Most of the times it is often taken as granted that we humans are born as to grow up day by day,learn many things good or bad, start a habit of reading, pass exams and earn good grades to effectively fall in the abundant sea of work life.
Yet the next time it is just as simple as to be creative and productive in the quest, take the monthly salary and spend it to whatever things come on the priority lists - such as : buying foods, filling house rents, ensuring the good use of fashion sense and clothing, saving money to future life.
And the cycle continues upto the stage where we are to select the person whom we would carry forth as the spouse, passing the most immersive time on the sea of life. People around the society have their diversified tastes, about who should be appropriate, because marrying takes a lot of time before getting onto the stage of living under the same roof .
Yes, it is weird, but the matter of conjugality is quite different from culture to culture. In Asia, it is 180° opposite to Europe, where arrange-marriage and monogamy is the trend. The Asian couple generally takes time to get married.
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One of my friend had a bit weird experience in such contexts. He was the elder son of his family. After his father fell apart and he lived unto the time of adult life by single parenting. His mother was alone, she had to look after his job first. Being a bank employee has burden, daily duty and client dealing as a deputy manager was tough. So, her job was painful a bit and she had no options.
She was quite confident and was accurate in her calculation to choose for what she needed to see in the future. Having a decent bank balance and a house ownership, bit of paternal asset in the lap was enough for her remaining days of retirement secured and stable. When her son grew up, she felt that her son needs to be married and that a particular arrange marriage would be the last choice.
My friend was very cautious of choosing what to do and whom to choose as the companion. The truth is, everyone of us choose the partner whom we love most that suits our merit, the desired intelligence, sense of humour and the parameter by which he/she would keep us happy. So, happiness gets us to the stage where we feel the same - we keep loving unless we know that we are already in love with .
And love takes time.
What may friend adopted as his perfect way of living is to connect the parents together again. That time after time he felt deep that his mother used to cry when she is alone. That loneliness grasps all of us in every stage of life. But, the seclusion is felt terribly at older life.
No work, no busy schedules,no plans for training sessions and home-works to settle for the next days work ahead,these are the complexities old life brings and if there are nobody to talk to - nobody to share emotions,then things are pretty tough.
Bringing his father back was one of the noble things he did, he brought happiness to his family,he discovered that his mother brought back her smile again, the same jovial and tender adoring - the memory of the early childhood love came back to his life again. It is just the realizations that the affairs of money,the abundance and a future financial security was less important than to be able to have the lost love back.
He did it when her mother needed that most.
Life has so many good things to offer - sometimes we get so busy in the artificialities of it that we forget to look at the genuine theme,the natural offerings. He had quite several friends whom he thought that they are good enough to be the life partner. He took time,years after years,until the graduation. He found none of them are care -free, they all share the same cordiality .
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He felt pressure from his mother to get married soon, because he already fell in deep trouble.His life changed and now there should be another family. He is to raise and build a new one, because days have gotten brown and green leaves of it faded soon. Gradually, young minds get old and he discovered that.
Dilemma, if it is to choose between a person who is severely loved, or the other who is selected by the parents are on the priority list. Whom is to be married? The own self has a choice and who has been consistent part of college life. Inversely, the compulsion of the mother's choice - prioritize one and leave another, well that is a matter of dual -love.
And he chose the earlier one,because the logical sense told him that his mother refused to marry someone else because she loved his father most. So, the time in divorced period, he left out -single and alone. Love took over and she returned to the past and that love was pure.
Why not doing the same, because choosing the natural is the fairer choice, life bends towards that and so as he, leaving the fake artificialities alone, for a better, happier future.