My Wartime Diary. Day 56

in #mywartimediary3 years ago

It has been a while. I did not write for many reasons. I felt anxious before the surgery. Then the post-op period. Only 2 days. I'm fine. And today I worked online again. But in cannot fill emptiness and displace the cold in my soul.

Mariupol. Maybe it's their last hours. Warriors who have no equal, the bravest, the best.

Another 42 localities are occupied today.

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No matter how much we do, no matter how much we tell ourselves that this is all that can be done - THIS IS NOT ENOUGH!


😡 Putin is not alone in committing his crimes. There are those who help him. In Europe and the United States. For example, Danieli in Italy is helping Putin and his oligarchs keep Russia in their hands and re-equip the Russian army! While this weapon is killing people in front of the world.

😡 American and British law firms remain in Russia and are actively helping russian companies circumvent sanctions that are already weak. Only 4 companies withdrew from the Russian market. Hundreds are still there.

😡 BBC: "Only third of UK's £220m humanitarian aid delivered by 1 April
Commons international development committee chairwoman Sarah Champion said she was "shocked and disappointed" that less than £60m had been disbursed."

😡 No sanctions have been imposed on Russia's largest banks. Sanctions on small and unknown banks are considered a remarkable achievement.

😡 Russia is still in the G-20.

😡 Ukraine has not received any planes. But apologized.


It's simple and obvious. After the defeat of Ukraine, Russia will launch an aggression against a NATO country, and then you will have no choice but to get involved in the Third World War.


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P.S. I took these photos in the center of Kyiv last Sunday.

P.P.S. And I was going to write about something else. But I couldn't. Sorry.

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I have been reading the news since yesterday and I had no words except silence. I don't know what to say and the whole world is just watching... :( The situation in Mariupol is really upsetting and disappointing...:(

fter the defeat of Ukraine, Russia will launch an aggression against a NATO country, and then you will have no choice but to get involved in the Third World War.

I think many people are still blind and they can't see the reality...

I think many people are still blind and they can't see the reality...

This is everyone's choice.

For sure, some just don't want to know.. Some know but don't do anything...

Many people are completely brainwashed by Russian Trolls and their disinformation campaign on Social Media.

Prayers for Peace in the Ukraine …

May the evil Russian invaders be destroyed.

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It's an unfortunate reality that the missery of war tends to make the most unscrupolous opportunists rich, and that it more often than not goes unpunished. For instance the richest man from Norway – widely considered to be one of the least corrupt countries in the world – build his fortune by being a war profiteer shipping oil and ignoring sanctions, during the war between Iran and Irak during the early 80s. Now he has changed his citizenship to Cyprus to avoid having to pay taxes here...

When it comes to Russia's banks both Sberbank and VTB (the two largest ones by a far margin) are both sanctioned hard, as far as I'm aware? Also the international funds of the Russian central bank are still frozen, as far as I know? And all of them are shut out of SWIFT?

Even if I fully understand that the sanctions against Russia and contributions to Ukraine might seem insufficient, they are still unprecedented in history. Switzerland sanctioning Russia is pretty insane for instance, as they've been neutral for like 300 years, and didn't even sanction the nazis during the 2nd world war. Similarly countires like Sweden and Finland, that kept a very clear neutral stance during the cold war have turned on a dime, and Norway where I'm from changed the policy it's kept since the 2nd world war regarding only giving humanitarian aid. You also have countries like Luxemburg, a state with less than 1/4th of the pre-war population of Kyiv, shipping what they got of weapons to Ukraine. Germany reverting it's post-war policies by doubling it's military spending over night is maybe most surprising, as well as being willing to abandon nordstream 2. Basically all geopolitical pieces have been shaken and thrown up in the air, which is what Putin does – he's pretty much a geopolitical gambling addict, which is extremely dangerous, not just to Ukraine, but to the whole world.

