THE ART OF FUCKING UP

Growing up in a "middle class" family I approached life with a lot of caution. I was taught to avoid trouble so much that it became instinctive to do just that; but nobody knew to tell me that trouble sometimes, if not often, finds and seeks you out itself.

Since as far back as I could remember, I replaced "class" with "information". I just had a problem with what the word class implied in the context.

It sounded like unattainable and not for you. So I demystified it. By my definition we have the upper information, middle information and lower information.

Meaning the upper class have better information, the middle class have half-truths and the lower class have very little or false informations to run life on.

After I renamed it information I had better clarity on the difference between them and I took it upon myself to seek information and embrace learning as an integral part of my life.

As a kid I never considered myself a middle class even though my family could not have some things provided easily. I saw myself rather as a upper class In spirit and mind as long as I embraced information even if I was middle class physically looking.
_{I don't know if that makes sense to you}

So I started to chose friends early in life; not by class but by their wealth of information.

It really didn't matter what current class you belonged, to me. I knew that some people are men of yesterday, some are men of today but my goal really was to be surrounded by the men of tomorrow.

But as you know, falling and rising are an important part of life and you really can't escape it. However, we stay down longer than each other. I struggled so much with making mistakes and losing while growing up. I just felt things deeper.

I became very concious early even when I was a kid. So I knew the effect of making mistakes from a middle class family perspective.
The problem with being middle class is that you are literally one mistake away from being lower class.

So I struggled with forgiving myself when I made everyday life mistakes and oversights like spending unwisely, not doing great in exams and literally everything common to man.

I had a bad habit of going back in my head and asking the "what ifs" instead of learning, unlearning and moving on.

This crippled me from moving forward a lot of times and it slowed down some of my healing processes. Indeed I struggled with it until recently.

But one day I suddenly realize that we can have just so much information as individuals but never all and Mistakes are rather our encounters with informations we are not versatile with. Problems we do not have ready answers to.

From that day I understood that all of life was a problem but we just had answers to most through prior learning. However, it was fine to learn the hard way and I would not have made certain mistakes if I indeed knew better.

In life, it doesn't matter what class you belonged. You will be sought out by trouble from time to time and sometimes in an unfamiliar way. But you shouldn't beat yourself up for making wrong decisions, embrace and learn from it.

You will never be immune to error, maybe you will make less as you know better; but you can always start again intelligently without taking the stand of failure.

Would you then judge yourself harshly as unwise or you merely lacked in knowledge?
I realized most of us are good students of bad teachers. We would do better if we had better information and teachers.