I saw a young girl, sitting alone, as if waiting for someone in front of her class. Her chin is like a flower stalk in autumn that bends down, and her back is constantly hit by the drizzle. Her name is Zahra, a woman I love very much but my love is never reciprocated. For some reason, my heart told me to go up to him and talk to him. But I know that it's stupid.
So… I can only stay here, looking at his figure who looks like he's been tired all day sitting and studying. Every now and then Zahra lifts her head and looks into the classroom, and it doesn't seem like it's in there as expected. Then Zahra returned to her seat and looked down again. I wonder why Zahra doesn't feel uncomfortable being hit by the rain which is now getting heavier.
"Why haven't you come home yet?" A teacher came to me, I just answered casually while smiling
"Waiting for an invite" I answered as it was.
"Zahra is the same?" The teacher asked again as soon as he saw Zahra who was also sitting on the front porch of the class.
"Oh, no ma'am, I'm waiting for Firdaus" Zahra replied in a soft voice.
At that time, I saw Zahra's smile was so warm. Until the cold that I felt instantly disappeared.
"Oh okay, I first, please be careful when you go home" the teacher left, with only a message.
"Why don't you take me home anyway?" I'm annoyed.
But it's okay, with me still here, I can see Zahra again.
It's hard for me to forget this feeling, it's been almost a year since I've had feelings for Zahra, but there's never been a reply. I know why Zahra ignored me. Because I'm not as perfect as his idol man. I can compete with the man who likes her, but not with the man that Zahra loves. Feeling this my heart hurts quite a bit and my back feels hot.
Firdaus is a handsome and intelligent man who is always by his side. The figure that Zahra looked at was like a diamond. So I thought “Then why do you have to accept me who is just like a moss that complicates your path? There's no reason for you to return my feelings." My inner whisper to Zahra
Even though I feel it's not fair at all. I fought for him for almost a year, maybe even more. As for him? He didn't struggle at all. For a moment I felt sad, accompanied by the roar of the rain falling from the sky. As if the sky understands my sadness.
Again, I glanced at Zahra who was still in a down position. If you knew how my heart ached when I saw you and Firdaus laughing and eating together in the school cafeteria. How it hurts to realize that I can't forget you as easily as people say.
“Help me, please tell me that you are uncomfortable, don't just show that gesture, tell me frankly!!” My heart screamed.
Unknowingly, tears began to fall from the corners of my eyes, I quickly wiped them and acted as if nothing had happened. I looked at my cell phone, the clock was showing at 4:35 pm
I dialed some numbers and...
"Hello" I said quietly
"Hello, I'm sorry, I can't pick you up, I'm out of gas" said a friend on the other end.
"That's right, my friend. I've been waiting a long time, if you told me earlier, I could walk," I protested in a slightly loud tone, causing Zahra to turn her head.
"Yeah sorry sorry, now what?" He sounded sorry for his negligence.
"Stupid ah" I hung up the phone and rushed to pack my things.
I was ready to go when a voice stopped me.
"You know that I'm uncomfortable with you, right?" The voice was very familiar to my ears. A deep, hoarse voice, a voice that made me fall in love as I fell. Zahra's voice.
"Yes, I know why" I replied without looking away, I knew if I looked at his face at that time I would cry. That would be embarrassing.
“So… you still want to fight?” Zahra asked
"Can you let me go?" Say My Mind.
"If only I knew how to stop thinking about you, how to stop caring about you" I replied, my voice starting to shake, my vision getting blurry with tears.
"You know I have feelings for Firdaus right?" Zahra said to emphasize the fact
"Everyone knows that" I replied with my voice getting softer, I couldn't speak as loud as usual.
"So... please stop chasing me, it's useless and very futile" I didn't hear your steps away, I guessed you were still standing there.
I sighed before I replied “Thanks for reminding me” I walked slowly under the rain.
My tears dripped with the rain that was now really heavy, but I couldn't stay longer and let Zahra, the woman I love, see me cry. I no longer care about the uniform that I still have to wear tomorrow, or else my body will be cold to the point of fever. I just kept walking home, without looking back.
It's so funny how someone can break my heart, and I still hope and can love with all the little pieces
My heart is torn so deep. But with this wound, maybe I can completely forget you, erase you from my heart and mind. Thank you for being an inspiration and inspiration for me. Even though it didn't end happily, at least I learned a valuable lesson that, we shouldn't do anything for love. DON'T BE FOOLED FOR LOVE.
It's no use.
The End