Relationships they say have their ups and downs and to a point I feel this is true. Well, sometimes that roller coaster turns into a horror ride that you need to escape from. I've been thinking a lot about toxic relationships lately before coming across this topic in this prompt, and how society often normalizes behavior that should set off every alarm bell we have,because many at time we hear and see stuff about relationships of others and even ours go south ,but somehow this individuals end up getting back together.
Personally I'm not in support of a toxic relationship, I'm someone who hates stress and I kinda like the soft life, even I'm praying to have a smooth and soft life every. I can't do anything toxic.Life's already complicated enough without adding emotional warfare to the mix.
Let me give this instance of the late Osinachi, the female gospel singer who lost her life to a toxic relationship.Her story still haunts me. Here was a talented woman, known for her powerful voice, silently enduring abuse behind closed doors. All in the name of being a "good Christian wife,” it was after her death words started coming out about how her husband treated her,and this she kept to herself all in the name of Christianity , “I don't want a divorce, I don't want to sin against God blah blah”..... Well she lost her life while clinging to this theory , it was after her death, many wives and partners started speaking up on the abuse and the maltreatment they get from their partners. I think that year recorded most divorce cases, not that I read that anywhere I'm only assuming.
To me she defended her husband cos of the sake of her career and also because of this Christianity, I'm not saying it's not good to listen to the word of God but to the extent of your life at stake? Nah nah that's actually not okay.
My actual thoughts on the Toxic relationship thing is if you are in a relationship whether marriage, courtships, friendship etc any sort at all and it is life threatening, my brother,my sister just find your way because life has no duplicate.
I have heard someone tell their wives who told her husband he was traumatising her, the guy actually told her , “ I don't beat you na” like that's bullshit, Do you know verbal abuse ,like using hurtful words on your partner is actually worse than the physical, because you are breaking the spirit of that person gradually and that is so wrong.
A Way Forward…
To me the way forward from a toxic relationship is to first fully understand a person before going into the relationship. I'm talking about understanding their core values, seeing how they handle stress, watching how they treat others when they think no one's looking. This isn't about being paranoid; it's about being smart.
Source
Also as a person you need to be financially stable , I have seen women ask the question of how would they survive with their partner like should that even be a question. As a person you need to have stuff to your name.Have something to your name, whether it's a skill, a business, or savings. Your partner should add to your life, not be your life support system.
Also the country should have legal backing to strongly support this kind of stuff, so as to instill fear in people.There should be real consequences that make abusers think twice before raising their hand or their voice against their partners. The fear of legal repercussions might not stop everyone, but it's a start. See, love shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't leave you walking on eggshells or questioning your worth. It shouldn't make you choose between your dignity and your relationship. If someone tells you they're hurting you, believe them. If someone shows you they're capable of hurting you, believe that too.
We need to create a society where speaking up about abuse isn't seen as airing dirty laundry but as saving lives....
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