You realise how much simpler life can be when you're moving with minimal load, like travelling light. Losing the burden of excess in that case is, however, incomparable with letting go of mental weight. And this one got me on the wrong route, leading me to who knows where.
I had to wake up and make the change I wanted to see. So I braced up and changed the narrative of my academics right on the verge of levelling up to the university. That move shaped things for the better. But I began to miss the mark at some point. Things went from zero to hero to meh.
The major exams for admission into my desired course of study went well, and my results were sweet, something you wouldn't expect from the kid who used to bag a lot of reds. I grew hungry for success, and things were going well. But I became distracted in my first year, giving me a pretty ugly start.
I did it again and began to do very well again. My CGPA kept going up each semester—after the initial deep dive, of course—but I became obsessed with my goal. At one point, after not scoring as desired on semester, it became crystal clear that I was never hitting that goal in final year.
"All the sweat, money I spent on coffee for sleepless nights, the parties I never attended, the ladies I didn't chase, the fasting and prayer—wasted!"
Doing school slowly began to feel like a chore. I was already used to studying and working hard, though, so I could still keep the good grades coming. But not for too long. It became harder, knowing I wasn't getting "there" anyway.
For the first time, my CGPA went down a bit, and it was even in the final semester. Before then, my inner man had already graduated long ago. I had become unexcited about school, and I couldn't move on from the feeling of failing.
The irony of the matter was that I actually finished really strong. Very far from failing. Shaking off the past was the issue. And I couldn't even see what I actually gained rather than what I thought I lost.
In those years at the university, I gained experience that put me in a very good position to mentor and lift someone else even higher. I never realised how much I was there for this person. They hit the goal I had in mind, and the joy that filled my heart when I got the news knew no bounds. Surely, they had to put in the work for themselves and walk the walk, but learning from my experience and me being present was something for them.
There was no changing the past, so brooding over it was doing nothing but slowing me down. All along to me, the glass was half empty. It took embracing what I was graced to attain to fully be grateful and move on to even greater things.
"An optimist looks at a glass and says the glass is half full. A pessimist looks at a glass and says the glass is half empty. An engineer looks at a glass and says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be." - SOURCE UNKNOWN
You choose how you want to travel at the end of the day, but light always feels better.
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