The Pursuit of Nothingness.

in #hive-1976854 days ago

This post has nothing to do with the amazing movie released in 2006 but my experiences in recent times. And this is also not one of my typical posts with my alter ego, about some random stuff. These are just some words that popped into my head as I wrote.
Nothing to do with the year ending or the new year resolution.
Nothing to do with the mistakes I made or the plan I drafted.
Nothing to do with anything that matters. This is a post about nothing in particular.
These are just words that are passing by.

Source
“Do I have a point to make in this post, you ask? Maybe, Maybe not. I feel like Morpheus asking Neo to define real. Maybe it is the drugs that the nurse pushed into me through IV. Most likely its the pain meds.
Oh! Yeah, the pain. Its gone. For now. I read somewhere that there are people in this world who like pain. How can someone enjoy such misery? Its no fun. How can some enjoy a constant discomfort in their physical body, the urge to claw out your own body to check whats causing the pain? I know science can explain what happening, how a bacteria can multiply and form a colony. How they all release toxins and cause tissue damage slowly, insignificant at first, Your mind won't even acknowledge the change. And suddenly one day there is a need for a doctor.
Its funny, You go to the person, you probably meeting for the first time and tell him or her about your problem. And you are completely ok being naked in front of the stranger if they ask for you to undress. You tell them about the problem that you are experiencing but unable to explain. While they touch and check you. How is it possible, that I am unable to comment if its a burning sensation or a stabbing? The pain is there but is it radiating from a point or all over the place? This is funny, I am hearing echoes in an open space.
Everything that is happening can be explained through science. But I do not have the time to science. The medicine is effective I can tell. I lost the sensation in the left thigh muscles. And I want to lie down and look at the lights. Ah!! Light, the source of life and everything on this planet. I know the pain will return. It will be around for Hours, maybe days. If I am one of the unlucky ones this could last months or years. This is going to be hell. Ha!! As if we have seen hell. It always fascinates me how we compare things to something that we never experienced. I mean nobody has seen hell, but they still compare their worst situation to Hell. Or heaven for that matter fact, you guys are pair made in heaven and the next thing you know they are getting a divorce and filling court cases at each other. Nobody knows what the hell looks like. I should never compare my situation to hell. I will know hell when I get there. But If I go to Heaven, I will never know hell. Or is there a Hell in the first place? So far it's fictional land.
Wow!! The medicines are amazing. Not only does it take away the pain but also my ability to focus on things. I should be worried about the bills but I think it's been years since I relaxed like this. Maybe this is why people take drugs to escape reality. The sad thing is drugs become a reality. A new reality where you have 100 + 1 problems. I should be focusing on healing, financials, and making sure this doesn't happen again.
That begs the question, how can one focus on multiple things? Or better phrasing if a person is able to do multiple things is he really focused? What is really focusing on?
I feel like laughing. There is no reason for me to laugh at this point. But I feel like laughing. This should not be happening. I should be serious. But I think its the medicines. But why would a pain medication make you laugh? I think the science can explain.”


Source

THE END

Please don't take this post seriously. I am ok.
Although I have some health issues. It is not as bad as my imagination. I will be fine.
I wish you all a very healthy and Happy New Year.
May this Year bring the things we are looking for into our life.
Still don't know what that means.

As always, spl thanks to IndiaUnited and BeAwesome community for helping me out.

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Bhai kuch nhi bas dimaag kharab ho rakha hain mera

Bhai bahut gajab ho aap.
Pura post padhkar lagta hai na jaane kya ho gaya, kya chal raha hai life mein, bhagwan kare jaldi se accha ho, etc.
Aur phir aakhir mein aap kehte ho ki main thik hoon ye bas imagination hai.🤔
Ab bhai sach kya hai ye to aap hi jaano par hum to chahenge aapki health ke sath baki sab accha hi rahe. Naya saal aapko bhi Mubarak ho waise ye saal bhi kamaal ka teacher raha hai mere liye to. Ummid hai agle saal sab padhe huye par acche marks bhi aayein. 😊

Bhai kahan se shuru kare abhi.
Health issues to hain, back pain to 6saalon to tha abhi pata nahi ye stomach ka problem aaan pada. Office gaye 3 din ho rahe hain. Dedh saal pahle bhi hua tha, pure 3mahine dawa chali phir theek hua. Abhi wapas wahi sa problem aa gaya. Pahale se jayada. Dawa kha raha hun aur pada hua hun. Dard kam hain bas discomfort itna ki neend nahi hain 4 dino se. Doc bhi bol rahe dawa kaho theek ho Jayega, bas unki baat pakad kar chal raha hun.

Ye reply bhi hospital se doc ke waiting mein kar raha hun.

😔

I don't know if people enjoy chronic pain but there's some self-inflicted pain that's kinda fun (like the kind you get when you're doing some form of exercise and pushing your limits) and there's the other kinds.

Drugs can do some interesting things to your brain.

If you feel like sharing when you sober up, what happened D:

I have been in and out of the hospital in the past few days. Caught a stomach bug and it is not going away without a fight. Docs have been nuking my body with antibiotics but the effects are slow. I have no other way but to suffer through the Pain.

Well, It looks like my New Year plans involve doc and lab tech doing unpleasant things to my body.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and the family.
I should have opened with that instead crying 😅

That's not ideal O_O but better than some alternatives. Do you know what caused it so you can avoid it?!

Crying is completely understandable! Hope you get better soon and everything improves from hereon :)

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