𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓫𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻
Beyond The Looking Glass is the second book in the Unseen series, a story that came to me from the other side. A story where I thought I was just the narrator until I heard the Words of the Unseen.
This second story goes beyond time and place and mixes the long ago with the here and now. Because history keeps repeating, until we learn and do something about it.
Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 80
My Splendid Isolation served her well for always pointing out that it was my fault.
For making me believe it was normal to keep talking until something was resolved.
Which meant that at some point I had to state my mistake and admit my guilt. Only then was I free to leave her room where she locked herself most days.
At that time, 70% of her life was spent in that room, a Hotel California, where I entered and more often than not could not leave at my accord.
Did she ever apologize? Maybe, just maybe in the early years, but during those last few?
And maybe this was my lesson, this was meant to break my EGO. I was forced to look inside for the root cause, instead of feeling the need to defend myself by pointing my finger at everything but me.
As she was not to blame at all, I realized that the only thing I could do was take a good hard look at what I could improve.
To then come up with an apology anyway, so I could continue my day in peace.
A person can keep that up longer than you think. But never forever.
There comes a night when everything bubbles u, where those last remarks are the Mentos in my bottle of Colap.
Instead of spraying a sticky fountain I threw the newly bought tea mug with full force against the stone tiles and the words left me before I knew what I was saying:
"I could kill you," words that steam up from the purest frustration I ever felt.
Words, not followed by any physical action but with so much suppressed anger that they hit harder than a fist or a kick.
Had she been pushing my buttons for all these years to witness this moment?
Or was she really shocked?
I left her room and was not summoned back till the next morning.
After very little sleep it was a bit late but I still planned to go to work. I did not as she had decided otherwise.
She had drawn a different conclusion; I was having a burnout and should see a doctor, today.
Oh, and madam had contacted my two best friends in the Netherlands last night to let them know what threat I had made.
Isolation is fine until it isn´t I guess.
The whole situation had me too beaten up to resist.
Not for a moment did I feel burned out, but because my Spanish was supposedly poor and I thought resistance was futile, I let her play the doctors and sell me a burnout.
Getting out of the house was what had kept me sane over these last years, my refuge. My work life was what gave me a little self-confidence and stability.
Now that I was losing that last bit of freedom, project Isolation must be almost complete
This was the golden opportunity.
It started with rest and pills, but the Lorezapam made me way too happy so she told me not to take them as I responded weirdly to them and only to take the antidepressants.
Now, I was not the most flexible guy when this relation started out but as you just read. I learned a lot and bend over quite a bit...but I ain´t stupid.
Those Happy Pills were quite nice, they took the edge off my painful disillusions. They allowed me not to think too much, but to enjoy the things I still had. The good weather, the pool, and some time to pause, look around, and think.
The first thing I thought was fuck those antidepressants. I am a lot, but I am definitely not depressed and surely not burned out. But now that I have the label let´s make the best of it.
This time off was a blessing. Even though it sometimes felt like days crawled by, time itself blew by faster than Hurricane Katrina.
I existed to:
manage the Workawayers,
maintain the house,
the garden,
the pool.
To have my son,
my son's breakfast,
his homework,
and backpack ready by 08:00 AM.
To walk the dogs in the morning,
manage the finances,
cook and shop for groceries,
and make sure there was always enough money to do just a little bit more than our budget allowed.
I know, those were the day-by-day basics, not including work, planning trips, or organizing festivities.
And yes a single parent has the same stress,but also the ability to arrange all those things the way they like it and not having a CEO of the house overlooking and determine every single task and process.
While also demanding quality time and care.
Click The Next Button for The Next Chapter
Post Related To Closing Book One and Opening Book Two
The Closure A Personal Story With A Soundtrack:
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 1
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 2
The Closure - Greatest Hits For A Never-Ending Story:
Greatest Hits From My Book "Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen"
The Closure - Alice in ArtWorkLand:
ALICE In AI ArtWorkLand - A Crazy Man´s Revelations
