Maintaining a relationship is hard
I'm not even talking about romantic ones. There are some relations that you want to cut off completely, yet they are there at the back; reminding you of their existence. You may have some people in your life who mostly keep you around because it looks good on their portfolio of life - just waving at you occasionally. When it's time for pictures, they smile brightly at you. And the moment you hear that click that smile and familiarity are gone.
Showtime's over.
These are the relations you have inherited. Although they are supposed to be closest to you, you tend to keep them at arm's length for your sanity and not to cause any backlash from other spectators. More than that, you're trying to save yourself from drama. You have known them since your birth but they're the farthest from you. Even an acquaintance knows more about you than they do. I'm talking about your closest relatives; your kith and kin and if I'm being honest, I don't have a bond with any side of the family.
I sometimes envy people who are close to their relatives. There was a time when I and my family were close with my relatives. But flimsy bonds don't survive the test of time. It hurts sometimes though and makes me wonder if I had a close bond with them or if I had a different set of relatives. For what it's worth, I'm glad I'm distant with them. If that saves me from unnecessary drama and headaches then it's fine by me. I'm not painting a pretty picture here. There is no pretty picture to paint but I'm not someone who throws dirt at other people. And I'm not blaming just the opposition - everyone is a villain; including me.
If you throw a rock at someone then be sure to get hit by a rock - which is why I put a lot of pebbles in a basket and throw them in the air.
There's no point in a blame game. I might be a villain in someone's story and I'm unaware. But what I'm aware of is that I hate drama and gossip - everyone else seems to love those. After creating countless dramas and chaos, the distance that we created was inevitable. You know, life is a stage and everyone is an actor; the drama never stops. The drama continues behind the stage and often at different stages. Sometimes I'm an unwilling participant, sometimes a supporting character and sometimes I'm playing a protagonist or an antagonist role. There is inconsistency in my placement. Regardless my attendance is required.
Previously I said everyone's a villain - even yours truly. I try not to stir up any trouble but I haven't been known to just sit with my mouth shut. So whenever one finger is pointed toward me, I point all my fingers right back. I also believe in accountability which is why I don't cause trouble - if you cause trouble, trouble will also find your way. But this is something not everyone believes in and creates such a mayhem that blows out of proportion. That leads to bringing scissors and cutting off people from our lives. It's harder than it sounds. As long as they're alive and you're too, you'll hear about them or meet them occasionally for the sake of formalities.
The drama lives on.
