While Capt. R.E. Ludlow was sitting and calming the feelings of his granddaughters eleven-year-old Eleanor and eight-year-old Edwina about the inappropriate behavior of their mother's family, their late mother's mother called.
Eleanor rolled her eyes at the mere sound of Grandma Isabelle's voice … grandmother and granddaughter had in common an elegant manner that was natural to them, but Grandma Isabelle was always so haughty and had so much to say about everybody else, but …
“But when you really need something, she doesn't do anything!” much more blunt Edwina had to say about that, and would have said plenty more when she heard that voice … but Eleanor reached over and gently covered her younger sister's mouth as their Ludlow grandfather said, “Good afternoon, Isabelle. What may I do for you?”
“Robert, I must say, you disappoint me. You are such a hard man, and you have done all that therapy and have not improved one bit.”
“Enlighten me, Isabelle. Perhaps my last course did not cover what you are concerned about.”
“You know full well that my children need the connection to the memory of their sister, and you are blocking it all up and have gotten Tristan to go along with it.”
“Isabelle, you are your own and your children's best advocate in terms of protecting all feelings, and I commend you for that. You just are doing so well at it that it is a good thing our grandchildren have an equally strong and single-minded advocate in me, because not in 12 years have you remembered that Eleanor, Edwina, and Robert are people too. But when you get to the end of your initial course with Alcoholics Anonymous, you will realize why I can say to you, calmly, that it is all right that you keep doing what you are doing until you want to do something different. I have learned that I just need to control me and handle my actual responsibilities, and you're going to learn that you won't need to drink when you realize the same thing. Nothing over here is under your control, Isabelle, and no one cares about you being disappointed, so you can release those ideas and heal.”
She hung up, and her two granddaughters looked wide-eyed at their Ludlow grandfather.
“Papa,” Eleanor said, “you're powerful when you are loud with that big voice, but you are super powerful when you are quiet.”
“So y'all thought I'm just putting in eight weeks away from y'all and not be enhancing my super powers?” Capt. Ludlow said, and Eleanor started laughing.
“Oh, she ain't NEVA gonna call over here again!” Edwina said, and laughed until she fell out.
“Yeah, that was the plan!” Capt. Ludlow said, and joined his granddaughters in laughing.
When everyone was calm, Eleanor and Edwina settled their hearts into their grandfather's final word on the subject: “There are only three people I care about disappointing in your mother's family, and that's you two and your brother Robert. That's it. That's all. No one else matters. Your aunts and uncles and grandparents are grown – they need to manage their own feelings just like I need to manage mine – that's their personal problem, and it's not going to be your problem, because if anyone tries to make it your problem, I'm going to become their problem.”
“I'm Problem Child and you're Problem Papa and I love it!” Edwina said. “ 'Hell to Pay' and 'Breaking Bad' Ludlow forever!”
“That's not quite what I meant,” Capt. Ludlow said as Eleanor double-facepalmed, “but what we do sometimes to keep the peace is to let people know: it is best to avoid problems in advance. I have just put your grandparents on notice that they can avoid some problems over here while they go about their healing, and I do believe both have gotten the good word.”
“Aw, man!” Edwina said, but then added, “does that mean we have more time for gardening?”
“It does,” Capt. Ludlow said as Eleanor sighed with relief. “Shall we join Grandma in the garden?”
“Yes!” both said, and off they all went.