A match made in heaven?? Sure why not? Right? Well I love love, it's just quite unfortunate that we don't really get to see genuine love these days. Although they aren't extinct, they aren't just common.
My first knowledge about what love should be started from my parents. Right from when I became knowledgeable, I knew how I want to be treated by my partner from how my dad treats my mom.
Growing up, I'd say that I had the perfect childhood. I have parents whom I did not ever see fight. You know my parents started life in a condition that will test the genuinity of love and true intentions.
My daddy was at his lowest and my mommy stepped in. I saw a man who wasn't insecure about his wife's progress and then I saw a woman who did not lose her femininity because at one point in her marital life, she became the breadwinner.
Growing older I thought, what did this two do differently, how did my mom hold on for my dad and not crack? It did hit me eventually, they had understanding. Those two get and understand themselves a lot. They tolerate each other's flaws and fill in the absence of the other.
At the time we were still tender, my mom just started with the religion that we currently identify with. At that time, the religion was trying to gain ground in Africa so there were basically a lot of religious seminars across various African countries. Trust my mother, a typical religious Nigerian woman never to miss out on any of these seminars.
While my mommy was shuttling the continent in search of God and doing His work, my daddy was holding the home front. He Nursed us, did school runs, cooked for us and made sure that we were clean and tidy.
Then, whenever my mom would get back, which was usually late at night, my daddy would go pick her up and bring her home no matter how late it was. Those were really interesting childhood memories for me and thinking about it now, it makes sense with my stance on love.
My daddy did not give my mommy the if you love me, you will tolerate me bullshit because he kept pulling his weight and my mommy never for once looked down on my dad because she was more privileged to finance. They both worked their way in sustaining the home till my dad could take the lead.
Does this mean they don't have their differences? Of course they do and I got to learn of their disagreement when I came of age. I was a teenager but they trusted my judgment. I became the third party in their marriage and boy did I learn the hard way not to get involved in husband and wife matters.
The whole lesson occured back then when I was still their go to person for conflict resolutions. Whenever I get called or I miss a phone call from one parent and another parent is following up with a call, I get ready to play judge.
I basically became their King Solomon but like I said, it backfired because they both used me to settle. After their disagreement, quarrels and listening to both sides, if my daddy is wrong I'll tell him. I'd point out the part he got wrong and then he will proceed to apologizing to my mommy on my request.
But on this particular argument, my mommy was the one at fault so I told her, "mommy you did wrong, you shouldn't have reacted the way you did."
"What do you mean?" My mom asked sternly, in the coldest of ways. I could have read her expression and just shut it but no, I wanted to prove a point without minding I was already getting on my mom's nerves.
"I mean, dad didn't do anything wrong, you were the one who misunderstood the whole issue and blew things out of proportion. You need to apologize". I had concluded but my mom wasn't having it as she thundered, "are you ok? Is it me you're talking to like that? Apologize for what exactly?" Men! The whole thing went from 0-100 really quick with my mom giving me a stern warning never to tell her that she's wrong again.
Seeing how tense the whole atmosphere was, I went into my room, got dressed and headed out to my friend. I had wanted to move on from the whole incident so I asked my friend to accompany me for some ice-cream of which we had a good time.
Later that evening, I got home and tried to sneak into the house by moving swiftly through the kitchen door but it was locked.
I had wanted to just sneak into the house unnoticed and head straight to my room without crossing paths with my mom. I can't tell if she was still angry but I wasn't about to find out.
Seeing my plans to go into my room unnoticed failed, I decided to go through the sitting room. I had tiptoed and took a peak from the far end window that is close to the gate. I wanted to know if my mom was in the sitting room so I can know the amount of courage to summon before going into the house.
Surprisingly, I did not only see my mom seated watching Tv, I saw her with my dad. They were both watching the evening news while sitting and snacking. My mom seemed to be having a good time as she was laughing so hard and occasionally fell on my dad's laps.
I was glad that they settled their differences. So I adjusted myself, got into the house, greeted and headed straight to my room. Just when I thought that I was off the hook, I heard my dad authoritatively yell, "come back here!".
My heart jumped and I could literally hear the rhythm of my heartbeat move from normal to super speed. I walked to where my parents were,greeted them again but this time, my face was bowed down. I couldn't even look at my mom because I knew she was still mad at me. I just stood there and waited for them to decide my faith.
Next my dad was telling me, "apologize to your mother". I honestly didn't expect that from my dad and I felt betrayed but I did apologize anyway. To further please my mom, my dad made it clear to me that no matter what, my mother is always right and even when she's wrong, I should always take her side irrespective of who's involved because she is my mother.
As my father was giving me the pep talk, I took a glimpse at my mother who put up the perfect act like she wasn't in the room with us. Her eyes were fixated on the TV as she munched on her biscuits. Did I feel offended? Of course I did but then I learnt. I learnt understanding and never to get involved when couples fight.
