𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓫𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻
Beyond The Looking Glass is the second book in the Unseen series, a story that came to me from the other side. A story where I thought I was just the narrator until I heard the Words of the Unseen.
This second story goes beyond time and place and mixes the long ago with the here and now. Because history keeps repeating, until we learn and do something about it.
Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 74
Another thing that Grandpa made very clear to me was that my ego was working against me, plus that my family, my blood, came first.
What was not clear to me then, was that my Ego was not quite what I expected.
When I thought of ego, I mainly thought of my arrogant know-it-all self, a personality that I thought I had left behind me.
I wished I had....
Ego is a person's sense of individuality or self. Or rather the mind's attachment to identity, pride, and the illusion of separateness from others and the universe.
Ego, when overly dominant keeps us trapped in materialism, fear, judgment, and self-centered thinking.
Does this sound familiar?
Looking back it does. Yes, I had all exists covered, but did I know it all?
Ego and Self-Identification at the Root of Ignorance and Spiritual Blindness.
If I had dared to take that long hard look at myself in the mirror back then when Grandpa told me, I might have seen EGO staring back at me.
But I got it all wrong from the start. My definition of Ego sucked, even though I indeed included: materialism, fear, judgment, and self-centered thinking.
I had it all backward, and I did not see the multiple forms possible because I was caught up in my self-centered thinking.
I was like, what fear I am fearless.
Or at least more fearless than most.
I moved out of the house at 18.
I tried the craziest shit.
I got up on a huge ass stage and made it work.
I moved to another country letting go of my comfort zone.... what fear?
Backward, as I said.
Fear and No Fear are two sides of the same coin.
I thought I had no fear, but in truth I was afraid of failing. Things kept working out, but at that stage, I feared judgment.
Actually, I feared judgment all the time. Not from the crowd but from those I knew and loved.
Backward again, as I thought judgment referred to judging others but I now see that judgment was all about how I was judging myself.
I judged myself to be a loser who was winging it.
Who kept flying by the seat of his pants.
If I had looked harder in the mirror of my soul I would have seen a little boy standing next to EGO.
The boy hid as he never thought he was good enough, he had no clue what good looked like.
My Ego issue was not that I felt too good for this world, which I thought at first was what EGO meant.
I did not connect the dots.
It was that the little boy inside me had no clue what good looked like and therefore allowed EGO to put him down.
My erroneous initial struggle was with an EGO I did not have.
Which makes it a terrible opponent and a freaky difficult test.
The strange thing is that while Grandpa told me about EGO, my marriage did not really help me break free from that insecure little boy... on the contrary.
I was the man, so to speak, and I had to provide the money. Find a job in a country where I did not even speak the language.
Small white villages in the South of Spain are wonderful to visit during holidays, but looking for work there is a different story.
My hours with my parents-in-law and her allowance were just enough if we didn't make excessive expenses.
In reality, however, this was different, unlike your author, Deliah loved a bit more luxury.
And since I did the bookkeeping and always found a way to make ends meet, she must have thought that all those extras were fine and I could make money appear out of thin air.
We made a trip to Italy for a wedding, went a few weeks to the Netherlands every year, and did not buy a regular computer but an iMac.
On top of that, we did something that did not help at all. In that little white village, I had some contacts that could help me find some odd jobs.
That option became obsolete when we moved to a beautiful house on a mountain in the middle of nowhere. It had lots of space and land, but with the first neighbors about a 45-minute walk up the mountain.
So while I was trying to battle an Ego I did not have I started feeling more useless as this splendid isolation ensured that even odd jobs would not find me anymore.
Next Chapter Coming in Two Days
Post Related To Closing Book One and Opening Book Two
The Closure A Personal Story With A Soundtrack:
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 1
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 2
The Closure - Greatest Hits For A Never-Ending Story:
Greatest Hits From My Book "Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen"
The Closure - Alice in ArtWorkLand:
ALICE In AI ArtWorkLand - A Crazy Man´s Revelations