𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓫𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻
Beyond The Looking Glass is the second book in the Unseen series, a story that came to me from the other side. A story where I thought I was just the narrator until I heard the Words of the Unseen.
This second story goes beyond time and place and mixes the long ago with the here and now. Because history keeps repeating, until we learn and do something about it.
Beyond The Looking Glass - Words of the Unseen - Chapter 85
She attributed our growing lag of intimacy to my autistic tendencies.
There is no need to deny my diminishing need to be intimate with her, but that stemmed from something completely different than what she suggested.
Next to the fact that our relationship did not encourage my need to be intimate, there was a more logical explanation.
A child, a job, working overtime, housework, and caring for a chronically ill partner do not allow a lot of time to be spent freely.
Adding that to the scenario where being intimate is all about an orgasm, a simple hand movement takes less than five minutes.
The good thing about not working was that I finally could think things over.
The more I thought, the more questions surfaced.
Especially after what the young lady psychologist had told me earlier.
She had been very clear, it wasn't my fault. She would have happily continued with me if she hadn't been at the same clinic on the other side of the wall.
On the other side of the wall, there was somebody who came for help as she struggled with her current life which was dominated by her illness.
To me, that sounds like a bigger problem than my so-called burnout, and yet this lady felt it necessary to talk mainly about me during the past five sessions.
It did not make sense but I started seeing a pattern.
Talking about me, directing, and influencing things.
What did she do when our Workawayers came to have tea with her?
What had she tried with my best friends?
What was she doing on the other side of the wall?
She put so much energy into influencing public opinion regarding me, but why on earth?
The lady had been clear, find your own place, away from her?
At first, I thought just another psychologist.
Now I had this sense there was more as if away from her had to be taken literally.
Or was that my imagination?
In retrospect, what basis did our marriage really have?
Why were we in such a hurry, was it my urge to prove myself as an adult man?
In eighteen months we got married, had a child, and moved to a new country.
On what basis?
A year together?
How well did I know her when I married her?
How well do I know her now?ç
Have I been that self-absorbed all these years, that it feels like I hardly know this woman who has been my wife for ten years?
What made her tick?
I had my plans, my dreams, my book, and my jobs.
She had her paintings, and later on her writings but who was she really?
What made me fall in love with her other than the physical stuff?
That she accepted me like I was?
That she saw my potential?
That she was a conduit to my guiding voices?
That she liked video games?
None of those tell anything about her.
Who was she?
Her fears, her pain, her wishes, her shame....
Did I love her smile?
Her way of seeing the world?
Did hearing her laughter make me happy?
Maybe I have forgotten, but right now it felt as if we were on a mission. As if we had something to prove, to complete. We were a great team, you need a great team to accomplish all those things without any financial stability.
Then once we arrived at our destination, we tried to make it work. We had our little boy, our small catering business, our plan to make it in the south of Spain.
But what connected us?
What was our dream, our bubble, our plan?
What made her happy, what was important to her, I feel bad admitting that I do not know and that I accepted the status quo.
Accepted that we were on a mission, always on a mission.
To get my career started, to find the right house, to have a new car, to prepare for a holiday, a Christmas, a birthday, a trip.
When did we pause?
When did I look up at her and smile, just smile because all was good?
Did I ever stop, look, and think about who she really was?
How strange that so many things now seem to be a mystery.
I mean why did she go to the Netherlands with a wheelchair, come back without it, and leave me?
Sorry, I am getting ahead of myself, again.
Let me start at the end.
Deliah went to the Netherlands.
In the Netherlands she went to a healing, if I may call it that.
A stand up and walk event as I like to call it.
A gathering of losers who all have something and think that a gentleman or lady on a stage can help them with their ailments.
Yes, I laugh about it, and at the same time I know that I can remove a headache with just my hand.
Therefore do not think that I do not believe, but believe that I am skeptical.
Anyway, she went.
She stood up and then didn't sit in that wheelchair anymore. She was healed, or at least felt a lot better than she had done in years.
Deliah came back to Spain, the wheelchair stayed in the Netherlands. I never understood this. Even if you feel better, why do you leave that wheelchair behind?
Even if it was her way of making a statement, declaring yourself healed. You could have at least sold the wheelchair.
I find it strange, not inexplicable, but strange.
Not nearly as strange as the explanation for her miraculous recovery.
Next Chapter Coming in Two Days
Post Related To Closing Book One and Opening Book Two
The Closure A Personal Story With A Soundtrack:
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 1
Personal Story With A Soundtrack - A New Adventure - Part 2
The Closure - Greatest Hits For A Never-Ending Story:
Greatest Hits From My Book "Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen"
The Closure - Alice in ArtWorkLand:
ALICE In AI ArtWorkLand - A Crazy Man´s Revelations