Stories

As a little kid, my dad was exhausted after work. He didn't have time to read us any bedtime stories. He did have a small repertoire of stories he told us from memory.

He also had a large record collection. I would sometimes look at the covers of the records, but I wasn't allowed to play the records. I could only hear them if my dad played them. It wasn't until years later I found that the source of his stories was actually comedy albumns that he owned.

The Three Little Pigs

The first was an adaptation of the three pigs. At that time we were three brothers and he called each of the little pigs by name. He said how three dirty little pigs lived together in a tiny apartment with their mom and dad. Each day these dirty little pigs would leave their toys lying around and their clothes on the floor and never clean up after themselves. Worst of all when they used the toilet they wouldn't bother to lift up the toilet seat.

As time when by their parents were fed up with them. Their mom discussed this with their dad and said,

"What are we going to do with these little pigs? I'm tired of sitting on a sticky toilet seat."

So they decided to pack up everything they had and move far far across the street to her mother-in-law's house. They knew the children would never venture that far for they were not allowed to cross the street.

Over time the children noticed something was different at home. There was no one to clean up after them or cook food for them. They looked in the refrigerator and there was nothing to eat. They became hungry and wild and the house became even more stinky.

Then there was a ring at the door. It was...

the big bad landlord

They didn't answer the door.

He began to yell,

"Little pigs. Little pigs. Let me in, the rent is due."

The little pigs didn't know what to do. So they just told him the truth,

"Our mom and dad are not here. Come back another time."

The big bad landlord did just that. He came back the next day pounding on the door. He yelled,

"Little pigs. Little pigs. Let me in, the rent is due."

The little pigs just laughed and laughed because the landlord couldn't get in. They had double locked and latched the door.

The next day the big bad landlord was even more angry. He came with a bolt cutter and cut the latch. He stormed into the house demanding,

"Little pigs. Little pigs. Where is my rent money?"

The little one looked up and the landlord and said,

"wait a minute please."

He then did something he never did in his life. The littlest tiniest pig took of his dirt smelly socks and placed them in the big bad land lord's hand. The smell was so strong the land lord could do nothing but run away.

And the moral of the story is:

"Always walk softly, but carry a big stink."

This is my dad's version, but there was an original. My dad got the story from one of his record albums.

Does anyone know which record this was?

I hoped you liked the story. I will share some more of my dad's stories from time to time.

He is legend.

Love,
@mineopoly