LOLZ Weekly Joke Challenge - Help Build A Hive Based Joke Database and Earn $LOLZ

in #lolz3 years ago

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Week 9 Of the LOLZ Joke Challenge Is Here

Welcome to our 9th LOLZ Joke Challenge where you can share a joke you know and help us build our joke database for use with the LOLZ token. Our last challenge was awhile ago so we hope everyone has lots of jokes stored up to share.

The Tasks

  • Tell us a joke in the comments. 1 LOLZ
  • Re-blog this post, and tell us you did in the comments. 1 LOLZ
  • Tag a friend. 1 LOLZ

All rewards will be distributed via the drop bot in the comments so be sure to leave a comment even if you only reblogged the post and don't feel like telling a joke.

If we select your joke to include in the database, we will reward you with an additional 5 $LOLZ, and include you as the source for the joke (unless you prefer to be anonymous). Post as many jokes as you like, and earn an additional 5 $LOLZ for each joke selected for inclusion.

What We Are Looking For

Any joke can be posted and earn an $LOLZ, although we ask that you stay Safe For Work.

To be selected for inclusion in our database, your joke will need to be -

  • Clean. LOLZ is kid friendly. Please, no dirty, racial, or potty humor.
  • Short. We prefer jokes with short setups and punch lines.
  • Funny! Or at least Punny.

Your joke does not to be original. Any joke you know will do.

Lets get this party started!

Come on people... MAKE US LAUGH!

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About LOLZ Token

LOLZ is a Hive engagement token with the mission of spreading laughter and joy on the Hive blockchain. And while the LOLZ Project may have a sense of humor, it is no joke.

LOLZ is the world's first "Proof of Humor" token and is mined when LOLZ holders use the !LOL or !LOLZ command in comments to share a clean joke and tip the author a freshly minted LOLZ token.

Help Support the LOLZ Project

Here are a few ways you can help the LOLZ Project.

  • Use the !LOL and !LOLZ command often to tip fellow Hive authors.
  • If one of our jokes makes you smile, consider giving it an upvote! All rewards will be staked to help cover Resource Credit costs for the bot and increase curation value.
  • Follow @lolztoken and participate in our airdrops, contests, and giveaways.
  • Delegate or donate. Hey, we aren't too proud to beg. If you have some extra Hive power you can spare consider delegating it to @lolzbot, or use the link below to donate Hive.

Sort:  

What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine?
A slowpoke!

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside.

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.' - Jerry Lewis

!LOLZ nice one! !DROPLOLZ 8

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@netizen01 - You received a 8.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Thank you.

Elevator jokes are the best
They just work on so many levels.

Credit: reddit
@netizen01, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (13/10)

Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.

I have re-blogged post.

@ijat Tag your it.

Awesome! !DROPLOLZ 8

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@darmst5339 - You received a 8.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

@masoom
Reblogged
Upvoted
Shared on twitter

Thanks! !DROPLOLZ 2

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@hafiz34 - You received a 2.0 $LOLZ airdrop.


The rewards earned on this comment will go directly to the person sharing the post on Twitter as long as they are registered with @poshtoken. Sign up at https://hiveposh.com.

There is a big shortage of nickels in the world, but I got all mine for five cents.

!LOLZ

What do you say to comfort a friend who's struggling with grammar?
There, their, they're.

Credit: reddit
@mineopoly, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (14/10)

Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.

One in four frogs is a leap frog.

I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

I own the world's worst thesaurus. Not only is it awful, it's awful.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

What do you call an ant who fights crime? A vigilANTe!

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Why are snails slow? Because they’re carrying a house on their back.

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.

Got that one too.

Did you hear about the rancher who had 97 cows in his field?
When he rounded them up, he had 100!

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Chuck Norris once went on a bicycle ride
and accidentially won the Tour de France.

Credit: blumela
@lolztoken, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @pablodare
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (4/8)

reblogged
have a look @noblesky
joke: A: "Knock, knock" B: "Who is there?" A:"Delivery" B: "What you deliver?" A: "Rihanna's new LP"

My Dad said, always leave them wanting more. Ironically, that’s how he lost his job in disaster relief.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.

What do kids play when their mom is using the phone? Bored games.

What’s the smartest insect? A spelling bee!

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for six years.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

You know it is going to be a bad day when the letters in your alphabet soup spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $6.30 now.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant!

Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict. I hardly ever visit Syria.

What kind of tree can fit in one hand?
A palm tree!

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Why did two 4s skip dinner?
Because they already 8!

What’s the best part about teamwork?

Someone else to blame!

Reblogged and tagging @tfranzini

!LOLZ

That is so true! !LOLZ !DROPLOLZ 8

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@luizeba - You received a 8.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Why does Davy Jones never bend his knees?
Cause they're always Kraken

Credit: reddit
@luizeba, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (17/10)

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.
I thought it was a nice jester.

Credit: reddit
@lolztoken, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @luizeba
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (6/10)

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

Reblogged! !LOLZ

and !DROPLOLZ 5 for the second joke.

