Hello, I'm watching cheerleaders.
(There's a cheerleader competition thing on ESPN right now where a buncha cheerleaders in cheerleader uniforms do flips and splits and acrobatic kicks with pom-poms in their fists all..)
Gimme an H!
H
Gimme an i!
i
Gimme a V!
V
What's that spell??
You forgot the ~E asshol!
I hate TV's in the gym. Unlike for all the woke folk tuned in. I unlike them to death.
I could be in the middle of cardio which I am now or something else, doesn't matter, there's TV's all over this place waiting to distract me. War, natural disaster, weather, mass-shooting; LEAVE ME ALONE, TV!!! And then they go and put a buncha college girls on one jumping around in their little cheerleader uniforms like I'm supposed to be able to keep count of whatever I was doing a second ago.
The Iowa State girls killed it!
There's no volume. They play gospel music in this gym, my earbuds have drum and bass as loud as they'll go. Flipping and twisting, dancing and :pause:
And then pick back up again without missing a beat.
They threw a girl from one side of the stage to the other and then another girl the other way. They both did a back flip / toe touch thing through the air—killed it.
According to the judges, however, DanDays knows zero point zero about cheerleading cuz Iowa State didn't even place which means yes, I watched the whole thing. I got nothing else accomplished in the gym today. I stayed on the treadmill the whole competition all the way through to the results.
Hey, the University of Tennessee girls are next, that's cool, they're on the other side of the street. Just across the Appalachian's to the light purple one on the right.
They didn't do near as many twisting twirly things as the Iowa State girls. They ran in place a lot, kicked their legs real high and played catch with their pom-pom's, next!
They got 3rd place.
Whatever. I never claimed to be an expert at it. If it wasn't on the TV, I wouldn't have to watch it for all the wrong reasons.
Ohio State sucked. That's what I wrote down, I don't remember which one they were. I wrote they sucked and then didn't say anything else about them until the results where once again I scored a zero point zero cuz Ohio State took home the 2nd place trophy.
I nailed first place though—University of Minnesota. They were next level. Michigan killed it, too. Second place, I thought, for sure said no one else—didn't even place.
The University of Minnesota girls took first place like look the fuck out Jabbawockeez. Those other schools had about as much of a chance at the U of M girls as M E getting anything else done in there today. I don't know how long that competition was but I watched the whole thing.
Stupid TV.
