I don’t normally hop on bars and order any cocktail that sounds amusing and fancy in my ears. I do, however, have spent more than a few days hopping from one coffee shop to another just to get a dose of the caffeine thinking it would automatically fix the day that I have already assumed would suck, and maybe just maybe, my whole life. I don’t even have to have a bad day to get myself that Vitamin C (In this case, C is for Caffeine). So now, you already know where my priorities lie.

But for me, coffee, and alcohol together in a cocktail glass don’t do it. I mean, isn’t it normal for people to drink coffee when they’re drunk so it can get them to sober up? Doesn’t that make them contradict each other when it goes inside your body? Imagine coffee and alcohol fighting inside your body about who gets to signal your brain so that your body can react accordingly. How chaotic right?

Many studies show mixing alcohol and coffee is not safe for your body. If you are someone who wants to see how this generation would turn out with everything problematic that’s happening in the world right now, climate change, world hunger, TikTok, and possibly another recession, I think you should avoid ordering that Espresso Martini on your favorite bar (or any bar) for the rest of your life.

You know what I think is better and that also represents all the good things there are in this world? Go to the quiet, aesthetically pleasing café nearby and order yourself a classic Italian affogato, and you will find out why. It has been around since the late 1990s and has been one of the most popular desserts known to man. The word translates as “drowned” or “poached” referring to the scoop of sweet vanilla ice cream drowned in hot coffee.

The bitterness from the espresso and the sweetness from the ice cream is perfect for coffee lovers like me. Vanilla is my favorite among all the ice cream flavors I have tried so far, no matter how plain it is, so just imagine how great it is to pair two of my favorite things in the world, coffee, and vanilla ice cream. If vanilla is not your favorite, you can go wild and crazy instead of getting something plain and classic like me and go for other ice cream flavors, it’s totally up to you!

But wait, it gets better. I regularly prefer iced coffee over hot so isn’t it just perfect that there is a cold version of the affogato that has been made popular here in the Philippines by McDonald’s which they call the Coffee Float? And the best part of it all? It’s cheaper than the regular tall-sized Starbucks coffee next door! It’s their vanilla sundae with chocolate fudge syrup put on top of their signature iced coffee and every first sip just takes me to all the heavens my agnostic theist concept of faith can comprehend.

In this life, with a regular occasional quarter-life crisis, I will always choose coffee with ice cream over any alcoholic drink ever. You will first find me with a classic Italian affogato (but honestly, McDonald’s Iced Coffee Float most times) in my hand before an Espresso Martini, or maybe, not ever.