Breaking free from toxic bonds

in #hive-15385010 days ago

This topic has reminded me of my cousin's sister's marriage, and I can't help but wonder why she entered that union in the first place. My cousin has been trapped in a toxic relationship, even during their courtship, yet she chose to set a date for the wedding. Life indeed feels imbalanced, and often, we find ourselves as the architects of our own misfortunes. How can one justify remaining in a toxic marriage under the guise of "love"?

adults-1869541_640.jpg
src

I stayed with her when she had her first baby. One day, while I was in the kitchen, I heard a loud slap, prompting me to rush to see what had happened. To my shock, it was a slap delivered to my sister's face, her partner had just strucked her again in my presence. Later, when I asked her about it, she told me not to worry, as this was a regular occurrence. He would apologize afterward, and they would return to "normal." Blood of Jesus! So after every beating, he would express remorse, and everything would go back to the way it was? She confirmed it. Ah, Love in the air!.

Another day when a little argument occurred between the lover birds and my cousin's husband ran to the kitchen to take a knife, roaring like a lion running after my sister to stab her. Oh my God! I screamed and shouted so the neighbors could hear but none was hearing because we lived in an estate then.

couple-1790138_640.jpg

Src

Afterward, when the whole issue died down, my sister began to narrate her journey , using her experience as a means of asvise to me not to ever get myself into a toxic relationship. She said, what makes her keep going back was what she doesn't know whether if she backs out, she was gonna get into another relationship because the beating had been like that right from the beginning but she kept on accepting his apology with a gift whenever the deed has been done. Afterall, Tunde loves me Don't you realize, this marriage is dangerous to you and your kids? All she could say was marriage is all about endurance that she needs to endure for the man to change and she's scared what the society will say. Bla bla bla...

She managed to give birth to two children before she got independence from the toxic marriage she called a home. She filed for a divorce when she was about to die in her husband's hand. I'm glad she could leave to live to tell the story. I pray that everyone in that kind of relationship to have a better understanding 🙏

What's my view on a toxic relationship?

This is based on individuals. You can only take a horse to the river but you cannot force it to drink water. How do you help someone who's adamant to be helped? The only point is for someone to have it at the back of his/her mind that, It is not a do or die affair and we should be ready to leave so that we can live.

How can you put a stop to it?

  • Get a life of your own.
  • Observe the dangers you are seeing and run away for your dear life.
  • Don't go back because love is unconditional, there is nothing like that.
  • Face your fears and speak up, confide in someone reasonable who can help you to get free from the battle. It is a battle.
  • Be smart enough to say NO.
  • Be a decision-maker.

Posted Using InLeo Alpha

Sort:  

She saw all these signs before going into marriage with such person, most of us are afraid of what people will say and start to endure it

She was receiving hot slaps and beating when they were still courting and yet, she went ahead to say I DO

The problem is, we seem too afraid of what society will say than our safety.

It is well

Keep creating! ✨

Thank you 🤗