Hive is my happy place.
I come here to write the stories floating in my head.
Some of those stories are happy. Some make you think.
Where have the stories gone? One might be thinking.
It's been quiet here for so long.

I, too, miss the stories that have yet to be written. They made me feel whole.
For the first time in my life, words made it to paper.
The stories were not lost.
Ideas, art, and concepts were slowly being laid in place.
Everything happened in this beautiful place.
Friendships were formed. The family was made.
I was seen as I never had been before.

I made my own roadblocks with the story's progress.
Fear is real no matter what you are told.

I held on to my happy place and still do through it all.
The stories are still there, waiting for their time to shine.
To keep this my happy place, the writing had to stop.

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A few more adult tasks need to be done throughout the beginning of this year.
Watchman will be watching. Eyes will become clear.
Mama Bear is slowly waking up.
Homes are being nested in while the weather is ice cold.
New routines are being made while juggling the bouncing ball.
Life is coming back to her eyes.

I have learned the art of not thinking too deeply.
I have become great at distracting my brain.
No deep thinking allowed.
Calendars and lists filled with appointments have been the norm.
Learning to live two lives has been challenging.
There are cracks everywhere.
To those that have fallen into the cracks...
I AM sorry.

If all goes well, I will get some much-needed rest in two days.
If I make it on the plane, tears will be shed.

I am tired.
I am spent.
I am empty.

Past me was smart enough to make a plan.

I am holding my breath.
I am waiting for the shoe.
Shhhhhhh.

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I believe in engines strong enough to get my bum up in the clear air.
Just a rest is all I am asking for.
A readjusting of my mental state.
It is not too much to ask for.

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