I immediately took to the concept when I first found the documentary "Minimalism" in 2016.
I guess it's because I'm vehemently anti-consumerism and, so in line with this, Fight Club was (and still is) one of my all time favourite films. Badly misunderstood, mostly, Chuck Palahniuk hit the nail on the proverbial head in the 80s and there's so much more to this film than first meets the eye.
Mostly, I think, because (like anything) you only really "get" it when you walk it.
It's not at all about railing against the system...
it's more (with my experience now) about letting go of the fear that keeps us "stuck" in any kind of system. And it's about deconstructing and letting go of the carefully created, and often completely unconscious, stereotypes we have of ourselves (and others) that go along with this.
The film isn't simply about consumerism, the disillusionment of Capitalism and the fallacy of the America Dream.
Rather, my understanding of what the author was trying to say these days, is that it's more about the concept that it's only by eradicating our fear of "death" that we're able to, finally, be liberated in full.
It's about "enlightenment" in a material world.
So while this week's prompt instructs us to not go into religious beliefs, which I have no interest in anyway (with no disrespect for those who find solace in them), what I do have to share about the values (and principles, in fact) that I would absolutely never deviate from moving forward with the learning I have now...
is that they are, very much, philosophical principles that many spiritual practices encourage.
But, again, these need to put into action for a person to properly integrate and understand why it's so very important to actually "walk" them.
And they're so firggin' incredible to walk that I wanted to participate in this week's #KISS prompt in The Minimalist Community to share them with you as well.
It's not, I believe, only a physical death that needs to be sat with long enough for a person to lose their fear and so be "liberated".
It's a psychological and social death as well.
Because when a person loses all fear of "death" in all of these areas, they really do become free to choose to do whatever makes them happy. And to be who they authentically are.
To the "reptile brain" (the Amygdala), a social death is as real a threat as a physical death is.
Our brains aren't as clever as we like to think they are.
The fact that most of our society now equates material wealth with success, power and affords it far greater social status than it really should have... creates a very real psychological threat, in the mind, when a lack of material "safety" (abundance) is called into question.
A very real psychological threat because of how the material is now so intrinsically linked to our survival, socially, in "the pack".
This has led to a level of consumerism that, I honestly believe, is more addiction than survival orientated.
People use money, opulence and consumerism in exactly the same way they use drugs, and addictive behaviours, to avoid the stressors and trauma associated with trying to survive materially in the world these days.
And to be validated, loved and accepted as well.
The thing is... just in the same way that drugs and alcohol can't eradicate any kind of fear permanently... neither can making more money or buying more stuff.
It's an internal lack of a sense of safety, comfort and self worth that nothing but courage, self reflection and a great deal of personal growth can permanently fill.
Money is a drug. Just like any other drug.
And the problem with this one...
is that "using" it and "scoring" it is applauded pretty much globally as successful, ambitious and admirable.
It's not.
It's fear driven.
Just as any other abuse of any other substance or behaviour is, if the motivation behind the pursuit of it is unhealthy and compulsive.
And it's never enough, is it?
Just like any other substance. It never seems to be enough.
I've met people who are exceedingly wealthy, yet still believe they haven't achieved their goals... or even (at times) that they are "broke".
Letting go of financial fear (especially in the world we currently live in) is arguably one of the single most liberating things a person can do.
The thing is... a person has to let go of most of who they think they are to achieve it.
What must be lost to gain "everything"
A person will have to honestly and authentically let go of everyone else's opinion of them and the validation that may bring them.
They'll have to let go of the unearned respect of those who are still buying into mainstream ideals of "success" or "achievement".
They'll have to let go of their social status in "the tribe" because many people will turn away due to their own fear of lack of abundance.
They'll have to let go of the adulation, admiration and, sometimes, ( not real anyway) "love" of many who are close to them.
They'll have to strip themselves bare, walk solely on their own and withstand the inevitable judgement and withdrawal of a very material society that goes with this.
They will have to endure the isolation of this and learn to be alarmingly self-sufficient.
They will have to be vulnerable in a way that is humiliating in a world that spurns this as weakness.
They'll have to learn to walk through all of this, understand that they will survive regardless and walk out of it knowing who they truly are despite it all.
They'll know this because they've done this without any of the cushioning of any material thing, person or the majority of the society they once felt safer being a part of or having.
They'll know that nothing external defines who they truly are, because they've walked through all of this without depending on anyone or anything to make them feel okay.
It is by experientially integrating this concept to the point that it becomes a Truth...
and it is once this has been realised...
that there is no longer any need to rely on anything external, to know that there's nothing to fear.
You will survive.
You will know yourself fully.
And you will, once you've done this, be free to be yourself without shame or fear. In whatever way you see fit with whoever you see fit to do it with.
In other words...
“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
I've said this before around here but I didn't really understand this quote myself, until I experienced it in practice. Because Chuck Palahniuk was never only referring to the material...
