Home Harmony Diaries: Entry 02

in #hive-1664082 years ago

A few years back, when I was just discovering the wonder of podcasts, I stumbled across a podcast titled 'A Slob Comes Clean' by Dana K. White. I'm not sure if it was the name of the podcast or what exactly made me decide to listen, but I am glad I did.

I had found a kindred spirit in Dana. And I don't only mean in terms of her great humour, she struggled with a lot of the same issues I did. Like not being able to see a mess, I think she called it slobovision. It's been a while since I listened. But she described having walked past an open cupboard 7 times on camera while doing a video before she even noticed it was open.

Some days I do not register the chaos. Other days, it's all I can see and it drives me insane. There usually isn't in between.

Recently I managed to get hold of one of Dana K. White's books, Decluttering at the Speed of Life. And in chapter one, I immediately began to understand what the problem I am facing in my living space might be.

In my first entry, I spoke about my clutter cycle. I would organise things and clear an area, and things were great for a few days, but a week later, we would be back to square one, with piles of stuff everywhere.

Here is where Dana opened my eyes to some very interesting points.


Decluttering vs Organising

Decluttering and organising are not the same thing! I'm fact they are extremely different. Organising is creating some kind of system of storage in an attempt to create some order out of the chaos.

Now, if you are like me, you've probably attempted organising your stuff at least once in your lifetime. Here is what I've learnt from organising; it doesn't do squat for me in the long run. There is no tangible, long-lasting improvement. It is a waste of time, energy and sometimes even money, like when I buy more containers or boxes to organise and store things and yet it never seems to make much of a difference.

Clutter Threshold

Clutter threshold is a term Dana defines as the point where stuff becomes clutter. When there is more stuff than you can handle and your space is always 'out of control', it is above the Clutter Threshold.

I have always wondered if my space looks so bad simply because I just never seem to have the motivation to put things away. After observing myself and our space for some time, I have come to two conclusions regarding this.

Not everything lying about actually has a designated storage spot. A case in point is when I tried to clear up the mess on top of the TV cabinet.


Before and after photos, show almost no difference.

After removing and saving everything that had a designated storage spot, there were still items left. Items that had no 'home' and simply ended up staying where they were or being moved around from one surface to the next. The tidying I had done hadn't made much of a visible difference.

My second conclusion was, that even some of the items that did have a designated 'home', would end up lying about because their home was difficult to access. In my case, the files for my important receipts were in the back of a cupboard. And the cupboard was so packed, that I would have to take a few things out to get to the file. It was annoying, to the point where I would just let the receipts build up in a pile on some random surface. It made more sense to my brain to justify the effort of getting to the file if there was more than one receipt to put away.

After observing both these points, I think it is time to admit to myself that I am over my clutter threshold.


My Hoarding Tendencies

I grew up poor. There was no "pop out and get what you need at the store". This is something I've seen in a few books as their encouragement to get rid of stuff. If you find out later that you did need something you got rid of, you can always go buy it again; this is the reasoning they give.

I have difficulty with this. My income has never been stable, even now, I find myself unemployed due to a string of unfortunate circumstances. So to me, it feels like the only resources available to me are what is currently in my living space.

In addition to this, I'm a creative person. When there is an empty container, for example, most people see trash. Me, on the other hand, I see all the potential possibilities for that container. I could upcycle or craft it into something new or otherwise make use of it. And that makes me reluctant to simply get rid of it. And it's not just containers, it's all kinds of odds and ends that this can apply to.


Living in the Now

In chapter 2 of the book, Dana describes her past with stuff. She too has the 'going to use it in the future' mindset. But as she points out, that made living in the here and now difficult. It's difficult to live in the here and now when you are also trying to live in preparation for every possible future as well. Especially when that involves trying to navigate around piles of stuff and boxes of things that constantly get in the way.

This weekend past, I tackled one of those boxes. I couldn't even remember what was in it. When I got the lid off, I was shocked.

A lot of authors and experts suggest that if you are unsure about getting rid of something, you should put it in a box for a year. If you haven't touched it in that year, you should get rid of it.

Well, I opened that box. And it was a box of dead dreams and aspirations. Old study material, from when I began studying towards honours. This dated back to 2013. I had to stop after one semester, as the place of employment, which was supposed to be paying for my studies, did not do so. They weren't even paying me a salary anymore. But that is a story for a different time.

The other contents are documents from when I worked as an estate agent. Everything from study materials to property evaluations. That dated from 2014 give or take.

I had to take a deep breath. Why had I hung onto these things? In case I ever needed them? I had to be realistic with myself. I was likely never going to study further again. Even if I wanted to, there was no way that this material was going to be up to date 9 years later.

The same applied to the estate agent stuff. I had no ambitions of returning to that vocation. And if I should change my mind about that, the material I had was likely not relevant anymore.

Of course, my creative brain had to put in its two cents. Just look at all that paper that I could use for an awesome paper mache (papier-mâché) project. I immediately had to tell my creative brain to shut it. I was honest with myself:

  1. Did I have an ongoing project that needed this paper? No.
  2. Did I actually have any ideas for a Paper Mache project that I really have been wanting to try? No.
  3. Did I actually like working with Paper Mache? No, it's actually rather messy and not my favourite thing to work with.


