A few days ago, I was watching a video on YouTube. The content was interesting enough that I watched it all the way through, but then there were comments and I read them.
"This guy's an idiot."
"This video has no point."
"The best thing about this video is how stupid the narrator sounds."
I could have just ignored those comments, but they bothered me so much that I felt like I had to say something. So I commented back with "No, actually, I think he's right."
One of the commenters responded by saying, "You're a moron. You don't know what you're talking about. Go away."
And I couldn't let that go. So I replied again, "I've done a lot of research into this topic. And if you'd read more carefully, you would see that I did mention that there are many ways to interpret things in different cultures. That's why I said 'some of these points may be valid.'"
And then the commenter wrote back, "If you can't even read what's written clearly in front of your face, you should shut up."
At this point, I decided to take the conversation offline, because I didn't want to make a scene on YouTube. But I still wanted to talk about this issue, so I made a post about it on a forum where I'm a member. I talked about how I felt attacked when someone disagreed with me, and asked for advice on how to handle it better next time.
Many people agreed with me, saying that they also get defensive whenever anyone criticizes their ideas. One person suggested that I write down some of my ideas before talking about them, so that I wouldn't feel the need to defend myself against criticism. Another person said that she always asks herself whether she's being overly sensitive. Then she tries to calm down and re-evaluate her thoughts.
But most people said that it's normal to be upset when someone disagrees with you. They said that everyone feels insecure sometimes, especially when they're trying to learn new things. One person pointed out that we shouldn't expect others to agree with us all the time. She said that if someone does disagree with us, it's not necessarily a personal attack; maybe they just have a different perspective than we do.
Another person said that she doesn't usually respond to people who criticize her ideas. Instead, she writes down her own ideas, makes sure that they're correct, and then shares them with the world. This way, she gets feedback from other people instead of criticizing them.
I thought about what this person said. It made sense to me. I started thinking about the ideas I'd shared in my original comment. I wondered if there were any problems with them.
So I re-read the entire thing. And I realized that I hadn't mentioned anything about the cultures of China or India. In fact, I hadn't really discussed the topic at all. I'd just stated that some of the points might be valid.
I had completely missed the point!
When I saw that, I felt embarrassed. I knew that I should have been more careful when I wrote my comment.
Now I know that I shouldn't be so quick to defend myself. And I'll try to remember to ask myself whether I'm being too sensitive before responding to someone else's ideas. After all, I don't want to miss the point. I just want to understand the world around me. This is something that everyone wants to do. But sometimes, it's hard to figure out exactly what's going on.
I'm not very good at accepting corrections or criticisms. Whenever someone points out a mistake in one of my messages, I feel angry and defensive. I feel like I'm being attacked, even though I haven't done anything wrong.
Sometimes I can't help getting mad. I start arguing back. I tell people that they're wrong, that I've already proven that I'm right. Other times, I get quiet. I don't say anything at all. Then I wonder why people are making such a big deal about my mistakes. Why do they care so much about what I write?
Maybe it's because they think I'm smarter than I am. Maybe they're afraid that I'm going to make a fool of myself. I know that these feelings are irrational. But they're still there. They're part of me.
In the past, I've tried to ignore these emotions. But I found that I couldn't do it. So now I'm learning to accept them. I'm working on controlling my reactions to criticism. I try to imagine what other people must be feeling, and how they might be reacting. For example, when someone points out a mistake in one of my posts, I try to think about what it must be like for them. I picture myself in their place, and imagine what I would feel like if someone criticized one of my ideas.
It's hard to do this. I still feel defensive when someone criticizes me. But I'm trying to think about the situation from another person's perspective. Another way I cope with criticism is to write down my thoughts. I keep a notebook with me, and whenever I come across a problem, I write it down. Then I try to find a solution.
When I look back at my notes, I realize that there's nothing wrong with the idea. I just wasn't clear enough. I can fix the problem easily. So I rewrite the comment, post or message, making it clearer. Then I share it with the rest of the world.
That's the process I use to deal with corrections and criticisms. I hope that it will help me to become a better writer.
When I first started writing, I was nervous about sharing my work with others. I didn't want anyone to criticize me. But as time went on, I realized that it's important to share your ideas with other people. You can't learn anything new without asking questions.
So I started talking to people online. I posted messages in forums, and I started a blog. I never expected to get any feedback. I just wanted to talk to people. But then I got a message from someone who disagreed with me.
They told me that my idea wasn't true. I was confused. I thought I'd explained everything clearly. What had I done wrong? I looked over my comment again. And I noticed that I'd left out a few details. I'd assumed that the reader would know certain things, but I hadn't explained them.
I realized that I'd made a mistake. When I read my comment again, I understood why the other person had disagreed with me. It was embarrassing. But I learned from it. I fixed the problem, and I wrote a follow-up post explaining the whole thing.
After that, I started receiving a lot of comments. People liked my ideas, but they also wanted to discuss them further. Sometimes I got annoyed. I didn't like having to explain myself all the time. I'd worked hard on the original idea, and I didn't want to change it. But then I realized that there was a reason for this. If I didn't answer the comments, people would think that I didn't care about their opinions. And if that happened, they wouldn't trust me anymore.
So I changed the way I interacted with people. Now I reply to every single comment. I try to understand what the other person is saying, and I offer suggestions for improving my ideas.
Unfortunately, some people more likely to be rude on social platforms... I wish I could do something about that. But I can't control what other people say. All I can do is try to stay calm, and not react too strongly.
I'm still working on this. But I think it's important to be patient with people. Sometimes, it's difficult to understand someone else's point of view. But if you listen carefully, you can usually find a solution.
I'm not perfect. I still get upset sometimes. But I know that if I keep working at it, I'll get better.
That's all I have to say today. Thank you for reading!
