of authority, their own #UnconsciousBias and #UnconsciousPrejudice and healthy personal #individuation should have been addressed. First.

Before they were put into any kind of position of any kind of authority. And I'm talking about some pretty highly recommended social service folks and mental health professionals as well, to be clear.

So why, do you think, nobody would bother to check or ask either of us and to simply believe one version of events off the bat?

small-hr.png

dove.jpg

small-hr.png

But even when nobody believed me; totally ignored me; or - far worse - listened to me but didn't actually hear me, I continued to stay in my truth.

This was one of the loneliest talks that I've ever had to walk.

small-hr.png

barren.jpg

small-hr.png

I simply couldn't understand how good people could allow bad things to continue to happen, right in front of their eyes.

small-hr.png

attnetion.jpg

small-hr.png

I began to research and examine the human mind; the human condition; philosophy; history...

I looked everywhere for some answers to enlighten me during this new experience.

Never before, had I witnessed such willful blindness and complete disinterest, to my reality, in all my life. It was astounding!

Or so I thought...

until I was able to see a bit more clearly.

small-hr.png

porter.jpg

small-hr.png

lone-group.jpg


shakies.jpg


pole.jpg

 

#SystemicRacismExists #SystemicAbuseExists #SystemicSexismExists #WeAreAllResponsible #ItsNotPersonal
small-hr.png

signs.jpg

small-hr.png

But, of course, nobody really wants to talk about this.

small-hr.png
no-entry-landscape.jpg


no-entry-large.jpg

small-hr.png

So here are some more photos of where the Penguins hang out.

I thought that the photos would look better in black and white.

Kinda like a lie and the truth.

There is no grey area when it comes to the truth or a lie, I think.

But I am learning every day and this part is also very new to me.

So I always remain open to being corrected and learning more about it.

#UnconsciousBiasAndPrejudiceAlmostGotUsKilled

small-hr.png

road-closed.jpg

small-hr.png

solo-peng.jpg

#Judgement

small-hr.png

Yeah.

After all that reading and philosophising it came down to this!

But never have I ever taken so long, to cotton on to the other problem I've been encountering for the last few years of trying to rebuild my life!

Who would've thunk?

small-hr.png

man-woman-sign.jpg

small-hr.png

Oh no. Not me!

Never in a million years would I ever, ever!

#Jung #ShadowWork #Denial #Projection

small-hr.png

pylon.jpg

small-hr.png

Well then... I wonder why nobody could see any closer to the truth for all of the years I shared it? Perhaps they didn't believe me, even though I shared the same story consistently.

I wonder why?

I wonder why nobody finds the fact that I'm 52 years old, sleeping on a mattress on the floor part-time after running my own businesses successfully for over twenty years... odd? Or even asks why?

I wonder why nobody, who professes to be into freedom, is vaguely curious that I'm not allowed to move outside of 300kms of a city center that I would prefer to never, ever see again?

Isn't that strange?

Don't you think?

I think it's pretty strange.

small-hr.png

You see?

Do you see now? :)

#ItsNotPersonalButItIsImportant

small-hr.png

pylonandhole.jpg

small-hr.png

More snippets from the eggs all over now

 

Eh... "the system" doesn't make mistakes and "the system" isn't corrupt. "The system" is an inanimate human construct.

Individuals make mistakes and are corrupt because of ignorance and fear.

#Jung #TheUnconscious #Denial #Projection #ShadowWork

And popular opinion isn't always "right" either. #GalileoGalilei

#WeAreTheSystem #WeAreAllResponsible

But perhaps you think this isn't important because it doesn't really affect you personally...

small-hr.png

So a bit more on the mental health side of things and the reasoning behind me continuing to encourage folks to "resist".

#NotAnActivist #ResistYourFear

An excerpt from a book I wrote, sharing free information on mental health...


So in accordance with this more rational, logical and psychodynamic approach to mental health challenges the DSM-I refers to depression as “Depressive Reaction” and has the following description:

The anxiety in this reaction is allayed, and hence partially relieved, by depression and self-depreciation. The reaction is precipitated by a current situation, frequently by some loss sustained by the patient, and is often associated with a feeling of guilt for past failures of deeds. (DSM-I diagnostic and statistical manual: Mental disorders, 1952)

 

I went on to study C-PTSD and have found, personally (in accordance with the original more psycho-dynamic approach of the original perspective of mainstream treatment for mental health REACTIONS), that my "depression" was actually the Freeze reaction of the Fight/Flight Stress Response.

