Hive Stalwart Does Not Have A Clue What to Write About Today

in #hive-16416612 days ago

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And this is when the self motivation line on the graph crosses with the self help line on the graph, and this is the happy zone!! THE END.

That was a close one thought @masktaster as he finished off yet another Hive post. @masktaster had wrote about everything and anything. He wrote a post on Hive everyday for 5 years now and before that it was a daily post on Steem. @masktaster was solid as a rock. You could set your alarm to when you would see the @masktaster post. He wrote about Hive , Splinterlands , Leo, life's ups and downs, general motivational posts. You name it @masktaster had written about it. People on Hive looked up to him as he was always optimistic , always promoting Hive. A safe pair of hands. But what others thought of @masktaster , he himself did not see himself that way. The stress of having to write a post every day was getting to him. But he had to deliver. On the slow days when he could not find anything to post about he did a Hive Power update to show everyone how many Hive Power he had accumulated. Some dates were easy such as Hive Power Up Day on the first of each month. But once he went through all the Dapps , by the middle of the month he was running out of ideas.

@masktaster's hobby was writing posts on Hive which meant he did fuck all else but this also meant he had nothing to write about. If it reached 4pm and he had no ideas for a post , he used to go for a brisk walk and take a few photos. He had that to fall back on if the worst came to the worst although he himself used to loathe the photo of a leaf or an insect. He refused to go running which would take up 1 post per week with Actifit. He was unemployed but he pretended to have a job. Everyone knew he didn't but they did not hold it against him. In fact he got the heave hoe from his previous job when the boss caught him writing a post about Splinterlands on the job.

Today was one of those days and @masktaster put on the walking boots and ventured out in the world. It was 4.10pm. He had 8 hours to get the post published so he could keep up his daily post streak that had now become more of a giant anvil on his shoulders. Even when he fell down that well , he posted from the well in the infamous post "I Just Fell Down A Well." It was a fellow Hiver that rang the emergency services to get @masktaster out of the well. They got there just in time to save him. That was a close one he said to he paramedic. I nearly did not get a post published. The paramedic looked at him funny when he put the tin foil around his body to prevent hyperthermia. That was a couple of years ago now, a distant memory.
So he set off to get some air and come up with a post on this crisp Autumns Day. It was wet as it was recently raining. After 20 minutes he still had nothing in his head so he had to resort to dreaded leaf photographs. He saw a beautiful oak leaf on a road that was a nice mix of orange and yellow. Fully formed with no bits taken from it. The last resort but this is what he had to do. He went over to it. Got out his phone. He was just about to take the photo then

SMMMMMMMMMMAAAAACKKKKKKK.

@casktaster unknowningly was in the middle of a road and got blown up in the air by an automobile. @casktaster spent a good 5 seconds in the air and fell on the other side of the car. The driver got out of the car in hysterics asking him if he was OK. @caskmaster was conscious but just about. He could bearly move and bearly talk.
"Ughhhhhhhhhh take a ph-ughhh-oto of the ughhh leaf ughhhh for me. Must Write Post!!!"

SORRY ARE YOU OK SOMETHING ABOUT THE POST OFFICE?

UGHHHH no no phone , get my phone.

The driver of the car went over to @casktasters phone which was in smithereens on the ground.

YOUR PHONE IS BROKEN ARE YOU OK????"

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH most write post what time is it Ughhhhhhhh?

IT'S 5PM , I BETTER CALL AN AMBULANCE.

Nooooo no ambulance , must get home and write post.

NO WAY MAN , YOU NEED MEDICAL HELP

Must get up UGHHHHH

NIIIIIIII NAAAAAAA NIIIIIIIII NAAAAAAA

Oh thank god they are here. You are going to get some help ok .

NOOOOOOOO Must Write Post

The paramedics quickly cut @casktasters clothes off in order to check his vitals. They put on a medical gown, the one where your arse still hangs out at the back. They stabilized him and gave him morphine for the pain.

"We are going to get you to the A&E department because you have a nasty gash on your head and a couple of broken ribs Mr Taster. You are lucky to be alive!

NOOOOOOO must get home and write post.

That's not possible Mr Taster, we have to bring you in.

The paramedics put him on a stretcher and secured him in the ambulance. One paramedic stayed in the back while another went to drive.

@casktaster was feeling better as the morphine kicked in. There was nobody going to stop him writing a post. He would be in A&E the rest of the evening. Without his phone he was snookered!! What was he going to do???

He spotted the paramedic bend over preparing an IV. Now was his chance.

