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Even in the quiet time of the night,in the darkest corner...I still always saw you.
With my vision blurred and my lips matted together,I could not think of any other face and name than yours. It was like a reflex or sort of a default setting,your face would always come up whenever I was left alone.
It wasn't the constant touch I felt on my skin only for me to look in the direction I felt it from and see noone,nor was it the echo of your voice laced with pain and horror.
And now,whilst I stay seated on the ground,in the farthest and darkest corner of the room,I can still hear it. How you sounded that night,how you begged to be saved and cried to be held. My eyes watered,there was nothing I could do to make you feel different.
I still remember the way your hands trembled around the knife you held in hopes to use to take your life. You were sad and afraid but was brave enough to end it all. Was that what it was called? Bravery? It was brave to try and end it all just by yourself and not just waking up every morning and hoping to be taken away,for your life to be taken away. It was brave to grip the knife with so much intensity,you bled without meaning to.
I watched you cry and heave,trying to catch your breathe cause it felt like were going to die from suffocation instead.
And on that particular day,it finally happened. What you've been in want for and had gone down on your knees to pray for,had finally happened. You were no where to be found. There was no one for me to study or just stare at and admire. The pandemonium you feared had occured in your life was wrecking and tearing you apart. Oh,my sweet Poseidon,how far you fell.