When I couldn't "flee" a situation that was causing me harm, either obviously or unconsciously, I would move into the freeze reaction / depressive reaction.

I found that "resisting" whatever was hurting me (boundaries work) by tapping into some defiance, continuing to speak my truth (safety first, please), or taking constructive action to change my situation etc. would fix / alleviate the so-called "depression".

i.e It's not necessarily "the system" we need to resist. It's our inability to say no to the things that may be causing us harm. In whatever way that may be. Even thinking a firm "No, that's not right and I'm going to be me anyway" is often enough.

#WhatIsNormalAnyway ?

It's not "the system" we may need to resist to avoid becoming "depressed" in other words. It's the pressure to conform and to be what we aren't, which causes us anxiety because we are not accepted as who we are (a threat to our authentic selves), that we may need to resist. Or because we are told to ignore said things and "suck it up buttercup".

Please ask away.

#IAmNotATherapist

I'm always happy to share my experience.

#NeoTherapy

I've also found that a large amount of unconscious bias and prejudice was the cause of a lot of my "stress", btw.

#SystemicAbuseExists #SystemicRacismExists in my country. And it's very normalized out here in South Africa. So normalized that we have some of the highest femicide rates globally. Yet we women are told we're being dramatic, or outright crazy, when we try to address things.

I'd say the same for any under privileged groups that aren't protected by current systems due to the systemic issues as well.

It's not normal to not feel safe most of the time. #MeToo

And constant stress and lack of validation results in trauma. Which can look like severe mental health conditions. #TheLogic

So, in my experience, James Hillman was spot on. #EnvironmentIsImportant

You can't ignore the environmental reasons that a human being may be suffering with stress reactions. And, in my research, there is no such thing as mental "disorders" or "diseases". This was a clever play on words for insurance purposes.

(Do not come off medications without medical supervision! This is dangerous!)

I hope this makes some sense. I've spent almost eleven years on this journey of discovery and, sometimes, I wonder that people haven't been told of these alternative perspectives.

Not many working medical health professionals even know about the history of their "bible of psychiatry and psychology".

So yes. Resist. Resist the pressure to deny your own experience and feelings. Resist the pressure to avoid dealing with the environmental causes of your stress. Resist the pressure to deny your own reality. <3

That's what all this "resistance" is about.

#BeYou The world will adjust - Albert Einstein

small-hr.png

405020215_850112946910608_5203441864252345768_n.jpeg

small-hr.png

On another note I missed Origin today. :(

Tristan and Adam (Headroom) were playing and I really wanted to go to this one. Monique and Regan put on a hella event and Origin has always been one of my all time favourites.

It'd be good to get back out there, reconnect with old acquaintances and show people that the smear campaign was just that. It always is, you know. I mean... there's no other reason a someone would share a something without the person being around to hear it, really.

More logic. But that pesky unconscious stuff. This is why I now focus on this and this alone. I reckon if we just address this, and the preconceived judgement that goes with it, humanity will be more than halfway to keeping the good vibes going even after the music ends.

Yep. Super bummed I'm still hamstrung financially. #FinancialAbuseExits

small-hr.png

serf.jpg

small-hr.png

It's been too long since I had a boogie on a big dance floor. Fuck knows this is the truth!

But.. sadly... I couldn't afford to go because #CapitalismIsExpensive.

#IgnoranceIsExpensive too, you know.

Yeah... what affects one of us affects all of us.

There's no getting away from this part.

But, don't trust me on this. I'm just a gal, after all.

And I still danced in the kitchen anyway today.

 

#ShameAndEmbaressmentWillSlowUsDown #OnlyHumanToo #ItsAllGood

#CancelCancelCulture #CancelJudgement

#Coexist 💜

#ThisIsPerfect

small-hr.png

small-hr.png

featured.jpg

But #HarassmentIsPersonal

sb-hr-2.png

Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer

still...

Beyond fear is freedom

And there is nothing to be afraid of.

To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee

www.mettame.art

sb-hr-2.png

All images not directly sourced are my own. All photo editing done with GIMP.

 

Sort:  

Great read. i love reading stuff like this.

