I have been working to get started traveling for about 2 years or so. Every time I think I am about to get started something happens. Let's run down the history of my journey!
I started out thinking of using a minivan for travel but it was not going to work, then went with a truck with a camper shell. The same problem was that my body would not allow me to do this. Why do you ask, well I had a knee replaced and revised a few times and it is now messed up, if I put weight on it at a 90-degree angle it becomes dislocated, it is a long story and that is the jest of it.
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I found a van that would work, went on a mechanics word about what was wrong with it, and come to find out there was a hole in the block. So back to the drawing board. I then looked around for quite some time and found a step van, it was going to finally work out, I thought, It started out rough as it needed brakes all the way around and some wiring problems fixed, Got all of that done and then found it needed control arms and some suspension work done, took some time but all of it got done. Had to take a break in between as I dislocated my knee doing some things and had to go in for surgery to fix that. Still moving on to get on the road!
With everything done I was driving the step van around town getting things I needed to get the inside insulated and small and simple stuff done on the inside to make it comfortable to basically live in and travel. Coming home from one of those trips it suddenly ran hot, carefully got it home and started looking into why it ran hot and found that it had blown the head gaskets and it was in the compression side of the heads and was allowing the compression to come through the radiator, blowing the overfill canister out and pushed all the water out of the engine.
So I have a guy that can fix it but he works a full-time job and has a honey to-do list also, so it is taking him a while to get to fixing the step van. I cannot do it myself because I would have to kneel to do the job and it would dislocate my knee so trying to do it myself is a no-go.
Staying positive through all of this is hard because I am getting impatient to start my journey on the road but it also hurts because if I try to fix something myself that dislocates my knee it will hurt. So I am in limbo and it is frustrating to be so close many times yet so far away at the same time. I have to fight to stay positive when it is really easy to become negative and stay that way and just say "Screw it, it must not be meant to be!" If that was the case I would have not made it this far, so just keep going forward and things will fall into place soon. There is always a reason for the things that happen, at least that is how I look at things. I have to look at things this way or I will go off the deep end and never come back to reality, that is the way I see it!
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It is funny how life throws things at us to make us stronger when we need it the most and puts the people in our lives to help us be stronger than we thought we could be. Just maybe there is something better around the next bend of our journey in life. Positive thoughts and actions require patience and maybe this is a journey to help me deal with my problems with PTSD and things like that. So I just keep struggling to move forward and looking for the good in all this bad. I hope everyone has a good day/night, whatever it is in your part of the world!