To be clear, I don't think this is purly based on alturistic goals by NATO members. I actually think NATO leaders and members are well aware that the war needs to be won in Ukraine by Ukrainians, and that it shock them to the core just how deteriorated and inefficient the Russian military has become. This is because they know further attacks into NATO territory is inevitable if Russia were to gain control of Ukraine, and that in turn would lead to NATO troops massacring the Russian army – which pretty much is like hitting a fast forward button to nuclear escalation (compared to if it was more of a fair fight).

The steps taken by countries that were previously neutral are truly impressive and respectful. The list of sanctions is also unprecedented. I agree. But the point is that Russia circumvents sanctions, and it looks like one hands takes, another gives. Actually, ordinary people show their support more than officials in some countries.

Sberbank and Gazprombank are not disconnected from SWIFT. Banks transfer foreign assets of their clients to foreign brokers. Even disconnection from Visa/MC did not have the desired effect, because Russia had previously violated their requirements, and this was known. Russia's revenues from gas and oil sales are still high. Germany is taking steps under constant pressure.

I agree my post is very emotional, but it's because I crave peace for my country. And every hour I ask myself what else I can do where I can be most useful. For two months now I have not stopped thinking about it. I read every day about new agreements and achievements, but I'm not even sure if the end of the war is near. It makes me desperate. The pain that I feel when I see my city, my country in fragments, in rubble, in anti-tank ditches and trenches, when I hear stories I can't share with anyone, is unimaginable. I sincerely do not wish anyone, anywherer to know it, ever .

Here, another detailed post how international business is arming the Russian army. You can use google translate.

https://www.epravda.com.ua/publications/2022/04/22/686100/

Nick sent me a video tonight about Thales and their system on tanks and what did it do to a car with civilians in Bucha.

Thanks, I will check it out. The arms industry is a dirty, dirty business – so unfortunately I would not be surprised at all to see some trying to profit from both sides of the conflict, if they get a chance. 🙁

Nothing wrong about being emotional, especially when you're in the middle of it. Feeling pain, desperation, hate, and powerlessness doesn't mean any of those emotions defines who you are or how you need to act – even if it feels like it's going to stay that way for a very long time. You seem to be well aware of that at some deep level though.

I truly think it's extremely impressive how well you seem to handle the situation you are in. If I didn't think so, I would probably have tried to word my last comment a bit more carefully, as it's a fine balance to strike – discussing geopolitics and big picture stuff can understandably seem extremely cold, callous, and removed from reality, when you're confronted with the immediate horrors that's happening in Ukraine right now. To be honest I wouldn't have blamed you at all if you answered my last comment way more aggressively than you did.

I will have to check out how the SWIFT diconnection for Sberbank and Gazprombank have (not) been working more closely. You are completely correct that there are a lot of different interests at play – and you will always have individuals, companies, investors, politicians, and criminal networks, not just in Russia, but also in the West, that will take advantage of the war and larger scale consequences of it. The world is a messy place, and humans are even more messy... 😕

Thanks for the heads-up, and hope everything goes well with your recovery after the operation! Greet Nick when you get a chance, and wish him all the best as well! 🙂

PS. Spring flowers are blooming here in Norway as well now! 🌸

Thank you for all you've said.
The war exposed so much that I was not interested in before, I did not want to be upset once again. I said to myself - can I influence the situation? And now I just have no choice.

You are doing an amazing job and I think you have a larger impact than you might realize yet. Just through your blog posts and collaberation with hivebuzz, you are doing more than anyone could expect from you. I just hope you manage to take care of yourself as well – self-preservance is not a cirme. 🙂

Oh, my beautiful friend. How nice to read and hear from you. I am glad that you have successfully come out of your operation.

I am so saddened by your words, I know you say it with all the feeling and nostalgia in the world, and at the same time with so much fear. The world is blind to so much barbarism, they do not make believe that they give support, but they lie, they always lie, they make believe pure falsehoods. I tell you with knowledge of cause, for all that has happened during 23 years in my country and every day is in more decadence, what you read of normality is totally FALSE! That demon Putin is going to pay dearly and ALL WHO SUPPORT THE CRIME HE COMMITS.

