Might I present for you my favourite faux-swear.
Now grit your teeth and say it out loud....
Those four words got me through many years of protecting innocent ears.
Of course, there was at least one time where I believe a hammer came in contact with a thumb where it turned into.
But 95% swear free is pretty good IMHO.
Mother Parker.
and
Son of a Beech Tree
They feel right to my brain ... and don't send the kids running to mom. ;-)
Haha, that is a good one! It has enough hard edges to count as a swear to your head when uttering it. And of course, there is always the hammer option :OD
I still tear up a little when I think of the day ...
I was puttering in the back yard and did something that hurt. I muttered "Mother Parker". The youngest simply disappeared and retuned with an espresso (Nespresso machine, just drop in the pod and press go).
Tears of laughter and tears of pride welled up in my eyes that day.