So the wife took her mum to the cinema last week. I, of course, was the designated driver as they were watching a Thai 'romance' which left me in shopping mall limbo for three hours.
So, the only mall on Samui is one of the 'Central' malls and it's a small, semi-open mall rather than a huge concrete megamall such as the ones in Bangkok. It's situated in Chaweng which is the main tourist area of Samui and for the first time in years, I actually felt like a tourist! Koh Samui is just about a forty-five mile drive around the ring road but our side of the island is much more rural than the 'holiday' side. Its odd as we have the best sunsets, most idyllic beaches and more of a genuine Thai vibe and although seeing foreigners everyday around us, Chaweng is the place to be. Think Benidorm with Buddha!
Even in the mall, you felt the holiday vibe. Overpriced coconut juice and souvenir T shirt stalls sat comfortably with some of the higher end stores. The only Thais to be seen were the ones working in the shops and the air was full of the excited tones of Russian tourists who had avoided the draft. At the entrance, there was a ubiquitous chopped down VW Van selling beer, and a band was playing Bob Marley!
I did start to have a wander down beach road but after the umpteenth call of;
"Massage, mister?", I'd had enough and headed back to the mall.
Anyway. The point is, it suddenly struck me what a brilliant place to come on holiday if you're knocking on a bit and suffering from Alzheimer's.
Bear with me.
So, imagine I'm stood back home in the market square in Pontefract. Greggs two quid sausage sandwich and cappuccino in hand and I forget where I am. I look around and there's nothing to remind me. No signs saying 'Pontefract'. I'm clueless and end up wetting myself because I thought I was in public toilet before a plump and unrealistically happy community police constable turns up to lead me home. That's Alzheimer's
In Samui. No such problem. Its impossible to forget where you are as everywhere you turn, they're ramming it down your throat! Now imagine you have a momentary lapse. Just look around and boooom. I'm in Samui! Brilliant. There are so many weed shops, You'll stumble across one without even remembering what you were looking for and end up getting so high, you tell a massage lady your life story and hope you have a happy ending! Let's hope you've a few quid left as that's going to cost you.
As I dreamed up my cunning plan to dominate the niche market of Alzheimer's travel, three hours were up and I was suddenly brought out of holiday mode by the stench of cheesy popcorn as the wife and her mother came giggling out of the cinema. The wife looked almost apologetic as she asked what I'd been up to the for the last three hours.
"Been a bit bored to be honest", I said, heroically, "but I'll bring you both back next week too if you want!"
I don't think she noticed the weed shop next door that accepted Crypto!
The people on the steps had ventured towards the market, got confused and just sat down not knowing what to do next.
The guy in this shop is breaking the law. No, not by selling weed as that is totally fine, but by accepting crypto as direct payment which is actually very illegal here!
For the best experience view this post on Liketu