He used all his energy to sit up. Pulled himself off the bed and threw himself out of the back of the ambulance. The ambulance was travelling fast and @casktaster went into a roll to the side of the road and down an embankment. He injured himself even more but for the greater good. He hid in the bushes for a while so the paramedics could not find him. He felt a chill on his testicles and realised that he was in a gown and was thankful it was twilight as his bum was showing. There was going to be two moons in his town tonight.

@casktaster was aware his morphine would wear off soon and he had to get home. He knew he was in a field about 2km from his house. It was now 6pm. He needed to get home. But how would he do it? He looked around. He saw something moving in the field. A horse!! He waddled over to the horse and gave it some grass to make friends. The horse was tame and ate the grass. This is my chance thought @casktaster. @caskmaster went behind the horse. He never rode bareback before and he decided the best way up was to take a run and jump from behind the horse. Here goes nothing!!! @casktaster took a run up and slipped just as he got to the tale of the horse. His legs went from underneath him and into the air. He kicked the horse in the nuts. The horse led out a painful neigh and kicked @casktaster in the head knocking him out cold.

@casktaster woke up in the mud. It had started raining again. He was out for a couple of hours. The blow he took to the head had taken its toll but he was awake. He was concussed but awake. The horse looked over at him with shady "You kicked me in the bollocks" eyes. There was no way this relationship could move forward so he continued back through the field. @casktaster was covered in mud and the police and paramedics were probably looking for him so he had to get going. He saw lights at the other side of the field. Homes , gardens. So he made his way to the lights limping and struggling like something like the Normandy Landings in Saving Private Ryan. Movie theme music played in his head as every step forward he made was a struggle. Cut , heavily bruised and with two broken ribs he kept moving forward.

MUST GET BACK TO A LAPTOP UGGGGHHHH.

@casktaster had defied the odds and his sheer will and determination got him to the fence at the other side of the field. He throw himself over and got his gown stuck on a spike in the fence. He was now naked but the good news is he was in a housing estate. Maybe this was bad news but for @casktaster he was one step closer to keeping his daily post record up. On the brightside he had content for a week or maybe two weeks worth of Hive content. He got knocked down, he jumped out the back of an ambulance, he kicked a horse in the bollocks and he was now walking naked through a housing estate. All he had to do now was make it through the housing estate. He hid behind cars and zig zagged his way through the estate to approach his house. He finally got there but realised he left his keys in the ambulance. He went around the back and broke the window to get access to his house. He shut down his alarm and thankfully he was home.

He got his laptop and opened Peakd , started typing the title

"You Never Guess What Happened Me Toni~##khahv;ohro0v89u0-9uw3-49gubv-e9urjvwpj'bv'prjbve'apj'gjuvbwe'ujbejbva'jbvae['bvja'jbvae'vjbaerjepfvjpds986yavsbkjb;PJUEV#AO[V

@casktaster fell unconscious on his laptop and that was the end of his posting on Hive.

FOREVER!!!!!

And that lies the ballad of @casktaster. The unclaimed rewards from that day forward.

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Poor @cocktaster! He had been so reliable, too. Hopefully he had set some autovotes, so he'll be remembered for his generosity forever.

Thanks!

He's raking it in posthumously from the auto votes.😂

Saludos me gusto el texto muy entretenido, analizando el personaje central @casktaster su vida dependia solo de Hive y al final perdio su vida y todo lo que habia logrado eran 10 dolares, valio la pena su record de publicaciones diarias? Algo para meditar.

the one where your arse still hangs out at the back

After all this time, they never managed to sort this out. One of the great medical mysteries.

it's where injections go. The arse has to be exposed at all times. 😀

I think you did quite well :) I'm struggling to find stuff to write about myself lately. It seems I have run out of content from the summer!

This is the reason I’m writing about it as I’m struggling myself 😀😀

Lol, I pissed myself laughing at this

@masktaster's hobby was writing posts on Hive which meant he did fuck all else but this also meant he had nothing to write about

It can be a curse! 😃😃

There’s one guy/girl in particular and I always read their posts in a boring monotone voice and I make myself laugh. But then I read the African lads post in a Nigerian accent. Cracks me up . I’m the weirdo . I must get a hobby that’s not reading Hive posts in the accent of the author .

I do that too!! I mean most of the time it's in a monotone but sometimes I do the Nigerian ale Spanish ones 🤣🤣

😂😂😂😭

Tis indeed a pity what happened to caskmaster...

This is why you shouldn't do leaf pics😂

Its casktaster @seki1 . I've never heard of a caskmaster. Who the hell is he? 😀