𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓫𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻
Beyond The Looking Glass is the second book in the Unseen series, a story that came to me from the other side. A story where I thought I was just the narrator until I heard the Words of the Unseen.
This second story goes beyond time and place and mixes the long ago with the here and now. Because history keeps repeating, until we learn and do something about it.
Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 84
As I said before Dear Reader, I still have many doubts.
Why him and what was the meaning of this message?
What was the way?
What is the way?
It should be clear that no marriage that can barely avoid the reefs reaches the safe harbor without damage.
The harbor where we both disembark, wave one more time, and then go our separate ways without looking back.
Oh right, my doubt, there are so many.
Why were my guides slowly replaced by other entities?
Why was it her dog and her own guide who had to communicate with me in those last years?
Why did those who had been there for so long have to leave?
Why did my friends have to be informed about the fact that I could no longer continue in the current way?
Why were Workawayers invited to an audience with tea and cake where below the murky waters of the conversation negativity was spread about me?
Why did she invite her father to help us during a trip to Madrid when she knew that I just asked my best friend for help?
Why was I never allowed to leave the room where the argument took place to calm down?
Why was I forced to remain in that mounting tension until my thoughts were frozen and I didn't care anymore?
Why did I have to go to a psychologist to prove that I was autistic?
Too many things happened to dismiss them as insignificant.
In addition, I also might see things through victim colored glasses.
I mean, yes I was always the one who said sorry, but maybe that was right.
Yes, I worked too much to cover all the ever-increasing costs, but I could have been stricter.
Yes, I was stressed and had no outlet, so I am willing to believe that my already boundary-pushing personality kicked against a few sacred cows here and there during those years.
But always with words.
I see a lesson in everything.
Or try to see.
But why do you keep someone captive in a room and force him to stay until you decide that the situation is resolved?
Is that powerplay, meant to break the other?
Is that because you want to resolve something as quickly as possible at all costs?
Or was I being played with?
The latter only comes to me now that I am writing this.
Till now I always thought of it as her domination game, but what if this was a lesson from myself? That through my guides or possibly by placing Deliah on my path I have chosen to break the resistance that I carried inside me since birth?
The ego, the third leg as Grandpa called it, and told me to cut off. The internal storm, always demanding oxygen, but was denied all fresh air until it gave in.
Because I gave in.
I stopped resisting, if only for the sake of peace. I didn't want to spend the weekend arguing while my son waited downstairs for Mom and Dad to finish their "talk."
Spiritually it was my hand that put her in my life path.
Did I force myself to stay in that room while wanting nothing more than to leave it and slam the door?
Or did she have her motives?
What were her motives for sending me to a psychologist?
Was it really that an Asperger's diagnosis would ensure that everything she saw as a problem in our relationship had an explanation and could be attributed to me?
What was she looking for?
What did she see in me that she considered autistic?
My difficulty with changing a plan at the last minute?
That I like to know what is coming.
It´s true but I always organized everything. Covered all risks, had a plan B, and came prepared for the worst-case scenario.
That stems from past experiences and her expectations of me driven by her chronic illness.
And yes, I like to think I am in control even though I know we are never in control.
Oh and in bed, yes I have trouble with the fact that she plays with my nipples and that I very quickly get ticklish.
Yes, maybe my nerves are a bit sensitive but don't tell me that I don't want to be touched. I do, but in the right way.
Or that during sex I have my preferences, yes I love to play with and feel her soft belly and I do get excited when I push against her big buttocks with my... magical branch.
Look, I've always been open about my preference, and sure there must be a psychological reason for it, but I just like a woman with lots of curves.
I find it beautiful, attractive, sensual, and wonderful in bed.
This does not mean that I do not enjoy the rest, or that in bed I am only looking for my own pleasure because I cannot put myself in the other person's shoes.
It´s true that sex has always been a very physical thing. Looking back I never really felt truly one with her, with no one really.
I read about being connected and sex being a shared experience, maybe I wasn´t able to open up. The goal was always that damn orgasm, for both of us.
Not that I complain, the physical sex was wonderful, at least at first. It was all I had ever known, but it was not what I thought it should be.
It was never about being one, being connected, merging.
Next Chapter Coming in Two Days
Post Related To Closing Book One and Opening Book Two
The Closure A Personal Story With A Soundtrack:
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 1
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 2
The Closure - Greatest Hits For A Never-Ending Story:
Greatest Hits From My Book "Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen"
The Closure - Alice in ArtWorkLand:
ALICE In AI ArtWorkLand - A Crazy Man´s Revelations