Keep on fighting the good fight dear sister. No-thing is real, it's all just a play, so play and dance all day :-)

Synchronistically i'm now reading this:
https://d.buzz/@atma.love/hfk8a4l7uswu798d2xcoa0







i also love adventure type novels. Now "spiritual" adventure novels, like The Celestine Prophecy and all it's sequels, First Thunder, and many others are the best. Food for thought. (Wanna write one with me? :-)

Peace and love from across the pond.

Oh hello and almost good night because it's a school night again :|

Huh!

I'd totally send my son to your school if you supplied books like that! :D

My dear man. I barely have time to blog at the moment. But the lack of time seems to be making for more stream of conscious and flow. So I'm rolling with it!

I reckon we could write a great adventure 😀

Let me try and find some stability again, please.

My whole awakening began with the Celestine Prophercy. Lovely story.

"It's all a matter of energy" was my blurb in place of what religion I'm supposed to be, way back in the Facebook days.

Still holds true. #TheScience

Sending love always ❤️

It's interesting to see the penguin bay looking so flat - because I've also see it during the big storm last year when it looked more like this:

https://ecency.com/hive-141964/@jasperdick/surfing-a-bodyboard-session-during

This was at Betty's :)

It was a bit of a flat Grey day as well that day, though. So not many penguins nearby and not very exciting after that long wait!

I'll give Penguin bay a go next. Thank you for the heads up!

Sorry for the confusion - penguin bay is next to Stony point penguin colony at Betty's! We were at the same place... Only the storm created waves in the usually flat bay when I was there - back when I ran into you in September last year!

Oh no it's me who's confused :D

I remember that week. Yikes!

And meeting you in the raggedy old rain coat I was given at the store. I still had to walk in that shitstorm to shop. Er... not so lekker! 😆 But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and all that.

Nice post! Sorry I missed it :| And others at the moment. I'm trying a whole no auto vote thing and doing this organically right now. It's inspiring, really. But I do miss stuff :(

Thanks for the link. Some awesome footage there 💥

Great great post. I like all!

Thank you :)

In the Milgram Experiment, 65% of the participants kept their victims suffering until the end... until they discharged 450 volts into each one. The masses are always wrong. This is critically bad, are we being damaged? I believe we are.
I have never been close to a penguin, objectively speaking. Metaphorically perhaps yes.

Wow. I never heard of this! Thanks for sharing.

See? Why I say "People!" 👀

Most people, I should say. Fucking nuts! "Normal". Nuts, I tell you!

It is a social experiment that talks about authoritarianism and how people assimilate it. But I think it was right here.

I read up on it. Thank you. It's hectic and thank you because that explains even more.

Just wow and omgawds fuck! 👀

I also shared it on fakebook but just said from an interesting human on Hive.

Oh, @nickydee.... I'm happy to contribute something. Nah, just an ordinary human being. But thanks ;)

0 responsibility and high rate of greediness, less care for inner being and lot's of judgments based on external.

When pressure reaches its highest and you spot the crowd standing against you, your beliefs, right and wrongs - that's not fun.

Then anxiety hits hard

(had you watched Big mouth (Netflix?))

(had you watched Big mouth (Netflix?))

I will look it up

Oh great, you'll find there a perfectly visualized depression, comes in form of purple fat cat. :D

lol...I can't wait

Big time :)

But when you sit with anything long enough, it passes ;) There's not much to be anxious about as it turns out...

I haven't watched it :D Thank you for the heads up. I'll check it out. No spoilers, please!

When it pass, yes there is nothing left to be anxious about. 😂

One of the most heartfelt and raw things I have encountered, in my seven-odd years on Hive. Brave.

"The System" is a construct erected by those who were/are wildly uncomfortable with things that don't fit into neat little boxes... and it gradually gets worse because the channel that contains the acceptable becomes narrower and narrower as time passes.

Consider all the mental states once regarded as "within the normal spectrum of human experience" that today are regarded as "syndromes" and medicalised into oblivion.

Wow. Thank you. I really appreciate this.

I totally agree. The "popular" opinion and general consensus didn't work at school. Why we continue with the foolishness as adults is concerning indeed.

And yes. The more rigidly we think, the easier we are to scare and manipulate.

within the normal spectrum of human experience

Spitzer? From the man who made the mistake. Another member of that task force stated, some years later, that they had no idea of the impact this would have in the arena of mental health. Why this hasn't been amended by the treatment industry isn't that much of a mystery :|

Thanks for your time and support!