The amount of old documents and study material I cleared out.

Right, then there was clearly no reason to cling to this stuff. So I chose to live in the now. I kept the textbooks, as they were not only expensive, but it is still topics that I had an interest in. Even if I did not formally study them again, it was nice to know I still had the material to browse if I wanted to.

As for the rest, it was taken out to be recycled. It filled a trash bag, which I had to double bag as it was so heavy. Even then it threatened to tear. Perhaps it is a drop in the ocean, but it is a start.


Small Steps in the Right Direction

Did this process make a huge visible difference in our living space? No, not really. And yes, I admit I was disappointed that it hadn't. But it is unrealistic to expect to reverse several years of clutter in an afternoon or two.

What it definitely was, was a step in the right direction. And yes, I felt good after I had done it. I let go of the past in favour of living in the present. It even allowed me to feel as though I did in fact have a measure of control in my life. Given all the factors that were beyond my control, such as COVID lockdown leading to the eventual closing down of the place where I worked, it was a good feeling for a change.

I am sure the more I tackle my living space, the more the results will start to become obvious. I even moved those files to the bookshelf so I can have easy instant access to save receipts and other important documents immediately. No excuse for them to lay around now.

Little by little, keep moving forward. That's my plan. Do you have a system, strategy or plan in place to look after your living space?


Thanks!

As always, thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read my ramblings. I know I said I wasn't going to include photos of my space, but I ended up doing so anyway, haha. And I recommend checking out Dana K. White's website, podcasts and books if you get a chance.

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I like to craft so tend to hoard craft supplies. I will check out the books and pod cast by Dana White.

A very good piece of advice, though I forget where I heard it, was to only keep supplies on hand for whatever projects you are currently busy with. This has at least prevented me from getting more supplies for projects I haven't even started yet. Projects that may or may not even happen. I am trying to finish everything I have started with first now. Using up what supplies I have on hand.

I can relate SO MUCH to the bit where you say you grew up poor. We also salvaged everything and all our clothes were second hand. I still find it very difficult to let things go... I'm getting better at it though!

Some of my clothes are still second-hand! I'm not opposed to shopping at thrift stores. It is extremely difficult to be okay with letting go. I guess we will both keep getting better. Maybe one day... 😜

Totally. I might buy 1 item of clothing a year. And even that is a lot! I hosted a clothes swopping party with some of my girlfriends where everyone clears out their cupboards and brings their black bags of unwanted clothes and we all drink too much wine, dump all the clothes on the floor and everyone goes home with a new wardrobe! Whatever is left over goes to charity. It's a win-win!

That is actually a very awesome thing to do! I would love to do that, but I have so few female friends who live nearby. And those that are nearby, well, we are so different in size, it would simply not work 😂

HI @pixelhuntersam

This article smacked me in the chest with a thud as I sit here at my "desk" which is more clutter than open space. I too have a problem with things that don't have homes, it is one of my worst issues because I seem to be tidying and cleaning non stop but it doesn't help because I'm just moving stuff around essentially.

When I sold my first house, I cleaned out my study and I filled up about 4 black bags of study material from 5 years of my own studies and 3 years of my ex's studies as well. It was ridiculous and I couldn't get it out of the house soon enough. 8 years worth of paperwork actually takes up a lot of space and I felt so good afterwards. I've never looked back and I've never needed one single shred of that paper.

Receipts, I laughed at your box in the cupboard. I am sitting in the same position and looking at a pile of frumpy till slips right now. Their box is down stairs and out of reach. I'm going to rectify that right now though and put the box under my desk for future, then I have no excuse.

Thanks for the post, it was a good reminder and one I needed right now.

Hi @emma-h, it is so good to hear from you! And nice to know I am not the only one who struggles with what I am sure others might see as obvious. I still have a very long way to go to get my living space the way I would like it to be, but I am hoping all the little things will eventually add up.

Why we do it to ourselves in the first place though is a mystery 😂

The struggle is real. I cleaned off my desk after I wrote that comment and made some changes, whether they'll last long is anyone's guess. Change happens over time in small increments so we're in the boat together Sam.

I know right? Especially if you are creative, I think it's an inherited trait sometimes.

If I am honest, today I am just feeling very overwhelmed by it all. Can't I just set fire to everything and start over? 😂😭 I can't seem to find the motivation to any damn thing today.

I know right? Especially if you are creative, I think it's an inherited trait sometimes.

I am starting to think that might be the case too.

Now you're giving me ideas which I really shouldn't even entertain the thought of. I remember my mom once got so pissed off with all the paper clutter that she chucked it all in a big bag and then took it out back when my father was out and took great pleasure in burning about four year's worth of till slips. He never even asked what happened to them so I think you might be onto a good plan here.

It is a very tempting plan indeed. Sadly, I don't think I am going to be able to get away with it. So I will just have to do it the slow way. It is still satisfying to recycle though and more environmentally friendly!

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