Can you mindfully avoid letting the anxieties of others affect your daily life ?

in #hive-1948487 hours ago

And achieve your goals ?

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Does anxiety increase when you are more mindful and reduce when you are relaxed ? Is anxiety related to stress ? Can you sleep like him at any time, any place ? Who are those people who either do not have any anxiety or full control over their anxiety ? These are some tough questions that keeps hunting me on a daily basis, and this weeks kiss-145 prompt is a perfect opportunity to discuss this topic.

Goals are what kicks us for living the life, and again there are long term goals, which keeps changing at times, at least for middle class people like us. One can say, Happiness is the ultimate goal, but it's not that simple to live a happy life, unless you have achieved everything you wanted very early (does it end actually ? ) or you are detached from everything. Detachment (or non-attachment) is the key to overcome suffering, but is extremely difficult to attain in family life. It becomes very late till we understand that material success is really not worth at all, and we try to enjoy that. The easier path is renunciation or sannyasa, leading a holy life - free from lust, craving and desires. That is the reason, we saw some very young people (even some very rich girls) becoming saints at very early age at this year's Kumbh Mela. But that also needs a lot of courage and understanding the true meaning of life from a very early stage, which is rare. So we don't fall into any of these categories and for us, mindfully avoiding the anxieties is the only means to live a healthy life, which is the first step in peaceful living.

To avoid letting the anxieties of others affect our daily life is not that easy as well, because when you live in a family, others have expectation from you. You have to take care of your parents, your in-laws, your immediate family, and of course yourself. Setting the right expectation is the key to fulfill your duty towards them, and I am talking about only what you can do - not what they will do. Often we expect others to do certain things and unfortunately, it does not always work the way we expect. As we grow older, we realize to stop expecting and focus only on what we can do - it's like living like a saint inside your own house. We continue doing our duty and guiding them the best, but everything beyond that needs to be accepted. And then keeping aside some dedicated time for us, to understand and execute what makes us happy. So over the time, I have found out that doing the morning work out ( in any form) for a hour starts my day better. And I try to plan the day's activity, even though that's not fully in my control. As the day progress, I tend to slow down towards evening (so that my anxieties can reduce to the fullest), to be able to have some better sleep. In the process of analyzing myself, I find, I should mindfully avoid letting the anxieties of others affect me only till evening. From there, I should relax and try not to be mindful, because being mindful is like creating anxiety, and that spoils the night's sleep.

How do you deal with this in your everyday life ? Does things always works the way you plan ?

I would love to hear and learn from other's perspective from the hive family. And now let me put some light on the photograph.

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In an unfortunate event, I went to a nearby hospital at 4 am, and these people were sleeping in the reception area. I was wondering how they are able to sleep at such a place, that is when the security guards asked them to get up and clear the space.

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Within half an hour, the area was being cleaned by their staff.

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Some people went and sat, and some did not hesitate to sleep.

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But he was free of all anxieties taking a nice sleep - his relatives must have been in the hospital, but still he can control that anxiety - a lesson to learn.

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Anxiety is something everyone is passing through, I think it's inevitable but all we need is the strength to overcome it

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As someone who suffers from OCD and insomnia, I´m the last one to talk about how to control intrusive thoughts and anxieties but I have been trying to work on it at least :) Btw why did those people sleep on the floor at the hospital reception?

@tipu curate 5

Those are people whose relatives are admitted in the hospital, and their attendants wait like this, unless they have some nearby place to go.

Wow. That´s sad. So undignified :(

I can understand, it must be really tough. But the fact that you're trying is what matters most. With patience and focus, things will get better.

As for the people sleeping on the floor at the hospital reception, it sounds uncomfortable. Maybe they couldn't find space due to an emergency or the hospital being overcrowded.

Anxity is something this youth is facing a lot, and we as mid-aged people also face the same problem. Nice blog sir.

Almost everyone is facing - a shift from simple living to a more demanding life is root cause of all this.

I sometimes sleep on the grass in my garden. But I wouldn't be able to sleep in a public place. I remember when I was a student, at the age of 20, I fell asleep well in a noisy train carriage, where there were many people. But now I need silence.

Ya, that is the difference, at that age, you did not have to control, but now its difficult even though you try to control.

That is the reason, we saw some very young people (even some very rich girls) becoming saints at very early age at this year's Kumbh Mela. But that also needs a lot of courage and understanding the true meaning of life from a very early stage, which is rare

Let me cite two examples--Mahatma Buddha & Sant Kabir.

