I've been experiencing some conflict in relationships these last couple of weeks. I sat here and searched the depths of my soul for insight about where to go from here. I drew a card that said, "Release the need to be right." When I saw these words, all the pieces of each conflict fell away right before my mind's eye. Each scenario fell in upon itself, and the entire game changed.
I didn't realize that my entire stance was about being right. I had to make things right; I had to make them fair. But that couldn't happen from the premise that I was coming from that other people were behaving wrongly and I needed to correct it.
Release the need to be right.
Much of the conflict that we experience happens because we're being Behavior Police. It's not a productive framework in relationships. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why we're constantly always doing it because it is a thankless game that never has a positive outcome. From the framework of needing to be right, there's no end in sight. What ends are we working toward? When we think of the resolution to conflict we always see one person owning up to their mistake and asking forgiveness while the other person wins. Then we hope that the offending person changes their behavior. There are some cases in which that's appropriate. Most conflict is two damaged people trying their best to get their needs met bumping up against each other.
It's a worthy thought to entertain: Release the need to be right. What happens when you ask yourself if you're trying to be right? And what happens when you ask yourself what would happen if you release the need to be right? I'm just telling you - things fall away. A whole different paradigm comes into view. Try it!