Yes. Moving abroad is as cool as it sounds AND as hard as you imagine. I am latina and close to my friends and family. Yes, yes. I was lucky to be surrounded by amazing people in Chile and still... I was restless.
I wanted to go and explore the world. This post is about what I did, what has happened to me since I left, and what I have learned from moving away from Chile.
Spoiler alert. This post has a happy ending.
Atacama desert. Visiting the north of Chile on a roadtrip.
I feel so tiny in a world so big and full of people and cultures to learn from. For as long as I can remember, I have been dreaming about experiencing the world. I feel humbled by the prospect. People are so different from one another and I want to get to know as many cool people as I can. There is just so much to learn from other's perspectives on things. So many beautiful places to see. So many good stuff to eat.
While I was studying in university to become a psychologist I worked on as many jobs as I could handle to go visit as many places as I could. And boy I worked. Thanks to that, I traveled a bit. I have no dime to my name in savings, but a whole lot of pictures on my PC and memories of places I have been lucky enough to see.
Chiloé, Chile. Hitchhiking with a friend for a month in the south of Chile.
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On the left, Whistler, Canada. Hitchhiking trip in the south of Chile on the right.
Some trips were more glamorous than others. Unlike the VERY low budget hitchhiking trip to the south of Chile (I spent 217 euros in a month, everything included), I have met people from around the world that I go say a quick hello and show me around. Having a local (friend) to show you around is just priceless. Either hitchhiking or jumping on a plane to go somewhere far away, there are always incredible sights and spectacular food. In my earlier trips I took very few pictures and thus the changing quality of the photos I share today with you.
But going on a vacation trip, for a few weeks or even a month is nothing compared to moving abroad. Not to me at least. Just as I was thrilled at the idea of planning for a trip, I was scared to death by the idea of moving away. The uncertainty, insecurity and loneliness frightened me. I enjoy other people's company too much. I get shy sometimes when meeting someone new. I have a hard time setting boundaries. I can be very moody and insecure about myself. Am I smart enough to learn a new language? I need my parents too much. Am I not just fine in this job that I do not like that much? etc., etc., etc... All of this self doubt just clouded my judgment and ability to see it was away from Chile where I wanted to go.
On the plane, the day I left Chile. I was not alone! A friend on mine was getting married to a German guy. We both moved to Europe that day of June in 2021.
Eventually I came around recognizing I was running away from this wish out of fear. So eventually, I faced the demons head on. It took me years to recognize the issue and decide to make a move.
As I psychologist you are trained to be aware of inner turmoil of yourself and others. But, hey. I got some professional help to boost clarity and self confidence in me along the way too. So be patient with yourself. We all have different times to work through our struggles and doubts. I know you may have great friends to lean on. BUT therapy can work charms if you want to leave but are struggling with insecurity or feeling selfish by moving abroad (and all the other doubts that arise). A good clinical psychologist will not give you any answers or solve your issues. They will help you acquire tools to help you navigate your own thoughts and environment in a healthier way.
So, what could I do? The working holiday visa was not the best idea fro me (might be for you!). I am already a bit older that usual age and social unrest was making it hard to get out of the country. It was difficult to see any chance of making that happen. Also, and most importantly, I had not enough money to my name to go find my way in the world by fighting for a job and all. That was the most terrifying prospect of it all. What I did have was good grades and good relationships with my teachers. So with they guidance, I decided to apply for scholarships and slots in masters programs in Europe.
I recommend choosing to study abroad as a way to migrate safely and making your life easier. How? by providing you with activities on a daily basis, people to meet, networks, institutions that will support migration, a nice stamp for your CV, among other things. YES, YES, YES. This are very basic things that you can usually take for granted. BUT you lack them when you are alone in a far away land, without a job or people to hang out with. The easier you can make it all for you, the better.
Other braver aliens than myself handle uncertainty much better than me and jump at the idea of moving abroad. I am not good with it at all. **I have convinced myself that my strength lies in knowing this and planning around my difficulties. 😂🤪So. I studied and studied to get into any of the programs I met the requirements to. I was not picky. I was open minded. But that was not enough. Guess what!?! I FAILED!!! Terrible, miserable day. I knew even before I got the email because I had done so badly in the oral exam online.