Kabir belonged to a poor family and Buddha was from an affluent family. For Buddha to renunciate was easy, and understandable, because when you have accomplished everything on a material plane, then you naturally saturate.

Human psychology is so designed that we value something we do not possess. The moment when we accomplish something it becomes trivial for us.

But contrary to this, when you do not have material possessions, you are still not lustful or greedy will require high consciousness to call it trivial. Kabir calls these materialistic things trivial despite living in poverty.

Both are on the path of enlightenment but one is informed by saturation and the other by consciousness.

What we call happiness changes 360 degrees once enlightened and that is different from happiness orientation in our material life. If you ask a teenager he will say happiness can be truly experienced in sexual intercourse, if you ask a person in their 40's he will say financial freedom and material possessions. If you ask an old aged person, then he would say health. Put simply, in different age brackets, your requirements are different, so as the happiness orientation.

But happiness is different altogether, and happiness is informed by our consciousness, that is why happiness is the state of being, not a state of doing.

Thank you.

Jai Jagannath.
🙏🙏🙏

happiness is informed by our consciousness

And to cultivate that consciousness is not simple, the sooner we do, the better it is.

Yes through regular mediation, swadhyaya, samyak shruti, etc.

A person is a social being. It is highly probable that he/she will be affected by someone else's anxiety. As the days go by, a person starts to resemble an anxious person. The biggest source of anxiety is stress. Regular walks reduce stress to a great extent. I used to be an anxious person, I overcame this by walking regularly. You also need to do breathing exercises. When my stress level increases a lot, I lift weights, and my stress level decreases.

We need to surround by like-minded people

I think you have written everything perfectly, I couldn't write any better... Stress bring anxiety, and anxiety bring more stress because you can't get out of it, it's a dead circle, then you sleep bad, get more anxious and so on

In a family anxiety increase, you are responsible of others not only yourself, you have kids, they depend on you, you need to grow them well, they might have problems they can't solve and need your help, it all piles up... One needs a break and a hobby but it's hard to achieve with a busy day, I haven't gotten a solution myself 😅

Then you first need to find a hour for yourself - that would be your starting point.

It's hard not to be sucked into to other people's drama sometimes. No matter how hard you try. Sometimes it kind of feels like it is attracted to you. I think just focusing on your own goals and trying to block out the noise is the best we can do at times.

One of the things that I have actually come to discover is the fact that people will always talk and it seems like the situation of people around us will continually affect us. But the decision lies in us to be strong and not to be easily influenced by anything

But the decision lies in us to be strong and not to be easily influenced by anything

It's not easy to take decision, when you deal with your immediate relations.

Hmm
The youth are the ones facing the most anxiety right now
I just hope we all try to get things right and try every way to prevent any form of anxiety

I really admire how you construct your sentences, I'm not gonna lie you're a great writer I'm wish I could write like you, thank you so much for sharing ❤️ I love your blog. I'm looking forward on your future blogs and I will definitely follow you @sanjeevm 😉 God bless!

I actually feel a lot of people or majority of people are in the state of anxiety right now but I hope we all are able to manage whatever we are going through

In life, people want to do many things, want to get many things for themselves and want to make others happy. But most people cannot do that. There are some shortcomings everywhere. Everyone studies and desires good results, but many cannot. Again, many of those who get good results do not get good jobs. Suppose you do not lack anything but you are sick, then are you happy? Of course not. It is wise to accept that crises are a part of life and do your own work. Many people overcome anxiety easily, but many cannot. Some anxiety cannot be avoided even if you want. In any case, you should remain calm in all situations, you should not be unnecessarily tense. Even then, anxiety will remain a part of our life until death.

Sir I have gone through your blog.
It is an interesting topic.
I think we have to give time to ourselves to control the anxiety, depression and stress. Whenever I was in stress I go for a long walk with my best friend. We spend time with nature and enjoy gupshup.
I think being over responsible make us more stressful. We should be responsible for our family but at times I think we become perfectionist, that hurt us..
This is my point of view sir..
May be I ma wrong...

Your thoughts and approach to life are truly inspiring! Dealing with anxiety and stress is tough, but the way you’re consciously trying to manage things is commendable. Being mindful of your happiness and peace is so important. The discipline and perspective you’ve developed can be a source of motivation for many. I hope your plans work out, and that you continue to feel better!