Family at the will announcement following the death of Edgar Jones.
We will begin shortly once we have everyone here.
So Mr Jones has asked me as his solicitor to read out his will. He has changed this a number of times and he was of sound mind when he wrote and revised his will.
My second wife Angela shall get half the house and all its contents, the dog and the cat and my little budgie Winston. To my sons and daughter I know you do not like Angela but this is my choice. I give to you something else and something more fulfilling.
Angela jumps for Joy and leaves the room kicking her heels.
"Screw you guys , I hope I never see you three little shits again."
"I knew she only wanted the house."
To my son Larry, the eldest boy I give you my most prized possession of all. My active , posting & memo Hive keys and the 500,000 Hive power that is powered up in the account."
What the hell is a Hive key?"
Ahem can you please not interrupt while I am reading this out, you can ask me questions about it after the announcement.
"To Julie I leave you with my Splinterlands collection which includes a gold foil maxed out Yodin, a kitty and a Prince Julian with 300 other maxed out gold foil cards."
"What the actual hell is a Splinterlands collection?"
"I will get to that at the end of it."
"To my youngest Samuel , you get my 200,000 Leo Tokens that I have collected over the years. It is an investment in the future and these should see you through tough times. I leave you also a few thousand Poly Cub but I do not know yet if these will increase in value. "
Multiple Murmurings between the siblings
"Hey Mr Jives is that it? The bloodsucking Venezuelan 2nd wife who he met on some app has disappeared with most of the house. What are we getting?? Can someone explain some of this to me in English?"
"We knew this would be a problem so we asked Mr Jones to explain all this computer stuff to us so we could explain to you. You see your father is what is known as a 'whale' in the industry."
"Yes we know he was a bit fat but don't talk ill of the dead!!"
"No no no , a whale in the industry is someone that would have quite a collection of tokens in crypto and would have a significant amount of control so to speak. Did your father ever mention blogging as a hobby?"
"Blogging?? No the dickhead couldn't blog if it bit him in the arse."
"On the contrary Larry, your father wrote about everything , every day of his life, from his daily walks and daily runs , to writing about hunting shadows and listening to music. He wrote about every meal he ate and he also wrote how Hive was the future and he was gonna be rich."
"Okkkkk so what?"
"Well all these posts received rewards and he built up quite the stash of Hive which is the native token of the blogging site."
"OK so how much is a Hive?"
"About 30 cent."
"My my and he left me how many??"
"500,000."
"So over $160,000?"
"Not too shabby!"
"See you later bro and sis. This dude is.....is ....., Jives what is it when you withdraw Hive crypto from Hive??"
"Powering down sir."
"This dude is powering down!!!!"
"Catch ya later.I am out of this kip for good."
OK Julie onto you.
"You received Mr Jones Splinterlands deck.
"And what is a Splinterlands?"
"A monster trading card game."
"Fuck my life, dad is such a little weirdo, I would be happier if you didn't tell me!"
"Oh on the contrary Miss Jones."
"His gold foil cards are worth a pretty penny and will dwarf your brothers Hive stash"
"Do go on Jives, I am eager to know more about this brilliant game."
"Yes some of the maxed out summoners of old can fetch up to 10K on the market. Your father has around 300 of these so it is up to you what you wann...
SELL SELL SELL!!!
"Ok Miss Jones, I will log onto peak monsters later and sell your cards for Hive."
"At the moment considering their base value they will fetch 260k."
"Not too shabby . Let me know when it's done. I'm outta here. See you in the next life Samuel you little cretin."
"Ok Samuel onto you. On paper you get the least out of the last 3 people but you always supported your father and as you know you were the only one who knew about Hive as you have an account yourself, is this true?"
"Yes it is. I have been to Hivefest with him and lost my virginity at it to some hippy. Great times."
"OK so there is one last section of the will just for you alone."
"There is a stipulation here that .... let me be clear and read it ......... "if your brother and sister walk out with an intent of selling my precious cards that I was to bestow the last section of the will onto Samuel who knows about Hive."
As your father puts it :
"It will teach them a lesson on greed and how they didn't come to visit me in 3 years."
"Judging by their decision to sell the Hive power and Splinterlands assets I will pass onto you the owners keys for my Hive account so you can stop your siblings from doing their worst."
If you could type it the owners key into the password change then this will to give yourself new keys pleases Samuel.
"Thank you very much , now here are your new keys.When your brother and sister arrive I will tell them the news and your fathers wishes. So now you own everything. That concludes the will."
Thank you Jives. And one last thing. Who got the other half of the house??
"Some lad with a pet falcon. The house will be wrecked. Turns out Mr Jones was not a fan of his wife after all. Did you ever smell falcon shit?"
"Nope."
"Well I wouldn't recommend it on my worst enemy!"
And thus concludes the will citation so we can close off Mr Jones file.
See you later Samuel and best of luck.
