I am so sorry about the entire family is down, but, thank God you are the last man standing to be able to take care of them, in their time of need and obviously more toilet tissue... I hope you are well stocked and if not, go Amazon! Or whatever works over there.

Keep those people hydrated,

And patiently wait for your turn. Even God is a humanitarian. He wanted you to have a proper 50th birthday. :) Just remember:

Your age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you!

Enjoy that birthday of yours! Happy Birthday!!! Wait! Let me get candles!