I've heard a lot of people say how we're living in a generation of weak men. You know that cycle that goes around with good times creating weak men. Not that ours are times to write home about, but you know what I mean. In many respects, we're better off than ever before.
I was out with a girlfriend the other night, just down at the local bodega, catching up and talking football, like we do. When all of a sudden, this random guy sits himself down on the opposite side of our table. We were sat on the same side since the other bench was broken. And this guy just plops down. Doesn't even look at us, let alone say do you mind. Anyway, it was pretty late and we couldn't tell if he was drunk or something, so we quietly agreed to leave.
At which point, the four guys at the table next to us cut in and start yelling at the guy. They were 2 dads in their 40s (50s?), with their two sons who were probably a little younger than us. Just catching up over beer. And the dads just start in on this guy, berating him for being rude and bothering us.
Now, my friend and I are fairly non-confrontational (especially when it comes to woozy strangers acting weird), so we said thank you but we were leaving anyway. Well, the dads would have none of that. They said sit back down, of course you're not leaving. He's the one who should leave.
Long story short, the guy got up and left. He was very rude in that he hardly even looked at us even when these guys cut into him, but all in all, it ended alright. We of course said thank you to those guys and dutifully sat for another 15 minutes or so. Couldn't very well leave after they'd gone to all that trouble.
After we left, my friend and I got talking. We were both pleasantly impressed, saying how a lot of younger guys these days wouldn't have done that. Hell, you see enough men not defend their own women, let alone someone they're not personally affiliated with. "The age of chivalry is dead" ain't just empty words.
We also figured they were setting a great example for their sons. We were sat close enough for them to notice the rando barge in, and I was just thinking, if the fathers had just ignored it while the sons recognized the wrong there, then the sons would go away thinking "oh we just keep our heads down in this kind of situation". A very different message.
Interacting with fathers, I'm always mindful of how they treat women. It's always particularly unpleasant when I see a man treating a woman poorly and knowing he has sons at home, because those are the "values" he'll pass on to the next generation.
I remembered once, when I was babysitting for this family. I was at home with the older boy, and the dad came home with their youngest son (about 3-4 at the time), and the little boy came in and brought me flowers. It was the kindest, sweetest thing, and I remember thinking well that's a good example to set for a young boy in regards to women. If that family would've instead treated me as paid help, a female underling or something of that nature, that image would've automatically passed to the boys, but they didn't.
It's incredible to me how much these little things matter. Those dudes could've walked away from the pub the other night none the wiser. Not even acknowledging the missed opportunity to provide a good example. Who knows, maybe three years from now, those boys will be out and, in a similar situation, intervene.
And I know people like to twist that around, they say oh it's women's fault that men have become terrible. Except women got "shitty" 'cause men were for so long, so that's not exactly an argument. I'm sure there's some extremist so-called feminists out there who'd get angry at a man for defending them like that, but most women probably wouldn't. So you know, saying "oh I won't be chivalrous anymore because women are bitches" is just code for "Imma be a jerk from now on".
It's your choice. The education of future generations has always been in our hands.
