JUST ONE WORD CAN DESTROY KID'S PERSONALITY: A STORY

in #psychology2 years ago

Kids are like a sponge. They are influenced by EVERYTHING that surrounds them, especially by parents, their deeds, words and relations with kids.
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I've read one short story that has touched me greatly. It's very thoughtprovoking, and I wanna share it with you, Hivefam.

This story was written by Viktor Dragunskiy, and it was studied at schools by previous generations. Now it's still in the school program of students of the 4th form. But the sense of this story is explained to kids absolutely differently...

What do you think of it?

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When I was walking home from the pool, I was in a very good mood. I liked all the trolleybuses, especially that they all were so transparent, and you could see everyone who were inside. I liked the icecream ladies and the fact that they were so cheerful, and I liked that it was not hot outside and the breeze cooled my wet head.
But especially I liked that I have taken the third place in the butterfly style and that I will tell it to Dad when I come home - he was waiting so long when I would be good in swimming. He said that all people had to be able to swim, and boys especially, because they were men.

I was in a hurry to get home, and when I entered the room, my mother immediately asked:
- Why are you shining like that?

I said:
- We had a competition today.

Papa said:

— What is it?
- A twenty-five-meter butterfly swim

Papa said:
- So how is it?
- Third place!

Dad just blossomed.

- Well, that's great!

I knew that he would be delighted. My mood was even better then.

- And who took the first place?- Dad asked.

I answered:
- The first place, dad, was taken by Vova, he could swim from the early childhood, so it was not hard for him.
- Oh yes, Vova! So, who took second place?
-And the second place was taken by a red-haired boy, I don’t know what his name is. Looks like a frog, especially in the water.
- And you are on the third?
Dad smiled, and I was very pleased

- Well, the third place is also a prize, a bronze medal! Well, who is on the fourth? Do not remember?

I said:
- Noone took fourth place, dad!

He was very surprised:
— How is that?

I said:
- We all took third place: me, and Mishka, and Tolka, and Kimka, we all! Vovka is the first, the red frog is the second, and we, the remaining eighteen people, we took the third. That's what the instructor said!

Papa said:
"Ah, that's it... Everything is clear!...**

And he started reading his newspaper again.
And for some reason I lost my good mood
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I was so glad to know that there are such instructors, who know how important is to support all kids, not only winners, and how much the reaction of people on their failure influences them. And he transformed their failure into the 3rd place. Wisdom!
It's just a short story, but even I felt pain for this small boy because of his Dad...

And do you know how this story is told to modern kids?
Teachers explain that kids must avoid praising until they don'y know if they have reasons for it.
Shock.

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Good one, although I think competition shouldn't be encouraged at all by teachers. No first, second, or thirds, just the joy of swimming Life is competitive on its own, no need for more of that.

You came up with really a good point, thanks for sharing. Actually, There are a number of reasons parents destroy their children's self-esteem, the point you raise is significant.

Never Praising, Some parents who do not believe in praise because they believe that it softens makes them arrogant and think too much of themselves.