Have you ever felt a bit unseen, unloved or just a bit ordinary and some stranger gushes that they love your earrings or couldn't help but notice how well you were doing your job? It's rare enough to take you aback, whilst still cheering you up enormously at the same time. How kind of them, we think, whilst smiling to ourselves, feeling puffed up at the same time. It's rare enough an event to really make our day. It's a good feeling, to feel supported and recognized.

It took me a long time to realise that it was also my job as a human being to do that to others, because I felt a little shy or awkward. How would my compliment be received? Would it be unwelcomed or sound awkward? Perhaps it was because I just didn't realise the impact kind words can have. Perhaps it was because sometimes nice thoughts are just fleeting, and it didn't occur to me people needed to hear them. Perhaps I just needed the practice, or to see the effect small kindnesses can make.

Yesterday messaged a stranger on Marketplace. She had advertised a very beautiful piece of second hand furniture, and clearly a lot of work had gone into it. So I told her. And it made her happy. The fact that people could be so awful sometimes and I'd just countered that made me feel good in the process.

I'd done similiarly with a woman who'd been attacked for her suggestion a logo needed an apostrophe. The logo maker had asked for advice and she'd suggested that because the business name contained the apostrophe after all. No less than six people berated her for it. I could have scrolled on by but I sure as hell wasn't going to let a grammar sister stand alone. I stood up for her and sent her a personal message.

She cried, she said. She had had such an awful week and was really down, and that attack left her feeling vulnerable and upset. My words had felt like a warm hug. I was glad I bothered to send them. Turns out you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by venturing a kind word, however small, to a random stranger.

I've been thinking a lot about a conversation with @galenkp recently about how shitty the world is becoming. Morality seems a dirty word and it seems that dogs will eat dogs in their desire to serve only themselves. What do we do in the face of such despair? How do we personally change things? Sometimes we can feel powerless and shut ourselves off from all that, just to survive. I'm guilty of withdrawal myself. My garden is a retreat from the madness and cruelty in the world.

But there's also a chance to be a little light - even if it's small, tiny kindnesses. What if we all just chose to be kind and compassionate? What if we all practiced it just a little bit, every day?

Although we might not know people, or they us, a kind word or a kind smile makes our hearts feel lighter. Without them, a sense of community is impossible, and connection to others as human beings struggling in this world is lost.

With Love,

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