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Part 1/9:

The Long Tale of Netflix Trolls: My Four-Year Adventure

It’s hard to believe that a single corporation could have such a dramatic impact on someone’s life, but in my case, Netflix has truly been the source of relentless trolling for the past four years. Before diving into the details, let me clarify: I’m grateful for the opportunity to even be associated with such a Mega Corp, but the subsequent events left me scratching my head, wondering just what was going on.

I invite you to join me as I recount this petty tale filled with unexpected turns, legal risks, and a bit of cringe-worthy humor.

The Documentary Invitation

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Four years ago, I received the exhilarating news that I was to be featured in a documentary about get-rich-quick schemes. My excitement was palpable; I’d be on Netflix! As I eagerly awaited my moment on camera, I signed the necessary releases, preparing to share my insights. Just as I was gearing up for my big break, an email arrived that would change everything: they deemed my segment too legally risky and decided to cut me from the show.

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Imagine the frustration of not getting to tell your family, “Hey, I’m going to be on Netflix,” only for them to hear crickets instead. It felt like a cruel prank from a billion-dollar corporation. Admittedly, they extended an olive branch by offering credit in the show, which I accepted, but it did feel somewhat empty knowing I wouldn’t actually appear on-screen.

The Autoplay Phenomenon

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Fast forward to the show's release, and I encountered yet another way Netflix played with my emotions. In the listing, they placed my credit to play just after the autoplay feature, rendering it almost invisible. I attempted to take this in stride, regaling friends with humor about my situation by proclaiming "as seen on Netflix" on my social media channels. After all, laughter is the best medicine, right?

However, just a couple of days ago, I found myself bombarded with messages from family and fans alike, all exclaiming, “Did you know you’re on Netflix?” My heart raced as I wondered, What had I missed?

A New Show and Confusion Reigns

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Upon investigating, I discovered a new documentary titled A Big Heist, where I apparently reappeared—not once, but twice. However, there was a twist; I had no recollection of filming for this show. Was there an invasive bit of memory erasure involved? I had to dig deeper.

With some sleuthing, I learned that the documentary followed the case of Razzlecon, a woman whose story made her a meme after being arrested for money laundering. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place; I had made a video about her on my channel, Coffeezilla, but I had never licensed any footage. It dawned on me that they must have used it under fair use, which, fair play to them, fits within their legal rights.

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But here’s the kicker: four years ago, I was considered too risky, yet now I was part of a project alluding to internet phenomena without even being notified.

The Cringe of the Internet Detective

As I began to watch the documentary, I was filled with anticipation. Perhaps, I would finally appear as the hard-nosed detective I had envisioned—someone uncovering the depths of financial fraud with gravitas and sage analysis. Instead, I was confronted with the undeniable reality: I had been showcased as the “cringe detective” of the internet.

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The documentary depicted me in a seriously produced narrative, yet there I was, reduced to an analysis soundbite that read: “It’s so bad that it might be good.” To make matters worse, I was shown lamenting Razzlecon’s cringe factor, stating she should be incarcerated purely on the basis of being “unbearably cringe.”

It’s equal parts tragic and comedic that this was my Netflix introduction.

Reflections on the Experience

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All the while, I was left questioning, why the highlights of my analysis depicted some of the dumbest things I’ve said? Instead of showcasing my graphics or meaningful contributions, Netflix framed me in a way that felt more like mockery than acknowledgment. It was disheartening to witness my identity shaped through a lens of cringe rather than the expertise I aimed to project.

This whole experience embodies a strange blend of humor and frustration, and while it might seem petty to harp on it, I can't help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all. It serves as a gentle reminder not to take ourselves too seriously—after all, when your friends tell you they saw you on Netflix, the last thing you might expect is to be laughing at yourself rather than relishing the moment.

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In the end, I hope this story provides a chuckle and perhaps encourages you to appreciate your own experiences—no matter how cringe-worthy they may seem. After all, even when life's little (and not-so-little) trolls come your way, it’s the laughter that truly counts.