I pray to God for the whole world. I pray to God every day that passes for you and all your people. Kisses and blessings my friend... 💖

In your words, pain for your country and love of it. You feel me. Thank you, dear @dayadam 💙💛

So glad that you are doing okay after the surgery! 💜 It is sad to hear that many are helping the aggressors. Despite what our governments do, many of us still stand with you! Blessings to you and Ukraine!

!LUV !LADY

Thanks for your care and support, dear 🤗 I tell myself every day - good people are more than bad.

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As for Ukraine not receiving any planes, I can actually shrug that one off by saying "being able to shoot down planes is more important here than Ukraine being able to fly her own. Russia's invasion force doesn't really present many targets for a fighter jet." Perhaps Ukraine should schmooze up to Israel a little and see about a few Iron Dome batteries? They're kind of the final word in short-range missile defense and they've got a pretty good record against aircraft as well.

The rest though? Yeah, the rest is a disgrace. I'm ashamed of how little my country (and all of NATO) is actually doing.

Iron Dome is really cool. Hewever Israel don't have a war on tgeir territory.

Russia's invasion force doesn't really present many targets for a fighter jet.

I can be wrong, as Im not a.military person. But here I disagree. Military jets are an opportunity to hit long-range targets and many.

Military jets are an opportunity to hit long-range targets and many.

They are, but in the current theatre of war, Russia isn't presenting any that could be easily hit by a jet but not by something else. What Ukraine needs more than jets is more ability to shoot them down (anything with the words anti-aircraft in its name). Jets would have been great to have BEFORE the invasion, when there were still a large number of airfields from which to launch them.

My military knowledge is about a decade out of date, but that's the way it looks to me.

You are definitely better informed than I am. In any case, I trust our military, which negotiates and asks for weapons. All I have left is hope.

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No matter how much we do, no matter how much we tell ourselves that this is all that can be done - THIS IS NOT ENOUGH!

Так.
Але, що буде, якщо ми заженем себе докорами за "слабкіть" в хворобу? кому від цього буде краще? Хто крім нас подбає про коханих? дітей? батьків? Чи зможемо ми допомогти країні чи їм, якщо майже не будемо спати і будемо думати тільки про страхи війни?

Не забуваєм про відпочинок. На боротьбу і помсту нам треба багато сил.

Я стараюсь, і не виходить. Стає тільки гірше. Таблетки не допомагають. Я наче в пастці. Хочу як раніше, цілими днями щось робити із волонтерами, так я не мала часу думати і спала вночі. а мушу працювати. Не уявляю, куди діти одні і ті ж думки,, особливо вночі 😞

Є цікаве дослідження за 2017 рік. Там замість сеансу психотерапії респонденти щодня 25 хвилин грали в тетріс. Результат був не на багато гірше ніж психологічна консультація. Можна загуглити деталі

Крім цього є багато різних вправ на дихання, де основне завдання акцентуватись на ньому роблячи видих свідомо довшим.

Мене спасає йога, пранаями і досвід. А починав я з бігу (тут підійде будь-яке дозоване фізичне навантаження). Варіант розвантажити розум через тіло - найлегший і найправильніший.

Є "вишукані" техніки через самонавіювання. Можна постійно повторювати собі "стоп фрази" коли не виходить справитись із навантаженням. Наприклад, "соберись тряпка", "зі мною все добре, я в безпеці" що більше підходить.

А взагалі, операція/наркоз під час війни це ще той стрес. Треба дати собі відпочити. Можна дозовано - пішов прогулянки, свіже повітря і МІНІМУМ НОВИН.

таблетки краще знижувати дозу і припиняти. Вони гарні в короткостроковому використані, а у нас, нажаль, все не на тиждень...

