ok. time to spill my heart
again...
i face a slight dilemma. there's a girl in my bed.
its been 5 years since i had a girl in my bed.
she's asleep
and im thinking about killing myself.
how fucked up is that?
over something miniscule.
a broken phone.
a lost email address.
.001 btc.
but most of all, for the fact that there would be someone to report my death, before the cats ate my face
see, i dont have much, finances wise. i live off $18k aud/y
i live in subsidised rental
and i STILL can barely afford to eat.
ironically, i joined this platform, because, knowing what its like to go without, and then seeing the shit go down in venezuela, i thought
i need to do something. i need to be able to make a change in these peoples lives.
so i bought in on hive.
full ape
$4 per ( steem sorry, not hive)
just so that i could send money to those that are struggling.
fk me.
i dont have family.
barely any friends.
i dont bother mesaging people anymore, because, if i get a message, and i reply WITHIN 1 minute, and then get left on read, for hours, days, weeks, months. . .
i get that 'people get busy' but some really? EVERYONE? every single friend i have/had, is too busy, to pick up the phone, once, in 5 years, to call me?
ask how am i going since the death of my last family member.
and THATS why i hate social media
its anything BUT social.
people assume that, because u posted within the last month or so, that you must be ok
you might find
however
that they are not fine
that they just want someone to ask how they are, and ACTUALLY WANT to know the answer, as opposed to making idle conversation.
so many women ask
'where are all the good men?'
"in your DM's, STILL on red"
contemplating going up the road to pick up a pingpong table
that i have no use for
but the drinking friend ( i dont drink, and have requested they dont drink here, several times, only to be ignored)
but i cant say 'dont come over anymore' because he's kinda in the same boat as me, and has noone.
and i KNOW the reason he drinks.
its cos his ex wont let him see his kids.
brainwashing them to hate him.
i was meaning to do a post, with full statistics, on how many men each year take their own lives
over something preventable, like shared custody.
remind me again how women arent treat as 'lesser than' when they are PAID to have babies
and not have the father around
hell, the way things are going, i think we ALL are gonna choose the bear at some point.
also, can anyone explain to me how gym pants, in the supermarket, is 'empowering' EVEN if u weigh 300 pounds, and i can see your cameltoe
but a 100 pound MAN, in bike shorts, WITH a bike, is 'the epitome of grossness' ?