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@arpuch - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

!LOLZ We will accept both. !DROPLOLZ 5

A taxi driver was getting flirty with a woman in a bar.
At the end of the night he took her back to her place.

Credit: reddit
@arpuch, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (11/10)

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@arpuch - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

I sent my girlfriend a 'Get Better' card.
She's not sick, or anything - I just think she can get better..

Credit: reddit
@lolztoken, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @arpuch
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/10)

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates.

Nice! !DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

Why did the orange lose the race?

It ran out of juice.

!LOL

What do you do with a car whose wheels are completely worn out?
You re-tire it.

Credit: reddit
@lolztoken, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @belhaven14
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/6)

Nice! !DROPLOLZ 6

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@belhaven14 - You received a 6.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

"Why don't vampires get involved with blockchain?

Proof-of-Stake terrifies them."

Thought this one up myself. Tagging @tanjakolader and also reblogged.

That is awesome! !LOLZ !DROPLOLZ 7

The word queue is ironic.
It's just q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

Credit: reddit
@rarej, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (1/10)

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@rarej - You received a 7.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!

Reblogged

!WINE
!PGM

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@imno - You received a 7.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Who changes the season when Summer is over?
No one, it happens Autumnatically.

Credit: reddit
@imno, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (15/10)


Congratulations, @imno You Successfully Shared 0.300 WINEX With @lolztoken.
You Earned 0.300 WINEX As Curation Reward.
You Utilized 3/3 Successful Calls.

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WINEX Current Market Price : 0.300


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Sent 0.1 PGM tokens to @imno, @lolztoken

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Support the curation account @ pgm-curator with a delegation 10 HP - 50 HP - 100 HP - 500 HP - 1000 HP

Get votes from @ pgm-curator by paying in PGM, here is a guide

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I'm a bot, if you want a hand ask @ zottone444

How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor 😅

Perfect! !LOLZ !DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@anderssinho - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

What do cheaters do after they die?
They lie still

Credit: reddit
@anderssinho, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (16/10)

If you arrive fashionably late in Crocs, you’re just late.

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? A. I don’t know and I don’t care.

Not sure if we have this, so !DROPLOLZ 5 just in case.

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn’t opened so I knocked.

One of my favorite musical jokes:
Joke 1: What happens when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
You get A-flat minor

Here's another:
Joke 2: Did you hear about the guy that invented the knock-knock joke?
He won a "no-bell" prize!

Be glad I didn't submit 10 of these (I actually thought about it...)
Joke 3: I told 10 different puns, hoping that at least one of them would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Reblogged, @torran you should check this out, knock em dead

The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

How do people make new mates? Asking for a friend.

Why dictator dosn't take it cryptocurrency?Because people take to it.
reblogged
target @ryoudo

My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue – completely pale, no arms.

My wife told me: ‘Sex is better on holiday.’ That wasn’t a nice postcard to receive.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with shellfish?
An oyster bunny!

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Why do bees have sticky hair?
They use honeycombs.

Already have that one.

Why did the soccer player take so long to eat dinner? Because he thought he couldn’t use his hands.

This is the story of two grains of sand that arrive at the beach:
"Damn, it's crowded today ..."
Tag @gestion.alive
Reblogged
!LOLZ

lol

!LOLZ nice one. !DROPLOLZ 8

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@servelle - You received a 8.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar ?
He was best in his field .

Credit: reddit
@servelle, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (10/10)

I have an addiction to taking inventory at the blacksmithing shop.
We all have our vices.

Credit: reddit
@lolztoken, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @servelle
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (6/10)

Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.

I know you are looking for jokes in English. However, I think it would be a good idea to build a database with jokes in other languages, specially Spanish. There are tons of Hispanics from Latin America and Spain here in HIVE. For that reason, I'm going to suggest one joke in Spanish. If it doesn't do, I'm adding another one in English. So, first in Spanish: "¿Cuál es la fruta más risueña? ¡Pues la Naranja ja ja ja!". Now in English: "Why cats are so good in Videogames? Well, they have 9 lives!"

)

No? Oh, well... I tried. I already reblogged your post! Take a look @cjlugo and @urkanon! Thank you for this initiative!

Thanks for the suggestion. We are considering that for the future, but we will need some help since we don't speak Spanish we wouldn't be able to judge the jokes. And we will take the cat joke !LOLZ !DROPLOLZ 8

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@cpol - You received a 8.0 $LOLZ airdrop.

Wow! Thank you so much! You are so generous! Well, I hope you can do it soon! I'm humbled for taking that joke. It's not mine, though! Let's say, it's some anonymous joke!

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad.

Credit: reddit
@cpol, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @lolztoken
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ. (12/10)

I was thinking the same thing. I love how words that sound exactly the same mean entirely different things in another language. I also would like to brush up on some simple Spanish jokes.

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

!DROPLOLZ 5

What is better than a kick in the teeth?
An LOLZ Airdrop!

@marshmellowman - You received a 5.0 $LOLZ airdrop.