I have spent the majority of my life isolating, either playing video games, depressed, or doing drugs. I missed so many opportunities to spend with my grandma before she passed. My mom used to ask if I want to go see the family, and I would always think I have more important things to do, whether it be the new game I became obsessed with, or I wanted to get high and have fun instead.

I thought seeing family was boring when I was younger, but it could have added up to many more memories with that person. Before my dad got remarried, he would ask me if I wanted to go play basketball, or some activity I wasn't interested in at the time. I always ended up saying no, because I was obsessed with the game Runescape at the time. Little did I know, those were the last moments I would have with my dad before he got completely preoccupied with working 70 hours a week and spending the rest with his wife.

The only memories I remember are the ones spent with family and friends, whether it be a vacation, or doing things I wasn't so thrilled about. Sure I don't like sports, but that was the only way my dad knew how to bond with me, and I would love to have spent the time making memories, instead of doing activities I do not remember, like playing video games.

I loved my grandma to death, and she passed at 86, while I was in jail. Luckily I got furlough(temporary release from jail) to go to the funeral. Those last years, I was high 24/7, and my mom would ask me to call her or see her, repeatedly, and I always got extremely irritated, as I found it awkward to talk to her. I was the only one she truly felt normal around. She had crippling depression, much worse than I have, and everyone treated her differently. Even as a child, I treated her with the same attitude I did with anyone else. Those last years were very hard for my grandma, she was in an extreme amount of physical pain, and was stuck with the worst depression she had in her life. Every time I called, it brought her out of misery and gave her temporary happiness. Every day, I wish I would have called my grandma more. My grandpa, I never felt as close to, but now he has dementia and is in steady mental decline. I wish I would have gotten to know my Grandpa too.

On my dad's side of the family, I have the best memories of my life, going on trips to upper Michigan, the Florida Keys, Downtown Chicago, Cedar Point Halloweekend(Halloween event at a rollercoaster amusement park.), and a ton of amazing, magical adventures, which I will treasure forever. If I didn't start messing up my life, I would have had plenty more adventures spent with the ones I love. I don't talk to them much anymore, as my self-destructive attitude and lifestyle pushed them away, they didn't understand it.

The moral of the story is, if you go to see your dad twice a year, and he is 74, that is 12 more visits if he ends up passing at 80. My mom is 61, and she could be taken from me at any time, and it took me till 23 years old to realize that. If she would have died while I was in active drug addiction, I would never have gotten over the grief and guilt. We should take the time out of our busy lives, to spend with the ones we love, we never know what may happen.

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Photo sources in order

Photo by Ralf Skirr on Unsplash
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