Наркоз я якраз добре переношу, і заживає на мені швидко. А от решта.... Пробувала стоп фрази, дихання (скачала VOS), візуалізацію, Candy Crash, цілу таблетку замість третини (я їх кілька тижнів не пила). Сьогодні спробую хоч якусь фізкультуру для "верхньої частини". Заодно зігріюсь. І так, сьогодні я від ранку без новин. Сподіваюсь не зірвуся )

На рахунок новин - взагалі молодці!!! Зараз це гірше наркотика, оновлюєш сторінку раз за разом.

Як із книгами? Можна спробувати відволікання за допомогою ЦІКАВИХ фільмів і книг. Перед сном може спрацювати.

Оце дуже точно щодо наркотика. Ти розумієш, що це не правильно, що це шкодить, але чомусь продовжуєш. Найважче це відірватись і зібратись в кулачок.

Вчора на ніч читала інструкції від ліків ) Книгу поки що не знайшла підходящу.

Дякую за коментарі! Приємно з кимось поговорити 💙

Книгу - Будь-яку художню із цікавих...

1984
Лезвие бритвы - Єфремова
Таис Афинская - Єфремова
Чайка по имени Джон Левингстон - Ричард Бах
Иллюзии, или Приключения Мессии - Ричард Бах
Альфред Бестер «Тигр! Тигр!»
Собаче сердце Достоєвського
Кайдашева сім'я - Котляревський

Те, що і дійсно цікаве, іна згадку прийшло відразу.

Дякую, цікавий список. Дещо з цього читала.

Може справді варто пошукати художню книжку, а то ті дві, які я читаю, на навколонаукову тему.

Prayers for Peace in the Ukraine …

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It's great to hear that you are doing well after your operation, please make sure you spend time to look after your own well being so you make a speedy recovery.

I sense your frustration with the situation and imagine that is echoed through out the country , hopefully there will be improvement after the US visit.

Take care

After watching the Russian assault get slapped around like a redheaded stepchild and nine attempts of theirs fail with even more humiliation.

Then you have a deleted City that Putin now has to try to save face while ordering his soldiers just to bottle them up. Because he knows they can't take one steel factory.

Just like this entire thing has been botched and don't forget Russia is losing citizens at a phenomenal pace and even more are now getting thrown into this meat grinder.

Yes supplies getting to the front are slow to be collected consolidated shipped across oceans. And then even when they are delivered now we have another problem of getting them to the front lines.

It is a race between the munitions coming to the front line as well as the Russian advances with the extra freed up troops.

Personally after the threats of nuclear war Russia needs to have sanctions in place until the nuclear stockpile has been completely dismantled and handed over.

The only good news is the massive amount of ordinance Russia is expanding has depleted all of their stocks and unless they're going to send shovels to the front lines next they are looking like they're going to be running out of ammunition here pretty soon.

Let's say a prayer.

I said prayers all night.... Tried to breath, to pray, to sleep...

Russia has several times more soldiers and weapons. And they have many military plants. But I also want to believe in the best.


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To support your work, I also upvoted your post!

Good to hear from You!
And I know You're right...
And that's about everything - not just a part.
My Prayers are with You,
Stay Safe!
🙏🏼🇺🇦🙏🏼🇺🇦🙏🏼

Просто хочу Вас обняти і підтримати! Ваш пост відображає і мій стан! Злість і безпорадність! Поки хтось грає в політичні ігри, наші найкращі захисники віддають свої життя тільки за те, що мають ідею, честь та сміливість! Ті, хто зараз в Маріуполі, ті, хто на сході - кожен з них вартує 20 резервістів. Поки ми чекаємо на допомогу - гине ідейна військова еліта! І кожен день питаю себе - як можу зробити більше... Коли безпорадність перемагає - я іду на сторінки тих людей, які кожен на своєму фронті щодня ведуть боротьбу! І приклад цих людей дає сили! Бо я знаю - той хто день і ніч боронить свою батьківщину з думкою про мене і сина повинен мати надійні тили! Тримайтеся! Всім серцем! Не дивлячись ні на що! Вірю! В Україну!

!LUV

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