He was talking about fear itself.
It's just that the material is so very tied into our instinctual survival mechanism these days.
So yes.
Minimalism is a vital part of any personal growth if a human being is interested in evolving in the world we've created. But it goes far, far deeper than just letting go of stuff in my experience.
As you can probably tell by now.
The values I walk to keep myself vigilant and to not lose myself in the allure of other people's undeserved admiration and respect these days?
1) Honesty
Every value or principle, in my (sometimes opinionated... sorry!) opinion, relies on this principle alone.
In fact... I think you only really need to walk this one as fully as possible for everything else to fall into place!
It can't not, you see.
You start to speak, walk and live your truth... and although sh!t will get crazy as the shift happens... you also can't not achieve radical authenticity by doing this.
It's immovable though. Brutal honesty, I used to say.
There's no other way to achieve any kind of authentic "freedom" from anything without this.
I was never honestly happy or fulfilled when I was materially affluent and supposedly "successful".
I was also never as okay financially as I made out either.
See?
2) Non-judgement
Removing all judgement of others paved the way for me to see clearly when it was that I was being judged.
And this helped me to let go of other people's judgement as a result.
When I lost all interest in the judgement of others I was able to "shed" so much of the unnecessary bling I bought into... just to be liked and accepted socially.
Just to "fit in".
The thing is... I never felt as though I was really loved or accepted anyway... because I wasn't being myself. I found it was a pointless and futile behaviour I'd learned by rote. "Keeping up with the Joneses".
I like to say perfectionism is a form of addiction.
And pretending to be okay to be accepted... or better than okay to be accepted and liked... is probably one of the loneliest experiences in the world.
3) Humility
Self explanatory, but often misunderstood.
In recovery humility is more about honesty (again) than it is about self deprecation.
It's about being honest about both your weaknesses and your strengths. It's about being honest about who you really are.
It's about being okay with saying "I can't do (or can't afford) that" and finding a compromise that everybody is okay with.
Or (and I'm still learning this) it's about accepting (with gratitude) the generosity or help of others, when I need it, if it is offered.
It's about understanding that there are ways to reciprocate and participate that may have nothing to do with the material, but which have as much value.
And it's also about understanding that it doesn't even need to be reciprocated because I always do "pay it forward" anyway. And the people who share generously usually don't expect a return.
I'm working on learning to receive gracefully, these days, without the guilt and shame I've been programmed should go along with this.
Once upon a time I used my financial status to pay for others and I often gave far too much away and suffered because of this.
But what I've come to understand...
was that this was mostly because it put me into a position where I was needed.
And in control.
What seemed like generosity, at the time, was more about insecurity and a lack of self-worth.
Feeling needed and constantly taking care of others was, in the end, just a way of avoiding my own personal challenges and feelings.
4) Creativity and Open-Mindedness
There are so many different ways of having fun and living well that don't require much at all... except the creativity and open-mindedness to think of them.
It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling options are minimized due to lack funds or lack of "things".
Utter rubbish! It's often far more fun making gifts, or cookies (!), outfits for dress ups or even toys and games than it is to simply buy them.
Also... if these are experience and done with others, it's just a perfect way to spend valuable time connecting. Now mostly lost in a world where you can buy anything and not even have to even make eye contact anymore.
There are so many great values I could list for this prompt.
Patience - to know things will pass.
I've gone hungry at times due some of my own experience. What was terrifying initially has become an understanding that there will be a time that things will be different. Maybe I can't have that right now... but somehow... there's always a time when I get to experience it in the future again.
Or I could say resilience.
Because learning to do with less and to still be okay requires this, at times.
But the one I'd really add to this list is...
5) Radical acceptance
This experiential learning has afforded me the capacity to not react much at all to anything unless I choose to.
When I learned how to really accept every moment for what it was (knowing again that it would pass... because this is inevitable), I began to understand how little I need to be totally okay.
Whether it's material comfort, or even the support and comfort of others, it's cool if that's around but if not... I've got this!
Now.
By learning this lesson I'm now able to connect with others in a way that's more real and intimate than I ever have before.
If you remove the need for any item, or even for any human interaction (and the validation we're often seeking through this)...
you're left with the capacity to offer what you have (be it material or of yourself) with absolute clarity of intent and generosity of spirit.
With total "self" (less-ness).
It has brought me immense peace to know when my motivation is clear and when it may be skewed.
It's through walking this one that a person can learn to fully accept and even love themselves. To grow honest and beautiful friendships. And to avoid making unnecessary bad judgement calls that may need more "f*ck I'm sorry I'm such a twat" laters...
By really understanding that one doesn't need much of anything...
a person also becomes more honestly and truly "free"...
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee
Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash
and Photo by ÉMILE SÉGUIN on Unsplash
Footer image Photo by Hans Veth on Unsplash (edited by me with addition of Carl Jung quote),
