The first time I saw the words on the screen of my phone I thought I must be imagining things. The next time the words You deserve the best appeared on the upper left corner, I took a screenshot to prove I’m not going crazy. Still, I was mystified. I mean thanks for acknowledging that I deserve the best but I’d really like to know who you are. Earlier today, I looked it up and it turns out it’s just a campaign my mobile provider is running in order to promote some gadgets that would make your life better. So much for feeling special and getting a mystery message from the Universe.
The words still pop up on screen every time I want to use the phone and this got me thinking. Someone reminding you that you deserve the best is important on so many levels I’ll just ignore the marketing campaign behind those words.
Whether they acknowledge it or not, many people struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. Such people often feel they don’t deserve anything, not anything good that is. Should anything good actually happen to them, they didn’t deserve that and the Universe will undoubtedly put things right.
I am one of those people. For the first time in many years, I have the opportunity to do something I like, study things I’m passionate about and read more books than my poor eyes can go through. By all accounts, I’m in a good place yet I cannot escape feelings of dread. Something bad will surely happen to me. On a cognitive level, I know I’m doing the right thing, but on an emotional level I’m full of self-doubt. In a book I was reading a few days ago, I found these feelings described as perfectly natural when going through a phase of transformation. It’s a time full of anxiety, persistent doubt and worry. Knowing things does little to assuage negative feelings so having someone remind me I deserve the best was nice and timely.
At the same time, I’m going through an episode of back pain that affects various parts of the body, making it difficult even to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Last night, I ditched the memory-foam pillow which has been such a comfort to me over the past few years. The discomfort is most probably weather-related as it has been raining for hours, a vicious autumn drizzle. During previous flare-ups I did a bit of research and it seems the changes in atmospheric pressure cause this sort of problems in people with a bad back. Nothing to worry about. This, too, shall pass.
However, I was reminded I need to show my body some consideration at this time. Yesterday I found it difficult to read in my beloved rocking chair, so today I used a cushion to prop my book up and relieve the strain in my neck. It’s such a small thing to do, if you think about it. It is also the difference between being proactive and succumbing to the victim mentality. I know various people who would much rather complain about their lot in life instead of making the smallest, most insignificant change to feel better. Those are the people who cannot integrate the feeling that they deserve the best.
As I’m trying to do what’s best for my aching body at this time, I’m considering the unthinkable - taking a hot bath! Don't laugh, I’m more of a shower person and sort of a maniac when it comes to buying the most fragrant shower gels.
If you asked me what I have against taking a long hot bath, I’d say I don’t have the patience for that. Patience is not one of my virtues, but maybe there’s more to it. Deep down, I find taking a bath a waste of time, time that you could use for more meaningful things. Even as I write this, I know it’s a lie as I can easily list many other activities that are a waste of my time. For instance, I’ve discovered a daily word game which takes about 15 minutes, let’s say. That’s a time I consider well-spent as it helps keep the brain sharp. What if I would extend my normal shower time by some 15 minutes and take a hot bath? Does my body deserve an extra 15 minutes of pampering? After all, a long hot bath is guaranteed to soothe aching muscles and joints. I guess You deserve the best applies to the body as well.
Thanks for reading
All images are my own.