BUT. After so many years of being unsure about moving, my decision had been made and I was a woman with a purpose. I applied again the following year. And this time I got the scholarship I needed to move and start my new life in Barcelona.
Barcelona from the "Tibidabo" hill.
Barcelona from "Los Bunkers"
Since I moved to Europe I have visited places, met with people and packed more bags than I can remember. All that I own fits into these bags and I am as light in material things as I think I will ever be. Now I will share with you a collection of pics of me & ma' bags since I moved from Chile a year and a half ago.
Me & ma' bags in Germany to Barcelona.
Me & ma' bags in the trip Paris - Germany.
Cesena, where the faculty of Psychology is of the University of Bologna.
Cesenatico
I am as happy as a bee right now. But not everyday feels like this. Many days are hard to cope with. Being far from your support network is tough when facing with difficulties that come along in life. When I first arrived to Barcelona, I was scammed by the company I rented a room from. I thought using a company to find a home would be the safest way, given I did not know the local market very well or any people in town. BUT. Contrary to what was promised, I could not file for residency with the contract the company and I singed. Also, the conditions of the apartment and my room where deplorable. I was paying so much money (650 euro) for a room in a home that smelled bad, had a bad case of humidity, rained inside, etc... Laptops and electronics had to be covered those winter days just in case.
That was not the only time I felt helpless and frustrated. I got sick with covid, as many of you I am sure, and was dragged to the hospital by my roommates while in Italy because I was unable to eat or sleep. The headache was unberable.
Turns out that was not my only time in the emergency room either.
I am sure I am a lucky b* compared to the struggles others face. Each persons bag is hard in its own way. Hard days are hard not necessarily because big bad things happen to you. Sometimes when everything is new, it is hard to get by. Where is the supermarket? How does the public system work? Where can I find x,w,z? Can I have a SIM card? Open a bank account? Do you need to register for residency? Is it all in a different language? Where can I ask for the bathroom? Who can I ask for help in case of an emergency? Small things you are familiar with in you home town are suddenly very new and different.
On more positive notes. Cause not all is uncontrollable tragedy that happens to you. Some are honest to god screw ups. A funny one is that I am unable of taking care of anything (barely myself these days). I tried to become a plant momma and am failing at it dramatically.
This is of course the before and after. I bought a new one and am giving it a go one more time.
When living you will make mistakes. When you are new in a place, you are sure to make as double as many. When coming to a new town or country you get lost all the F** time. You are not but a person stuck to google maps (or similar). Also, you are on the road a lot. Which is fun and also not so much. Find yourself a book or a podcast or work to help you pass the time. Here is a collection of me "on the road" for trips and migration since I moved to Europe in 2021.
I have explored on new hobbies and past passions. Both help you meet new people and pass a great time. My new hobby was climbing. I wrote about it a while a go in this post. I also joined WhatsApp groups and an app called "Celebreak" to go and play football with other girls. I love that sport so much. Pic is from one of the fields I went and played in, with the "Celebreak" app. I also tried ukulele, origami, quiz games in Irish pubs. Find stuff that suits you and pursue them. You might find people that are compatible with you. The right people can make a home for you no matter where you are. I have met A-MA-ZING folks along my way, like @aurzeq.
I am not sure where I am going next. I just landed in Germany for a bit and we will see how that goes. I am liking it in Europe and wish to stay and see if I can find my way.
Image borrowed from Celebreak app of one of the fields I went and played in.
So yeah... I just shared an overview of moving abroad for me. A very long one. Sorry for that. I got carried away. Thanks for sticking around for this.
Like this blog entry, migrating is messy. If you do not handle messiness or uncertainty well (like me), do not fret. Nothing but yourself can stop you from what you want to achieve.
The things I have learnt abroad and that I wish to share with you I guess, are:
- Shit happens. No matter where you are. There is stuff to learn in the hard experiences, so it is up to you to make them good experiences in their own way.
- I cry a lot, and that is ok. Tomorrow will be better. A hard day is not proof that this life choice is not for me.
- Be kind to yourself. When moving, you will need to re-learn the basics. Everything. It can get exhausting. You are not useless or dumb or incapable. Take a breath. Take your time. It is ok.
- Explore new versions of yourself. You are as free as ever when you are away and by yourself. Free to choose who and what you want to be. I can't wait to find out.
Me in a small trip to Milan. Again, thanks for sticking around til the very end of this post!
