When I was younger, my mother told me a story that has stayed in my memory for a long time. My mum said she read about a woman who was carrying a heavy load on her head. It was so heavy that she stooped under it. She refused the help of other people who wanted to relieve the burden for her. When she decided to take a motorcycle, she wouldn't place the load on or at the front of the bike. She insisted on carrying it on her head during the duration of her trip. When she wanted to take a bus, she refused to place the load on the floor or at the back of the bus. She insisted on carrying it on her head. It meant there was something wrong. And I think this story is relative to the theme, ‘TravelLight Tuesday’.
What weight do we carry?
Sometimes, we lug weight around without even being aware that we carry them. When I mean weight, I mean expectations, opinions, comments and thoughts of other people. As a child, the expectations were small at first. ‘Be obedient. Do not cause trouble. Have good grades.’ These expectations were achievable, at least it was easy to fulfill them. All I had to do was obey the adults and behave properly and study hard. Easy.
Adulthood?? Wasn't so easy then.
Growing up was different though. Taking these gradual steps towards adulthood was adding a little bit of weight and i was gradually bending. Firstly, the expectations became higher. Of course, I still had to obey the higher adults. I still had to behave properly. I still had to study hard. But this time around, doing this things was now a bit difficult. Sometimes, I always felt this surge of rebellion, this need to just be this way. To be who I wanted to be and sometimes, who I wanted to be didn't align with what family and society expected from me. I read somewhere that parents sometimes want to fulfill the dreams and wishes that they couldn't when they were young, through their children. Instead of children following their parents footsteps, parents want to walk in the steps of their children. And that's why sometimes, they place these expectations on us and want us to be more and better than them and fulfill those dreams that they couldn't. And that's extra weight.
Opinions?? Especially negative ones? The absolute worst
Living in a world where people can't keep their thoughts or opinions to themselves had it's effects too. Keeping up with the digital world where everyone have their various thinkpieces on how things or people should be, is hard too. Everyone has their definition of perfect and they throw these definitions like curveballs. ‘Are you perfect like this? Is your life like this? You're not happy unless you are like this. You need to be this way and that way.’ And even all these opinions are extra weights. You can't just move through life freely because you are checking yourself. Am I in sync with what the internet wants? Am I with the in-crowd? Do I have the perfect body that the internet likes? Do I think the way the internet wants?
Just then, you are bending under the load of all these opinions. For someone like me who has dealt with the insecurity of my body, I know what it feels like to carry this unnecessary burden of insecurities. Waking up in the morning and checking the mirror and thinking, “I hope people would have nothing to say when they see me today.”, is not something anyone has to go through.
Grief and guilt?
Sometimes, we hurt because we have loved and lost. Because we think we didn't do the right things or say the right words or act on time. We bend; almost break under the pressure of guilt and grief, that it might be too late to go back and fix things. Yes, it might be too late to go back to the past. But taking steps into the future, it's healing to just open one’s heart and mind and let the hurt go, no matter how tough it is. And try to do better and live better in the future. At least, the future is full of so many chances and possibilities.
All we need to do is to shed these weights. One by one. Piece by piece. A day at a time. We just need to be at peace with ourselves. It would probably not be easy. But people's negative opinions do not matter. What matters is being happy with yourself, knowing you are doing right by yourself. If people's expectations and opinions do not align with what you have for yourself, shed it. It might not be easy, but in the end, you would be lighter for it.
This is how I travel light through life. These are the principles I try to apply to my journey through life. Sometimes, I buckle. But, I pick myself up and keep shedding.
Thanks for reading.
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