Been experiencing sensations of depression a bit lately. Wanna talk about it, hubs says. No. Im paralyzed. I did a whole yoga session yesterday on SPEAK and the throat... There's a timely lesson in there.

Australia too has a high rate of domestic abuse and femicide. And racism. Our indigenous people are told to 'get over the past' like it's an option, like trauma isn't in their tissues.

Neither of these things I want to talk about. Just dropped past to say hi

:( Not much chance they can "get over it" while they're still in it and suffering the consequences, really. Duh!

They say the same out here but the majority of the country is suffering every single day. Still.

Okay re the freeze. I still avoid the trauma processing btw. It's a bitch. And I don't like to cry so grieving is not my thing at all. Still.. the only way out is through or it keeps returning in my experience.

These days I even know exactly what it is, but still I'll resist doing the work :D For days, sometimes!

But I've managed to do it all slowly over these years. My first year... I cried pretty much for a year.

Still have a bit here to go but I'm avoiding it. Of course :D It doesn't freeze me or slow me down anymore though.

Slow and steady with this stuff. Always.

Honestly... and I keep returning to this... the beginning of the work for me was the PolyVagal stuff. Just checking in with my nervous system all day and everyday. Nowadays I'm so naturally aware of this that I feel it instantly when I'm in a situation that is (was) a trigger. When you begin to become this aware you begin to see patterns. When you begin to see the patterns you can being to create a map back to the primary traumas.

It's more obvious when I can finally write the story and show how things unfolded, via various therapies and bits of information I found.

The Body Keeps The Score explained it all so well for me..

I know what you mean about checking in with the nervous system. It's like this dog or child you have to tend. 'Just looking after my NS.' 'My NS needs some love right now '.

Once you understand the biochemistry it makes it easier to respond in a healing, healthy way

Yes :)

And to catch things and manage them before it escalates into a full panic attack or freeze reaction 👍

Box breathing is my rescue remedy ..

Oh.That sounds interesting. Ta. I'll look it up :)

It's a hell of a trip reading your thoughts. But didn't I come here to see those penguins, lol! Anyway, looks like you have something going on in your head, thinking too much about what's around? Sometimes I try to figure out human nature, and how their philosophy works but always end up either frustrated or too infuriated about the way we, humans, deal with things. Deep inside, we know it's not right but why do we keep doing that? To satisfy the system or something else? What is a system anyway, who created that, how do we know that's the right system? My little brain really cannot get through.

Oh I have my theory :)

Or hypotheses. But it worked for me so maybe it's a theory after all. More research required 👍🏾

And ditto, my friend. I think super sober makes for the most trippy trip of all. The more clear the mind becomes the more surreal we humans become.

But it's understandable. All things considered. Nothing mystical about this part.

And well... you saw some penguins too! ❤️

my "depression" was actually the Freeze reaction of the Fight/Flight Stress Response. When I couldn't "flee" a situation that was causing me harm, either obviously or unconsciously, I would move into the freeze reaction / depressive reaction. I found that "resisting" whatever was hurting me (boundaries work) by tapping into some defiance, continuing to speak my truth (safety first, please), or taking constructive action to change my situation etc. would fix / alleviate the so-called "depression".

This matches my personality. The moment I can't seem to free myself from a particular situation, I freeze and before I know it, I move straight into depression. But if I talk about it through journalling on Hive, for instance, it helps, but if I shy away from writing about it, my mental space will continue to be threatened.

Absolutely! Using your voice really helps!

It's why I continue to do the same. It keeps me going, actually. I don't think I'd have made it, all these years, if I hadn't done this.

And finding Hive tbh. People supported the icky conversations anyway. I got cancelled on mainstream social media :D

So we stick with Web3 and the folks who are less afraid of stepping outside of little boxes! The end <3

Congratulations @nickydee! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

You distributed more than 11000 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 12000 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Check out our last posts:

Our Hive Power Delegations to the January PUM Winners
Feedback from the February Hive Power Up Day
Hive Power Up Month Challenge - January 2024 Winners List

Thanks, HiveBuzz

Just spent an your listening to music and seeing different parts of the world, while I had my morning coffee.

Upvoting is the easy part! More to follow :D

Sending love, as always ❤️

That sounds like a wonderful way to start the day!
Keep spreading the love! ❤️