The Chronicles of Karate Joe - Episode 1: Ball Winders (short fiction for #freewrite prompt "ball winder")

in #hive-1611552 years ago

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Karate Joe scratched at his mechanical eyeball, appearing to be lost in thought.

"You know it's really gross when you do that", Jane remarked, flicking a tiny ball of wadded up paper napkin at him. He startled, straightening up and yanking his hand away. "It helps me concentrate" he grunted. His left eye, the one that wasn't a prosthetic, flashed her a look of mild annoyance. She leaned across the table, plucked a fry off his plate, dipped it in the mixture of ranch, ketchup, mustard, tabasco, and hollandaise sauce that was congealing on her empty plate, and popped it into her mouth. Her mannerisms were flirtatious, but the hushed undertone of her voice was all business: "Joey. You know we're undercover".

"Yeah", he muttered, "I know. That's why I gotta concentrate". He was eyeing her appraisingly, playing along with the charade, but she could tell that most of his mind was elsewhere. She beckoned to him with a finger, her dark eyes locked on his, and when he leaned in she whispered: "it looks weird, Joey. Most people don't gouge at their eyeballs like that. Like, full on, with your fingernail. Eye wide open. You look like a crack addict with a scratch-and-win ticket. But like, in your eye".

Joe sighed and sat back in his seat. "It's these new models. They itch". He said it softly, almost too softly for Jane to hear. He had to speak softly, they both did, so as not to be overheard; but Jane could tell there was more to it than that. There was a subdued quality. He sounded tired.

She examined his face sympathetically, letting the cover drop just a little. "Look", she said gently, "I know it's been a lot. After this we can take a break maybe, huh? God knows we deserve one. I'll pitch it to the boss when we get back. But first we gotta finish this job. We're almost there, right? After all we've been through? Our targets are gonna come walking through that door any minute now. All we have to do is pinch the recipe, and we're out, yeah? Simple, easy, clean. No surprises".

Karate Joe looked doubtful, but he nodded assent. Then his expression changed."Ok, but I gotta check the calibration. Something about this piece doesn't feel right". He picked up a worn leather satchel that sat beside him and began rummaging through it. "I know there's a ball winder in here somewhere", he muttered, "I had a bunch of them..."

Jane gasped and kicked him under the table. "Is that them?" she hissed.

Joe looked up to see two kids, a girl and a boy, walking toward the lunch counter. The boy looked to be in his early teens, maybe thirteen or fourteen. His hair was fashionably cut, and he was wearing trendy looking clothes. The girl was younger, maybe ten. She had curly, honey colored hair and was wearing a simple blue dress. Yep, they matched the description. And his synthetic eye confirmed that both kids had the correct energy signature. Then the boy turned to say something to the girl, and Karate Joe's face froze. "What the...?" he mouthed.

Jane was staring at him. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice trembling almost imperceptibly, "That's them, isn't it? Let's do this".

"Hang on". Karate Joe had a hand on her wrist. "Look at those two. Anything look familiar?"

Jane turned to look, and as soon as she did, she saw it.

The boy had a wandering eye.

No. Not a wandering eye. A wandering eye would've been ok, plenty of people had wandering eyes. He had a glass eye. And a glass eye...that was definitely not ok. That was not even close to ok...

Tune in next time for more mind-bending and tastebud-enhancing adventures with Karate Joe and Just Plain Jane, TIME SPIES.....!!! (If I decide to write another episode)

Written in response to the following prompt: https://peakd.com/hive-161155/@mariannewest/day-1928-5-minute-freewrite-wednesday-prompt-ball-winder

Image credit: shawnanggg on Unsplash

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Well, I hope you do! Great freewrite! Welcome back!

@owasco! Thank you. I'm glad to see you're still here 😁. Not seeing many familiar faces in the freewrite group, but it has been awhile. Thanks for the welcome :)

Eeeeeek!!! I almost quit reading at this point:

Most people don't gouge at their eyeballs like that. Like, full on, with your fingernail. Eye wide open

Glad I stayed with it.
LOVE this.

The boy had a wandering eye.
No. Not a wandering eye. A wandering eye would've been ok, plenty of people had wandering eyes. He had a glass eye. And a glass eye...that was definitely not ok. That was not even close to ok...

Reminds me of my mother-in-law, oh so casually narrating a recent incident at the Elks' Club. This guy drank too much and LOST HIS EYEBALL. His #1 fear was coming home without it, as they were scheduled for 50th wedding anniversary portraits the next day. I forget how the story ended. All I remember now is how cavalier this woman sounded, as if "Hey, I can't find my eye" is something you hear every day.

Oh! That story about the glass eye made me laugh so hard. Something about the way you related it 🤣

I'm glad you kept reading. I don't know how the prompt "ball winder" got me to cybernetic eyeballs and time-travelling secret agents, but there it is. Freewrite prompts can stir up all kinds of weirdness in the psyche.

It's good to see you @carolkean! Thanks for stopping by. I'm just jumping back in here on Hive, we'll be seeing more of each other I'm sure ✨

I laughed so hard when my mother-in-law told the story, and she didn't seem to get why it was so funny. Just another day in small-town Nebraska!
I'm now reading The Cornbread Mafia... the ebook was on sale for $2. Set in Kentucky.
Good to hear from you too, and I do hope to see more of everyone -I fell off the face of the earth and have been trying to hitch a ride back. Hmmm, those Chinese spy balloons might offer a foothold... or not!

Her not understanding why it was funny is almost as funny as the story itself 😆

So you were on hiatus too? I see. In that case, hail, fellow traveller, and well met!

But yeah, watch out for those spy balloons 😁

Yes!!

Her not understanding why it was funny is almost as funny as the story itself 😆

This is why Leslie Nielson is so hilarious in Airplane and the movie where O.J. Simpson goes down the stadium stairs in a wheelchair (Naked Gun).

Of course I am embarrassed to confess that I laugh every single time I see this. It makes no sense. I hate violence and suffering but THIS makes me laugh, because, WHY....