What influences our decisions? What factors go into making some kind of significant life choice? What information do we choose to gather? And are those factors internally referenced, or externally referenced?
I find myself pondering this, mostly in light of the impending Presidential election here in the US. How do people arrive at their choices? And is it by ostensible logic or something completely different? Rumors? Intuition? Messages from God? Gut feel? Psychic powers?
From an early age, I was taught the importance not only of getting lots of information before making any important decisions, but on getting information about the sources of your information. If your sources are biased or incomplete or outright incorrect, then so will be your decision making.
My father subscribed to both the "left leaning" and "right leaning" newspapers when I was young, and determinded his own "leanings" through a pretty long process of looking at all sides.
If there is one thing I am grateful to my parents for, it would be the ability to think for myself, independently of "popular" opinion. I remember my dad often giving me "what for" if I came up with something I wanted and it was because "that's what someone else has/says."
But it's still really tricky to make an informed decision because we live in a world where so much information is deliberately manipulated so as to coerce the information seeker to be manipulated into making choices that aren't necessarily wise, or in their best interest.
Whip people into a frenzy of emotion and outrage and they become easy targets for making stupid choices in the heat of the moment.
That was something else my dad taught as a lifelesson: If you feel suddenly pumped into an impulsive rage over something, it is time to step back and examine why you feel that way, rather than simply "act out," based on what you're feeling in the moment. Moreover, try to approach important issues from the perspective of being a blank slate, rather than with your mind already made up.
No wonder I never really heard/saw my parents fight; instead they just had intense but courteous and respectful "discussions."
Of course, you have to be willing to consider reality through an authentic lens of what truly matters to you... not just get swept up in mob mentality.
We give a lot of lip service to wanting to be informed, and to wanting to make wise choices... but sometimes it feels like our very biology is working against us!
Look no further than the divorce rate!
About 50% of marriages end in divorce. But even though there are psychological algorithms that can predict the success/failure rate of two people wanting to get married with more than a 90% accuracy, people broadly reject the science and go with their heart/gut feel, instead.
The human ego says "I know better" than empirical wisdom. We all want to be the exception that proves a rule.
If you think about it, most people would reject the idea of a body of evidence picking a "happy life partnership" for them, even if they were offered a 95% guarantee of that.
It's not romantic!
It feels like WE are not in charge!
I remember having a long conversation with someone who's very close to being a "professional debater" — as well as a skilled psychologist — and she pointed out that most people place "BEING right" above a "right OUTCOME" in a discussion.
Which is really a bit toxic and self-destructive, when you stop and think about it.
I have often been accused of being both "slow" and "annoying" because I don't just pick a viewpoint/team and then stick to it, ride or die.
But what is the right outcome, even if that outcome is not the right one for me?
It often holds true that even selfless acts are undertaken in service of making the actor "look good," in some fashion.
Truly informed decisions are very challenging to arrive at... and I'll be the first to admit that many of mine are not as informed as I would like them to be.
But at least we can all do our best, right?
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Created at 2024-10-27 16:36 PDT
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