...'this thought struck me as I woke up this morning.'...
Owning the rights and gaining passive royalties for ‘Yesterday’ sounds like a dream… but a dream for mortals such as me?
So I took to the internet in search of cheap goodies.
Would anyone want to own ‘I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am)’ by Gary Glitter? Gary must be thinking about giving away that pile of shit while rotting away in HM Prison Risley, seeing as nobody in the UK will give it airplay.
...'welcome to HM Prison Risley, just down the road from where I happen to work'...
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Mike Leander (the co-writer) died in 1996 so never did get to see the fate of his infamous co-writer and try as I might, I can't figure out who owns this song (that at the age of 10 I loved)… serious cringe.
Risley happens to be in Warrington, the very town I work in, could I visit Gary and offer him a fiver for the full rights of his 'Come on, Come on'… bullshit song?
...'own a famous song that nobody will ever play... bragging rights'...
I would need to bribe him with terrible and illegal images (that I don’t have and would not know where to get), consequently get zero revenue and gain suspicious looks from the screws, so that’s not going to work, well…. moving on.
…'shame on you Americans for supporting this cunt, and my visit to see Gary would have been in vain'…
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SongVest was my next find, a place to buy music rights outright or for us lowly peons, shares in songs.
There's not much for sale, and most of it is new stuff I have never heard of.
‘YoungBoy Never Broke Again’ is a rapper, and looking at his discography it looks promising. While Rap-Crap isn’t my thing, I would be happy to take the royalties, though his latest stuff doesn’t appear to be as popular as the debut ‘Until Death Call My Name’ from 2018.
Wikipedia mentions this 24-year-old has 11 kids. Time to get the cock under control, get the snip or research what rubbers are. It's no wonder you're selling out, all those parental demands.
‘One hundred percent (100%) of the writer’s share of performance income paid by BMI from the music compositions recorded by YoungBoy Never Broke Again’ – not bad, but at $135,000 so far it’s never going to happen.
It mentions the type of performance as 'Public Performance', but what does that mean, and how about streaming rights? I would think that would be the cream. Writer's Share, I'm sure there are other types of 'Shares' as well as this.
…'let's face reality, I was never going to win either of these juicy deals'…
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What was affordable was shares in some remastered TLC songs from the nineties. Songs I knew and 'Creep' at least, I actually like despite the artificial crackle added to the original recording.
Portishead did the same around the same period, trying to incorporate a vinyl sound into their music. My old vinyls were crackle-free free thanks, I didn't throw mine around the room like Frisbees.
Another stupid idea that fortunately was short-lived.
So 50% of the streaming royalties when it gets played. While there’s no doubt it will get played I want a little more than that. It could be used in some advertising, and as ‘Creep’ features a nostalgic, whimsical harmony I could see someone wanting that to be played as a background ditty.
How many shares? There are still 638 for sale, but how many were there to begin with, 100,000?!
My $100 may pay out $1 a year methinks, and this remaster is inferior to the wonderful original, crackles or not. I did have a listen.
'Display your personalized SongShare ownership certificate' and 'Option to buy a custom framed record award', oh.. for fuck sake, pass me the ashtray, cough, vomit.
This reminds me of the mandatory gift shop they make you walk through after some boring guided tour. I want the royalties the money, the ownership, not something I can hang on the wall.
The ‘Coming Soon’ section was a mish-mash of more recent artists, some of which I am aware of. Despite this section being the ‘future’ each one appears to have ended?
Justin Bieber's - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree – must have been a terrible song (aren’t they all), to have paid out a paltry $1.88 and yet it sold for $25.
...'WARNING: Don't listen, and I mean it, you will regret clicking here'...
You need to look at the details before you go into all this and to give it credit, the website does dish them out.
In conclusion, I don’t think I am ready to own the rights to any songs yet, with TLC’s 'Creep' tempting me only slightly. It’s still a fascinating concept, as Paul McCartney famously told Micheal Jackson in the eighties, that’s where the money comes from.
Some of us know what happened next, and if you don’t then google it.
If you found this article so invigorating that you are now a positively googly-eyed, drooling lunatic with dripping saliva or even if you liked it just a bit, then please upvote, comment, rehive, engage me or all of these things.
